Rave: The Onion

The forum for ranting, raving, complaining and praising
Post Reply
User avatar
Donnie Ebert
Perennial All-Star
Posts: 5463
Joined: June 15 06, 9:11 am
Location: Reading The Boat Rocker by Terence Mann

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by Donnie Ebert »

Here's a baseball related one that should probably be handed out to youth coaches who are too intense:

Dad Thinks Son Has What It Takes To Become Embittered Alcoholic Minor League Journeyman

User avatar
pioneer98
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 22250
Joined: July 15 08, 8:24 pm
Location: High A Minors

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by pioneer98 »


User avatar
pioneer98
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 22250
Joined: July 15 08, 8:24 pm
Location: High A Minors

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by pioneer98 »

Campaign Setback: The Vice Presidential Debate Is The Same Night As Tim Kaine’s Final Showcase For His Puppeteering Class
Well, Tim Kaine is certainly turning into quite the liability for the Clinton campaign.

America’s vice presidential nominees get just one chance to go head-to-head before election day, but it looks like this year’s debate could be missing a pretty important player. Late last night the Clinton campaign was thrown into a complete and total panic when Tim Kaine realized that the VP debate is the same night as the final showcase for his puppeteering class.

Really, Tim? What a completely irresponsible move.

The debate is scheduled for the evening of October 4 at a college in Farmville, Virginia. But that very same night, in his hometown of Richmond, Senator Kaine and eight classmates are slated to present the final projects from their Puppetry Fundamentals course at the local community center. It’s a jam-packed cabaret of monologues, skits, and songs, and Kaine claims he’s had the event on his calendar long before he joined Clinton’s ticket. His staffers have urged him to drop out of the showcase ASAP, but with the Act I choreography complete and having already offered to play the rain stick for a classmate’s presentation, things aren’t looking good for the campaign.

User avatar
pioneer98
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 22250
Joined: July 15 08, 8:24 pm
Location: High A Minors

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by pioneer98 »

I Am Fun - Commentary by Hillary Clinton
I am fun.

I enjoy fun. I both have fun and can be fun. Fun is a word that accurately describes me and a large quantity of things of which I am fond. I appreciate fun when I encounter it, and I have even been known to partake in activities that produce fun for myself and others. Fun is something I often have when amongst a group of people. In such situations, I am capable of amusing others and, in turn, of being amused by them.

Thus, I am a fun person.

User avatar
Joe Shlabotnik
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 23105
Joined: October 12 06, 2:21 pm
Location: Baseball Ref Bullpen
Contact:

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by Joe Shlabotnik »

pioneer98 wrote:I Am Fun - Commentary by Hillary Clinton
I am fun.

I enjoy fun. I both have fun and can be fun. Fun is a word that accurately describes me and a large quantity of things of which I am fond. I appreciate fun when I encounter it, and I have even been known to partake in activities that produce fun for myself and others. Fun is something I often have when amongst a group of people. In such situations, I am capable of amusing others and, in turn, of being amused by them.

Thus, I am a fun person.
I want to see 'I am qualified' from Trump.

User avatar
stlouie_lipp
Hallelujah Brother
Posts: 13409
Joined: April 17 06, 7:36 pm

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by stlouie_lipp »

Rahm Emanuel Concerned Gun Violence Could Spread To Parts Of City He Gives [expletive] About
http://www.theonion.com/article/rahm-em ... ad-p-54016

User avatar
Leroy
a bad penny always turns up
Posts: 25112
Joined: April 17 06, 12:27 pm
Location: Hanging out with my redneck, white socks and Blue Ribbon beer.
Contact:

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by Leroy »

More Election Coverage 
FEC Extends Election By 7 Months To Give Nation Chance To Better Get To Know Candidates

Oh God.

Freed Roger
Seeking a Zubaz seamstress
Posts: 26227
Joined: September 4 07, 1:48 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by Freed Roger »

Leroy wrote:More Election Coverage 
FEC Extends Election By 7 Months To Give Nation Chance To Better Get To Know Candidates

Oh God.
Onion headlines have been good. And yeah, more frightenly real than usual.

User avatar
stlouie_lipp
Hallelujah Brother
Posts: 13409
Joined: April 17 06, 7:36 pm

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by stlouie_lipp »

Cubs Fan Ready To Get Completely Drunk Again On Only 2 Days’ Rest
“I did some light drinking yesterday and felt okay, so I think I’ll be good to go. I might not be able to drink as much as I normally could after a full week’s rest, but I’ll go hard and throw back as many beers as I can. There’s no way I would miss an opportunity to get totally hammered when my team is in the World Series.”
http://www.theonion.com/article/cubs-fa ... -2-d-54528

User avatar
Leroy
a bad penny always turns up
Posts: 25112
Joined: April 17 06, 12:27 pm
Location: Hanging out with my redneck, white socks and Blue Ribbon beer.
Contact:

Re: Rave: The Onion

Post by Leroy »

Nation Suddenly Realizes It Never Had To Worry About John McCain Dying Over Past 8 Years If He’d Become President

Post Reply