Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

The forum for ranting, raving, complaining and praising
Post Reply
User avatar
JL21
NPR & THT Contributor
Posts: 36130
Joined: April 18 06, 7:44 am
Location: Chocolate City

Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by JL21 »

Nothing beats homefield advantage. At home, the seat is positioned at the exact height that you want, you get to use the [expletive] tickets you bought to your exact ass wiping specifications, you have your own reading materials... I guess this is part rave about [expletive] at home and part rant about taking a [expletive] at work or in other public restrooms. It's impossible to get comfortable, especially at work, because some poor stranger or co-worker is being subjected to your foul turds.

User avatar
cards2468
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 14763
Joined: October 28 06, 11:10 pm
Location: LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by cards2468 »

I try to keep my dumps mostly at work. It saves me money on TP and it gives me a little break from work. I always play solitaire on my phone when pooping, and it's perfect, because I typically win at solitaire in about 4 minutes. Once the game is over, I clean up and go back to work.

That said, this week I've been timing my daily dumps to be at 9am. This is perfect bc the old [expletive] in this building don't [expletive] until about noon. Nobody is in the bathroom, and the toilets still smell like bleach from the night crew cleaning up. The TP is awful, but it's worth it.

All things equal, yes, dumping at home is the best... except when your heat is out for the past 6 weeks and it feels like you're sitting on a frozen lake naked.

Freed Roger
Seeking a Zubaz seamstress
Posts: 26227
Joined: September 4 07, 1:48 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by Freed Roger »

cards2468 wrote:I try to keep my dumps mostly at work.
Oh, so you're one of them wide stance guys.

User avatar
thrill
bronoun enthusiast
Posts: 30369
Joined: April 14 06, 10:45 pm
Location: barely online

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by thrill »

cards2468 wrote:I try to keep my dumps mostly at work. It saves me money on TP and it gives me a little break from work.
I can't tell you how many times I've gone into the bathroom to waste time and play on my phone instead of working with no plans to dump, only to have one pop up (out?).

User avatar
docellis
America's Most Beloved Twitter Joke Thief
Posts: 24838
Joined: April 18 06, 6:54 pm

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by docellis »

Paying people to poop. I wonder what the total cost to employers might be.

User avatar
Jocephus
99% conan clips
Posts: 63658
Joined: April 18 06, 5:14 pm

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by Jocephus »

unfortunately i could go into a lot of SABR detail on this subject...but i'll refrain and only agree that yes, at home is much much better.

User avatar
JL21
NPR & THT Contributor
Posts: 36130
Joined: April 18 06, 7:44 am
Location: Chocolate City

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by JL21 »

Jocephus wrote:unfortunately i could go into a lot of SABR detail on this subject...but i'll refrain and only agree that yes, at home is much much better.
Mike Scioscia's DUMPS+ was right around league average for much of the 1980s.

User avatar
cards2468
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 14763
Joined: October 28 06, 11:10 pm
Location: LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by cards2468 »

let's say people take on average a 15 minute break from work to poop

15min/8hrs = 3.125% of their day

According to Wikipedia, the average income for people 25+ is $32,140

3.125% x $32,140 = $1,004.38

as of 2007: 153,516,000 people are employed or looking for work (I assume people that are unemployed factor into the average salary)

$1,004.38 x 153,516,000 = $154,187,632,500

To give you an idea of how much that's worth. Apple is valued at $153 billion.

America's yearly work [expletive] are worth Apple.

User avatar
JL21
NPR & THT Contributor
Posts: 36130
Joined: April 18 06, 7:44 am
Location: Chocolate City

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by JL21 »

15 minutes seems a bit long. I take about that long, but it seems like the average pooper is way less time.

Pujols is a God
Everyday Player
Posts: 179
Joined: April 17 06, 2:02 pm

Re: Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

Post by Pujols is a God »


Post Reply