This made me laugh quite a bit.Jocephus wrote:cuckolding
Resolving stupid marital conflicts
- Fat_Bulldog
- likes to grate his own cheese
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
- wart57
- just can't quit you.
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
I am always wrong, so there is no point in arguing.
- cards2468
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
Went thru marriage counseling before getting married, granted we're only nearly 2 years into it, it seems like we weather issues better than the couples we know who didn't go through any counseling before marriage. I think we would be doing fine without it, but I think it helped put my mind in a good perspective of trying to be more considerate of what she's going through.
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- "I could totally eat a pig butt, if smoked correctly!"
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
I went to counseling once before I met Mrs. AW. And, it's something I recommend for anyone unless you're already a saint. Mrs. AW and I also did pre-marriage counseling through our church. What I remember from all of this is that people need to express themselves and reflect on what bothers them and why. For instance, if the SO wants to do something (like go out to dinner with his/her friends), and that bothers the other person, does it bother them because they are insecure/because it's money they don't have to spend/because they simply don't want to be alone during that time/because the SO goes out 5 nights a week/etc etc etc.
People shouldn't express anger. They are better served by communicating the reasons they are angry.
I'm upset you're going out to dinner with your friends because you go out with them more than me, and I don't have as many friends to go out with as you do. But, even if I did, someone has to stay at home and take care of the kids. This is a partnership and I just feel like I'm doing a lot of the heavy lifting while you're away and you like spending time with your friends more than me.
Vs.
How dare you go out with your friends again. You never spend time with us. You aren't helping enough around the house. You don't ever want to go out with me. [expletive] off.
People shouldn't express anger. They are better served by communicating the reasons they are angry.
I'm upset you're going out to dinner with your friends because you go out with them more than me, and I don't have as many friends to go out with as you do. But, even if I did, someone has to stay at home and take care of the kids. This is a partnership and I just feel like I'm doing a lot of the heavy lifting while you're away and you like spending time with your friends more than me.
Vs.
How dare you go out with your friends again. You never spend time with us. You aren't helping enough around the house. You don't ever want to go out with me. [expletive] off.
Last edited by AWvsCBsteeeerike3 on August 15 16, 1:48 pm, edited 2 times in total.
- Leroy
- a bad penny always turns up
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
We communicate fine. I tell her to shut up. She shuts up.
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
When in doubt, sex it out.
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
I have nothing useful to add personally, but I thought I'd share an This American Life episode on the topic. Researchers bring married couples into a lab to argue. Through observations of how they go about it, they can generate highly accurate predictions of whether the marriage will last.
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-a ... iage?act=1
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-a ... iage?act=1
- cardsfansince82
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
Just say the three magic words.
- wart57
- just can't quit you.
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
I thought those words were "[expletive] you, [expletive]!"cardsfansince82 wrote:Just say the three magic words.
- cardsfansince82
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Re: Resolving stupid marital conflicts
Nah, that's only cool if you're a professional athlete.wart57 wrote:I thought those words were "[expletive] you, [expletive]!"cardsfansince82 wrote:Just say the three magic words.