Alzheimer's

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lukethedrifter
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Alzheimer's

Post by lukethedrifter »

Dealing with it with my mom's husband. It's complicated in that we're trying to keep things as 'normal' for him as possible so it's really hard to know when is time to move him to some sort of home where he won't have the same ability to work in the yard, take a walk etc.

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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by Freed Roger »

That is rough.

My main experience with it was with my maternal Grandma. I wasn't part of decisions, but I sense it was made less difficult by the home being great, as far as a nursing home can be. My grandma knew friends there going, and the place is well-known fabric of the community.

I sort of recall bringing her out for some family events early, but after a while we decided to take the events to her. We grew to liking that room where we met.

I was always close to her, so I treasured my personal visits to the home. I thought it was helpful for her but I gained more than I gave. Her short term memory was shot, but the long-term memories were there. She would tell me about raising my Mom and Aunts, and growing up in the Depression, going to Cardinal games way back. That part was cool. Then she would struggle when she'd recall my Aunt that passed from cancer a few years prior. -it didn't make sense to her how or that it happened.

I was a bit worried about my Mom a couple years ago - she seemed forgetful, and a bit OCD about things. Then my daughter and I went on a camping road trip for a week with her and I dismissed the notion.

Anyway, this reflection probably doesn't help you. What's normal will never be the same. But the new normal can have some good things.

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lukethedrifter
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by lukethedrifter »

I just hope that we can find a place nearby that is suitable. If the best place ends up a twenty minute drive the reality is that the daily walks and visits are unlikely and I would hate that for him.

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lukethedrifter
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by lukethedrifter »

I just hope that we can find a place nearby that is suitable. If the best place ends up a twenty minute drive the reality is that the daily walks and visits are unlikely and I would hate that for him.

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Molly
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by Molly »

Does your mom live in St. Louis? There is a place on the corner of Grand & Magnolia (not the high rise) that I believe has a wing for Alzheimers patients.

My sister-in-law's father was in the veteran's home up in north county. She and her brothers were very happy with that place.

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Radbird
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by Radbird »

My mom's still at home (my sister is living with her). She will be at that point soon - it's arguable that she's already there but the day is coming when it will no longer be optional. She had considered moving into assisted-living a few years ago and I wish that had happened. Now she's not capable of understanding decisions much less making them, and she would not go willingly. Had the same situation with my grandma - I'll never forget her getting really pissed and saying "we didn't do this to our old people". Ouch.

It's really a tough situation, luke. Keep us posted on what happens. We'll have to find some place close (she's in Webster) and it's time to start scoping things out.

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Radbird
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by Radbird »

Molly wrote:Does your mom live in St. Louis? There is a place on the corner of Grand & Magnolia (not the high rise) that I believe has a wing for Alzheimers patients.

My sister-in-law's father was in the veteran's home up in north county. She and her brothers were very happy with that place.
My dad was at the Mo. Veteran's Home in Cape Girardeau. The quality of care there was also excellent but just a little too far away.

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KyCardinalFan
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by KyCardinalFan »

Sorry, Luke. Tough decisions.

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IMADreamer
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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by IMADreamer »

Sorry to hear about it Luke, my Grandmother had it. It's an awful horrible thing, but if I may offer some advice even on the days they are really gone I think they still know. My Grandmother for the last year or so couldn't speak, couldn't really walk, certainly couldn't take care of herself. Still there were flashes of knowing when someone would walk in her room. You could see her face light up, she knew who they were.

Then on the day my Grandfather died I realized that I think atleast to some extent should could understand what we were saying. When Grandpa passed we brought her into the room with all of us and there were two things that made me think she knew what was happening. First she reached out and held my hand and the second was she kept looking at us with this distraught shocked look. She knew. She only lasted a month after that herself and I'm pretty sure it's because she knew he was gone and wanted to be with him.

So keep talking to them like they were before they got Alzhiemers. Tell them about your day, your kids, the Cardinals, whatever. They know.

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Re: Alzheimer's

Post by Freed Roger »

These decisions can be tough on the family relationships. One of my aunts is a control freak (amongst other issues), and my grandma getting Alzheimer's falls into a category that can't be controlled. Since the aunt was out of town, she would cause a lot of grief for the family that was in town. Then there can be resentment the other direction where some family member's go AWOL and don't help give input on the decisions.

So hoping Luke's family can do its best to get along thru all this.

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