Money vs Time
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- Perennial All-Star
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Money vs Time
Where is the appropriate balance between making more money and having more time with kids/family? I know that answer is different for everyone, but I'm contemplating a job change.
Currently regularly work 50-hr weeks, with a fair amount of that time in evenings or weekends. Hard telling kids yet again that I can't play because I need to work. One of the few times I haven't worked on vacations is when we've been camping out of cell phone range. Also, I often don't sleep well because I wake up in the middle of the night worried about meeting deadlines. But the work is challenging and I work with really great people.
New job would likely be for less money, but true 40-hr weeks. No need or expectations to work evenings/weekends. Gov't job, so additional holidays, plus after a few years, more vacation than I currently get. Plus a pension. Commute would be longer, maybe 30-40 min instead of 10 min, but I can probably time it to avoid the worst of rush hour. Work would be more administrative and less challenging/interesting.
My kids are (almost) 15, 11, and 6, so the additional time to spend with them is pretty priceless.
I think the answer is obvious, but it's hard to make a leap away from someplace you generally like, where they have invested in you, and where I feel like I'd be letting them down a bit if I bolted. But it's also easy to think that in 20 years, I'd rather have good memories of spending time with the kids because there won't be fond memories of whatever project I felt like I needed to work on instead of playing with them.
Currently regularly work 50-hr weeks, with a fair amount of that time in evenings or weekends. Hard telling kids yet again that I can't play because I need to work. One of the few times I haven't worked on vacations is when we've been camping out of cell phone range. Also, I often don't sleep well because I wake up in the middle of the night worried about meeting deadlines. But the work is challenging and I work with really great people.
New job would likely be for less money, but true 40-hr weeks. No need or expectations to work evenings/weekends. Gov't job, so additional holidays, plus after a few years, more vacation than I currently get. Plus a pension. Commute would be longer, maybe 30-40 min instead of 10 min, but I can probably time it to avoid the worst of rush hour. Work would be more administrative and less challenging/interesting.
My kids are (almost) 15, 11, and 6, so the additional time to spend with them is pretty priceless.
I think the answer is obvious, but it's hard to make a leap away from someplace you generally like, where they have invested in you, and where I feel like I'd be letting them down a bit if I bolted. But it's also easy to think that in 20 years, I'd rather have good memories of spending time with the kids because there won't be fond memories of whatever project I felt like I needed to work on instead of playing with them.
- Fat_Bulldog
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Re: Money vs Time
Spend time with your family!
- cardinalkarp
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Re: Money vs Time
In your case, it seems pretty obvious.
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Re: Money vs Time
It's time for me. I chose this path 16 years ago when our daughter was born, taking time over money - working OT in busy season, then part-time in slower times. Of course, our being able to piece it together without much daycare was a money saver, not to mention quality of life for everyone involved.
My employer seems to appreciate our arrangement thus far. I consider myself lucky.
Granted, some financial strains could be lessened - but made it this far. Can always ramp up with some side gigs* if needed.
*side gigs are harder than people think -I do a small bit of it, more as a favor for people that need help than the $$ they give me. That extra time starting and stopping -and not having the resources of an employer, it blows. People that work multiple jobs and side gigs to get to 40 hours per week, probably lose extra 10 or 20% leisure time.
My employer seems to appreciate our arrangement thus far. I consider myself lucky.
Granted, some financial strains could be lessened - but made it this far. Can always ramp up with some side gigs* if needed.
*side gigs are harder than people think -I do a small bit of it, more as a favor for people that need help than the $$ they give me. That extra time starting and stopping -and not having the resources of an employer, it blows. People that work multiple jobs and side gigs to get to 40 hours per week, probably lose extra 10 or 20% leisure time.
Last edited by Freed Roger on October 16 19, 1:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Money vs Time
My recommendation would be to do whatever you think is best. No one ever wished they worked more as they're dying, I'm told. But, also, no one ever felt bad leaving helping their kids financially I'm also told. I probably work 60 hours a week. Drop the kid off at school in the AM and get to work at 730 and get home at 530. Then come back in at 9 after the kids go to bed and work until 1 AM or so.
I've often thought the same thing. It would be easier to get a govt job, make about half as much, have less deadlines, less stress. At the same time, I find the work I do pretty rewarding nowadays so I really kind of like it. My wife otoh....
I've often thought the same thing. It would be easier to get a govt job, make about half as much, have less deadlines, less stress. At the same time, I find the work I do pretty rewarding nowadays so I really kind of like it. My wife otoh....
- 33anda3rd
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Re: Money vs Time
Gashouse, are you passionate about the current job and do you enjoy going in to work every day?
- haltz
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Re: Money vs Time
I'm in a similar position where I have an offer that I don't think I can turn down. The job I currently have is sort of a unicorn in the restaurant industry and I can't say enough good things about it, but getting home at midnight to a house where people are asleep and then being groggy or unconscious when they leave in the morning is starting wear on everyone.
This new thing would be a bit of a paycut unless I just killed it right out of the gate and it's not as much in my wheelhouse but I know the people there and it's mostly during the day. It would also be much more recession-proof. That last bit keeps me up at night because the train I'm on currently would survive just like it did the last time, but slow down considerably if the [expletive] hits the fan economically. I've been through it before in fine dining and it's not fun.
This new thing would be a bit of a paycut unless I just killed it right out of the gate and it's not as much in my wheelhouse but I know the people there and it's mostly during the day. It would also be much more recession-proof. That last bit keeps me up at night because the train I'm on currently would survive just like it did the last time, but slow down considerably if the [expletive] hits the fan economically. I've been through it before in fine dining and it's not fun.
- IMADreamer
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Re: Money vs Time
The answer is obvious but hard to achieve. We've lost our way in America. Part of it is the problem of the worker, we want more, we want stuff for our family, we want bigger houses, nicer cars, etc. The other part is we have let our employers walk all over us. There is no good reason to be working 50-60-70 hours a week. The employer should hire someone else if their employees are putting in that many hours. Of course they won't, they will work you to death if they can. All of that makes it hard to get more time, but you have to.
You can't get time back. I have said it before. I sold my business to get more time. I wish I'd had done it sooner. Sure what I do now can mean long hours but we are trying to mitigate that now. We are done with the 100 hour weeks just because it's harvest. To me that just means we need bigger equipment to get it done faster and that's what we are doing.
I just think back at all the people I wish I'd have spent more time with in the past rather than working. I realize I am in a position of privilage now that I can limit my working hours, but I can promise you I won't regret not putting in a 36 hours straight this fall, or 100+ hour weeks. I love coming home at 6-6:30 and spending time with my wife or seeing my Dad not on the farm, but doing something outside of that. It's cliche as hell, but life is really short and you can't get the time back.
You can't get time back. I have said it before. I sold my business to get more time. I wish I'd had done it sooner. Sure what I do now can mean long hours but we are trying to mitigate that now. We are done with the 100 hour weeks just because it's harvest. To me that just means we need bigger equipment to get it done faster and that's what we are doing.
I just think back at all the people I wish I'd have spent more time with in the past rather than working. I realize I am in a position of privilage now that I can limit my working hours, but I can promise you I won't regret not putting in a 36 hours straight this fall, or 100+ hour weeks. I love coming home at 6-6:30 and spending time with my wife or seeing my Dad not on the farm, but doing something outside of that. It's cliche as hell, but life is really short and you can't get the time back.
- Joe Shlabotnik
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Re: Money vs Time
With money, you can buy time.
With time, you can make money.
With time, you can make money.
- heyzeus
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Re: Money vs Time
This is the quintessential question of my life.
At this point in my career, I'm paid by the hour, and the hourly rate is quite good. I have no salary. Every hour I work, my family makes money. Every hour I don't work, my family does not make money.
And that's true all the time. So if I work a 15 hour day every day, my family makes a lot of money. Conversely, every single day I take off - whether for vacation, sick day, or even just the days of the weekend - my family does not get paid a penny.
That's the blessing and the curse of it. Every minute of vacation I take is an unpaid vacation, but every hour of billable work I put in is paid. I'm totally ok with this. Most days I leave the office close to 5pm and I'm with my family for dinner, homework, bedtimes, and weekends. I wouldn't have it any other way.
The one thing I've learned from being a lawyer for almost 15 years now is that nothing comes for free. I do well and have no complaints, but I know that there are other firms where I could be making astronomically more money doing fundamentally the same kind of work. In some cases, pushing seven figures.
BUT! Nothing comes for free! The cost of that money, that insane money, is time. It's evenings, it's weekends, it's vacations. I would not have those things in any true sense. 70 hour weeks would be standard.
As far as I know, you only get one life. And I definitely know my kids will only be kids for a short while, all told. I'm not missing any more than I absolutely need to miss in order to provide for them. I don't need a Porsche, I don't need a vacation house. I need to be their dad and see them grow up into bigger little people. That's really all I want in life at this point, and I'm not trading that for a job that pays more money at the expense of this time.
(and I realize what a privilege I have, in this world, to get to make that choice. many, many people do not)
At this point in my career, I'm paid by the hour, and the hourly rate is quite good. I have no salary. Every hour I work, my family makes money. Every hour I don't work, my family does not make money.
And that's true all the time. So if I work a 15 hour day every day, my family makes a lot of money. Conversely, every single day I take off - whether for vacation, sick day, or even just the days of the weekend - my family does not get paid a penny.
That's the blessing and the curse of it. Every minute of vacation I take is an unpaid vacation, but every hour of billable work I put in is paid. I'm totally ok with this. Most days I leave the office close to 5pm and I'm with my family for dinner, homework, bedtimes, and weekends. I wouldn't have it any other way.
The one thing I've learned from being a lawyer for almost 15 years now is that nothing comes for free. I do well and have no complaints, but I know that there are other firms where I could be making astronomically more money doing fundamentally the same kind of work. In some cases, pushing seven figures.
BUT! Nothing comes for free! The cost of that money, that insane money, is time. It's evenings, it's weekends, it's vacations. I would not have those things in any true sense. 70 hour weeks would be standard.
As far as I know, you only get one life. And I definitely know my kids will only be kids for a short while, all told. I'm not missing any more than I absolutely need to miss in order to provide for them. I don't need a Porsche, I don't need a vacation house. I need to be their dad and see them grow up into bigger little people. That's really all I want in life at this point, and I'm not trading that for a job that pays more money at the expense of this time.
(and I realize what a privilege I have, in this world, to get to make that choice. many, many people do not)