Socnorb11 wrote:Freed Roger wrote:Bourdain apparently had addiction problems. Or i think. Not sure how we can go far beyond that. And yes, you can live the life doing things you want AND have good fulfilling relationships. I hope the people i have relationships can do the same. For me they are intertwined. Fun and relationships.
For me, not so much.
Even when I do the things that I really enjoy (golf, go to a baseball game, travel a little bit, etc.), it's just "meh" unless I'm doing it with someone that I really enjoy. So yeah, I guess you can have fun without relationship........ but relationship takes it to another level entirely, for me.
Bourdain had struggled with relationship, I think (unless I'm remembering wrong). Maybe that was part of the issue?
RE Bourdain: how do you judge who struggles with relationships and who doesn't. What sort of norms apply? Life is always messy.
vacation with my family in a couple weeks - like I do every year, sometimes twice in a year, not counting daytrips or weekend jaunts. that's what I mean intertwined for me. Ballgames- always with family/friends. And we talk.
I have no issue or guilt whatsoever about doing something I enjoy without the family. Sometimes virtually alone. I run all the time, mostly alone. My family generally encourages it for me - they get it. It can be enlightening, or mindful, prayerful, take your pick.
If my kid goes and does some awesome journey without me, I'll be just as happy - because a part of me is there. My niece is a nurse. I get a kick out of it, hey she's in San Francisco. Hey, there she is in Iceland. O jeesh now she's in Cuba. Now she's a traveling nurse - first gig - Tahoe/Reno. She was in town recently. Healthier and happier than ever, knows she won't do this forever - but it works.
Anyhow seems like you are typecasting people that do what they enjoy as something extreme, like Hedonists. It rarely is that way. Not everybody is the trustafarians depicted on reality tv. Most have to balance out other things. And work. And pitch in when someone in family is ill or needs help. ... maybe I don't understand your premise. Doing something you like away from your base relationships - it is still intertwined with your relationships if it makes you happy/healthier individual. if you have to do something for work,,go to a ballgame, dinner with client, travel somewhere cool - I can understand it's not as good as with family/friends - but even there - make the most of it.