Really Slow Sandwich Preparation

[cards2468]

Medicine by jim:

fancy sandwiches will give you colon cancer

[jim]

You need to eat stuff that makes you [expletive]. It's that simple. If you aren't [expletive] 2-3x per day they you are at risk of colon cancer. My guess is this fancy eating and especially this gluten free [expletive] is plugging people up.

[TimeForGuinness]

At a tooty fruity sandwich shop that offers pretzel rolls(whatever those are), yes. They always take a long time. They also overcharge and have a tip cup. I recommend avoiding these hipster places, and finding a local Subway and supporting that franchise. Your sandwich will be in your hand in less than one minute, and they won't even let you order it on a pretzel roll.

I might as well just throw the subway sandwich in the toilet and save myself the bowel trouble...considering how fast it moves through my system.

I'll take the ten minute tooty fruity sandwich shop any day over subway.

You eat artisan gluten free asagio bread, don't you?

What the hell is that? You eat that? I get wheat bread...not some of that subway-destroy-your-colon bread.

No, you [expletive] the Subway bread out right away. It's like a colon scrubber. The other bread stays in your colon and rots - that's what colon cancer is. Stuff you can't [expletive] out and it gets rancid in there.

It comes out too damn soon, I can barely finish half my sandwich before I'm screaming on the toilet. It's like hot lava being poured through my body.

That's why it's called subway, because it goes screaming through your intestines like a subway through a tunnel.

[planet planet]

At a tooty fruity sandwich shop that offers pretzel rolls(whatever those are), yes. They always take a long time. They also overcharge and have a tip cup. I recommend avoiding these hipster places, and finding a local Subway and supporting that franchise. Your sandwich will be in your hand in less than one minute, and they won't even let you order it on a pretzel roll.

I might as well just throw the subway sandwich in the toilet and save myself the bowel trouble...considering how fast it moves through my system.

I'll take the ten minute tooty fruity sandwich shop any day over subway.

You eat artisan gluten free asagio bread, don't you?

What the hell is that? You eat that? I get wheat bread...not some of that subway-destroy-your-colon bread.

No, you [expletive] the Subway bread out right away. It's like a colon scrubber. The other bread stays in your colon and rots - that's what colon cancer is. Stuff you can't [expletive] out and it gets rancid in there.

It comes out too damn soon, I can barely finish half my sandwich before I'm screaming on the toilet. It's like hot lava being poured through my body.

That's why it's called subway, because it goes screaming through your intestines like a subway through a tunnel.

You really built up to a crescendo on this one. Bravo!

[cardinalkarp]

At a tooty fruity sandwich shop that offers pretzel rolls(whatever those are), yes. They always take a long time. They also overcharge and have a tip cup. I recommend avoiding these hipster places, and finding a local Subway and supporting that franchise. Your sandwich will be in your hand in less than one minute, and they won't even let you order it on a pretzel roll.

I might as well just throw the subway sandwich in the toilet and save myself the bowel trouble...considering how fast it moves through my system.

I'll take the ten minute tooty fruity sandwich shop any day over subway.

You eat artisan gluten free asagio bread, don't you?

What the hell is that? You eat that? I get wheat bread...not some of that subway-destroy-your-colon bread.

No, you [expletive] the Subway bread out right away. It's like a colon scrubber. The other bread stays in your colon and rots - that's what colon cancer is. Stuff you can't [expletive] out and it gets rancid in there.

It comes out too damn soon, I can barely finish half my sandwich before I'm screaming on the toilet. It's like hot lava being poured through my body.

That's why it's called subway, because it goes screaming through your intestines like a subway through a tunnel.

Sounds to me like you got a weak @ss stomach!

[JL21]

This thread is making me hungry for Subway.

I like the Ex-lax Pizziola Melt.

Also, I kind of get the feeling that jim's poops are the stuff of viking lore.

[TimeForGuinness]

At a tooty fruity sandwich shop that offers pretzel rolls(whatever those are), yes. They always take a long time. They also overcharge and have a tip cup. I recommend avoiding these hipster places, and finding a local Subway and supporting that franchise. Your sandwich will be in your hand in less than one minute, and they won't even let you order it on a pretzel roll.

I might as well just throw the subway sandwich in the toilet and save myself the bowel trouble...considering how fast it moves through my system.

I'll take the ten minute tooty fruity sandwich shop any day over subway.

You eat artisan gluten free asagio bread, don't you?

What the hell is that? You eat that? I get wheat bread...not some of that subway-destroy-your-colon bread.

No, you [expletive] the Subway bread out right away. It's like a colon scrubber. The other bread stays in your colon and rots - that's what colon cancer is. Stuff you can't [expletive] out and it gets rancid in there.

It comes out too damn soon, I can barely finish half my sandwich before I'm screaming on the toilet. It's like hot lava being poured through my body.

That's why it's called subway, because it goes screaming through your intestines like a subway through a tunnel.

Sounds to me like you got a weak @ss stomach!

I just don't like ingesting crap. Feel free to eat all the crap you want with the 99%ers.

[TimeForGuinness]

I like the Ex-lax Pizziola Melt.

Lord, just reading that makes me want to [expletive].

[sighyoung]

This thread is making me hungry for Subway.

I like the Ex-lax Pizziola Melt.

Also, I kind of get the feeling that jim's poops are the stuff of viking lore.

Hagar the Horrible Sandwich.

[G. Keenan]

You could save at least 5 minutes if you gave up sandwiches and started eating some kind of fortified food pellet substitute. It could turn your whole life around. Think of how different and better things would be if you could waste that 5 minutes posting on GRB about how happy you are to have saved them by eating the pellet instead of waiting in line for a delicious sandwich.