GatewayRedbirds.com

-- No matter how hard I try in my night-school chemistry classes, for the life of me I still can't figure out a way to not only spike urine samples, but then un-triple-seal that container and re-triple-seal it well enough to fool a lab.

It isn't so long now since Ryan Braun won his appeal and got his 50-game suspension overturned and what he still hasn't explained - even as he apparently thinks his story should be the one in "Les Miserables" — is how Dino Laurenzi Jr. was enough of a scientific genius to do all that.

Spike two samples perfectly.

Un-seal and re-seal the containers.

Fool the testers at the lab.

I mean, if Laurenzi can do all that, he's wasting his time on urine samples, the guy ought to be an art thief figuring out a way to rob the Met.

How did he do it?

And why did he do it?

Here's one more: If Ryan Braun thinks that somebody associated with Major League Baseball tampered with a drug test, how come he didn't call in the FBI first thing?

By the way?

Braun might not have the best lawyer out there, but he does seem to have the loudest in this guy Cornwell.

Cornwell issued a statement the other day saying Laurenzi was trying to "re-litigate" the case.

Laurenzi isn't the one on trial, no matter how much Braun and his lawyer and his agents and crisis managers want him to be.

Braun is the one who tested positive and still hasn't explained to anybody how synthetic testosterone, at high levels, got into his sample.

Because if you believe that Dino Laurenzi put it there, you also believe in the tooth fairy.

The more Braun and his people keep talking, the more they won't shut up, the more legs this story will have.

The more Braun and his people keep talking, the more they won't shut up, the more legs this story will have.

Polly: Don't panic!
Basil Fawlty: [shouting] What else is there to do?

PHOENIX (AP)—If his spring training debut was any indication, earplugs might come in handy for Ryan Braun this season.

The reigning NL MVP was heckled while striking out in his only two at-bats in the Milwaukee Brewers’ 1-all tie with a split squad of the San Francisco Giants on Sunday.

It was Braun’s first game since getting caught up in a drug case during the offseason. He recently won his appeal, overturning a 50-game suspension for a positive drug test.

But about half of the 6,619 fans cheered for the Giants and greeted Braun with catcalls. They serenaded the Brewers slugger with chants of “Ur-ine Sam-ple!” before Braun struck out swinging against Madison Bumgarner in his first at-bat. His second time up, Braun was greeted with chants of “Cheater!” before looking at strike three.

Braun was getting the kind of treatment Barry Bonds used to draw toward the end of his career—and from the very fans who were the only ones who didn’t deride the Giants superstar who was long suspected of using steroids

Technically, all 3 were supposed to be confidential. I guess whoever leaked Braun's result might know, but nobody was supposed to release any of that.