Alcohol Curtailment

The forum for ranting, raving, complaining and praising
Post Reply
User avatar
haltz
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 20036
Joined: November 9 06, 6:45 am
Location: a proud midwestern metropolis

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by haltz »

I definitely don't mind talking about it. It's unfortunate that I can't have a couple of drinks without having a couple more and then calling a drug dealer (that combo was really where the magic happened for me, there's an argument that alcohol was just the middle man that needed to be cut out), but I tried for years and finally accepted what I needed to do. This didn't dawn on me until I was several months into what I told myself would be a year sober. In some ways it makes my life harder professionally, but it's been easier in a lot of ways too. I'm a better employee and if I come up with some cocktail or whatever I'm not emotionally invested in it. I've never tried it either so my coworkers can tell me what they think and it's no big deal. Sometimes like I said previously, I have to turn down a glass of wine from a bottle that costs as much as a Honda Civic but what are you gonna do.

I've gotten a lot of mileage from being open in terms of accountability but I've also found myself in the position where people come to me with their issues, often while drunk, and a day or two later they aren't really interested in making a change. This can get frustrating. I try not to let it since I've been on the other side of the conversation dozens of times.

I never cared for weed and it would go against what I'm trying to do which is tackle life while with everything sharp and in focus. I have friends that have quit problem drinking and hard drugs who still smoke and it really works for them. Sometimes I'm jealous of that too in the same way I am with people that can drink moderately. Sounds nice to be able to take the edge off but I know where that leads for me. If I ended up enjoying it even though I never have, it would become a problem.

AWvsCBsteeeerike3
"I could totally eat a pig butt, if smoked correctly!"
Posts: 25338
Joined: August 5 08, 11:24 am
Location: Thinking of the Children

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by AWvsCBsteeeerike3 »

My neighbor throws this big turkey neck dinner/party tonight. Always been one of the heaviest drinking nights of the year. I think last year we probably had 20ish drinks starting at 8 pm and ending around 4 in the morning.

I love the guys, and really want to go. But, I'm not really sure what the best approach is. Just say [expletive] it and drink like we used to. I really have no desire to do that. Just drink a beer or two then sneak out and say I don't feel well. Just drink a beer or two and put up with the pressure we constantly put on each other to drink more. I don't like any of those options. I think I'm just going to call him and tell him I'm not drinking. Take a route 44 from sonic to sip on and call it a night a little earlier than 4 am after kicking everyones ass at cards and getting my ears blown out by rap music for 4 hours.

User avatar
33anda3rd
Replies Authoritatively
Posts: 8422
Joined: April 7 13, 9:45 am
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by 33anda3rd »

AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote: So, if that's the definition you want to go with, can we change change 3/6 to 13/18, leave the rest the same and say it's drinking responsibly? If so, 13 beers over the course of the day is responsible by your definition.
Not sure how you got there. 3/6 = 9/18. And that's if you're drinking in the 5 morning hours and you're asleep for six, but I sleep for 8. So over 11 PM waking hours, at that pace, would be 5.5 beers from noon-11. Sure, that's probably not great for you, but it's not super heavy.

I don't think there can be a ratio of responsibility that is linear and fits all occasions.
At home my pace is maybe 3/1: two glasses of wine over the 40 minutes I sit and eat dinner with my wife. Perfectly responsible.
If I took that 3/1 ratio to a bar for three hours I'd have nine drinks and be irresponsible.
If I took that 3/1 ration and halved it--1.5/1--for six hours I'd have nine drinks in six hours and still be irresponsible.
If I didn't eat much it's multiplied.
And so on.

"Responsible" in this case does not = "Can handle it" or "Don't make an ass of myself" or "Can remember it all tomorrow" it means I make the right choice for what's in my body. It means I took good care of myself. I don't think, ever, that drinking a whole bunch of alcohol but remaining just this side of in control ever is synonymous with "responsible." If I drink 15 beers in a day but don't fight someone, it's not a W.
AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote:Regarding seeing a doctor, how do you envision that conversation would go?
How do you see it going, not you personally, but for someone who is downing 50+ beers in a week? Especially if someone is talking to their Dr and they have one of the many health problems that long-term heavy drinking brings (cancer, ulcers, respiratory illness, cardiovascular problems, liver disease, heavy nerve damage, loss of motor skills due to brain damage, triglyceride levels off the charts, pancreatitis, and like 100+ more) and the Dr asks how much they drink and they go "Like 50-55 beers a week" what do you then see the doctor saying?
Last edited by 33anda3rd on November 27 19, 3:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
33anda3rd
Replies Authoritatively
Posts: 8422
Joined: April 7 13, 9:45 am
Location: Chicago, IL

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by 33anda3rd »

AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote:My neighbor throws this big turkey neck dinner/party tonight. Always been one of the heaviest drinking nights of the year. I think last year we probably had 20ish drinks starting at 8 pm and ending around 4 in the morning.

I love the guys, and really want to go. But, I'm not really sure what the best approach is. Just say [expletive] it and drink like we used to. I really have no desire to do that. Just drink a beer or two then sneak out and say I don't feel well. Just drink a beer or two and put up with the pressure we constantly put on each other to drink more. I don't like any of those options. I think I'm just going to call him and tell him I'm not drinking. Take a route 44 from sonic to sip on and call it a night a little earlier than 4 am after kicking everyones ass at cards and getting my ears blown out by rap music for 4 hours.
Because of work I have become really good at having a drink every couple hours or longer, it's very attainable. You can totally crack a beer and hold it for two hours. It's not going to taste good at the end. You're not going to catch the same buzz the neighbors are all catching. But you won't look out of place and you won't have to answer questions of "Yo AW, why aren't you drinking?" If you take a bottle of vodka or gin and a six-pack of soda water you can have a vodka-soda every 2 hours with a glass of soda water after then another vodka-soda over the course of 2 hours and there won't be a person at that party who realizes that you've had 2 drinks in 6 hours to their 12 drinks.

User avatar
cardinalkarp
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 17012
Joined: May 4 06, 8:44 am

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by cardinalkarp »

haltz wrote:I definitely don't mind talking about it. It's unfortunate that I can't have a couple of drinks without having a couple more and then calling a drug dealer (that combo was really where the magic happened for me, there's an argument that alcohol was just the middle man that needed to be cut out), but I tried for years and finally accepted what I needed to do. This didn't dawn on me until I was several months into what I told myself would be a year sober. In some ways it makes my life harder professionally, but it's been easier in a lot of ways too. I'm a better employee and if I come up with some cocktail or whatever I'm not emotionally invested in it. I've never tried it either so my coworkers can tell me what they think and it's no big deal. Sometimes like I said previously, I have to turn down a glass of wine from a bottle that costs as much as a Honda Civic but what are you gonna do.

I've gotten a lot of mileage from being open in terms of accountability but I've also found myself in the position where people come to me with their issues, often while drunk, and a day or two later they aren't really interested in making a change. This can get frustrating. I try not to let it since I've been on the other side of the conversation dozens of times.

I never cared for weed and it would go against what I'm trying to do which is tackle life while with everything sharp and in focus. I have friends that have quit problem drinking and hard drugs who still smoke and it really works for them. Sometimes I'm jealous of that too in the same way I am with people that can drink moderately. Sounds nice to be able to take the edge off but I know where that leads for me. If I ended up enjoying it even though I never have, it would become a problem.
Thank you for sharing haltz. I too had much of the same problem. When I drank, I would want to drug...and when I drugged I would almost always drink since it was intensify the drugs I did (pharmaceutical opiates and anti-depressants).

My drinking/drugging destroyed a marriage because of all the lying and hiding it eventually led to. I've always known it was a problem, but I justified it by surrounding myself w/ people who did what I did. It took losing my marriage and coming to the realization that I was at a point where I was choosing to get high and drunk over the people that I cared for most in my life. As they say, everyone's "bottom" is different, but that was mine.

I decided it was time to make some serious changes in my life, as I had been drinking and doing drugs for nearly 25 years and it was truly beginning to ruin me as a person. I know AA is not for everyone, but I had tried to quit numerous times only to be right back where I started (or worse) within months so I knew I had to do something different. While the meetings are not for everyone (although I do happen to enjoy them), working a 12 step program is good for ANYONE....whether your trying to get sober or not. The program itself has been great for ME, and when it comes to my sobriety I have to be selfish....I've been sober for a little over 2 years and the difference it has made in my live is eye opening.

Freed Roger
Seeking a Zubaz seamstress
Posts: 25960
Joined: September 4 07, 1:48 pm
Location: St. Louis

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by Freed Roger »

AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote:My neighbor throws this big turkey neck dinner/party tonight. Always been one of the heaviest drinking nights of the year. I think last year we probably had 20ish drinks starting at 8 pm and ending around 4 in the morning.

I love the guys, and really want to go. But, I'm not really sure what the best approach is. Just say [expletive] it and drink like we used to. I really have no desire to do that. Just drink a beer or two then sneak out and say I don't feel well. Just drink a beer or two and put up with the pressure we constantly put on each other to drink more. I don't like any of those options. I think I'm just going to call him and tell him I'm not drinking. Take a route 44 from sonic to sip on and call it a night a little earlier than 4 am after kicking everyones ass at cards and getting my ears blown out by rap music for 4 hours.
And so?

User avatar
Jocephus
99% conan clips
Posts: 58634
Joined: April 18 06, 5:14 pm

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by Jocephus »

Freed Roger wrote:
AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote:My neighbor throws this big turkey neck dinner/party tonight. Always been one of the heaviest drinking nights of the year. I think last year we probably had 20ish drinks starting at 8 pm and ending around 4 in the morning.

I love the guys, and really want to go. But, I'm not really sure what the best approach is. Just say [expletive] it and drink like we used to. I really have no desire to do that. Just drink a beer or two then sneak out and say I don't feel well. Just drink a beer or two and put up with the pressure we constantly put on each other to drink more. I don't like any of those options. I think I'm just going to call him and tell him I'm not drinking. Take a route 44 from sonic to sip on and call it a night a little earlier than 4 am after kicking everyones ass at cards and getting my ears blown out by rap music for 4 hours.
And so?
Image

AWvsCBsteeeerike3
"I could totally eat a pig butt, if smoked correctly!"
Posts: 25338
Joined: August 5 08, 11:24 am
Location: Thinking of the Children

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by AWvsCBsteeeerike3 »

ha. No, went well, I told the guy before I went over that I wasn't going to drink. Brought a route 44 sonic drink and drank that for the first hour. Then filled it up with water. Ended up taking a shot of some nasty gin around 11 and then left about midnight. Played some dominoes and spades. Went well. Kind of funny watching 20 guys progressively get drunker and drunker. I also took a 6 pack of ipa (puke) in the event they weren't going to leave me alone. So, I did have one of those open for the night though I didn't drink it and gave a couple away so it wasn't obvious I wasn't really drinking. I bet half the guys asked what was in the sonic drink and I'd just say cherry and limeade but no one believed me.

User avatar
stlouie_lipp
Hallelujah Brother
Posts: 13353
Joined: April 17 06, 7:36 pm

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by stlouie_lipp »

cardinalkarp wrote:
haltz wrote:I definitely don't mind talking about it. It's unfortunate that I can't have a couple of drinks without having a couple more and then calling a drug dealer (that combo was really where the magic happened for me, there's an argument that alcohol was just the middle man that needed to be cut out), but I tried for years and finally accepted what I needed to do. This didn't dawn on me until I was several months into what I told myself would be a year sober. In some ways it makes my life harder professionally, but it's been easier in a lot of ways too. I'm a better employee and if I come up with some cocktail or whatever I'm not emotionally invested in it. I've never tried it either so my coworkers can tell me what they think and it's no big deal. Sometimes like I said previously, I have to turn down a glass of wine from a bottle that costs as much as a Honda Civic but what are you gonna do.

I've gotten a lot of mileage from being open in terms of accountability but I've also found myself in the position where people come to me with their issues, often while drunk, and a day or two later they aren't really interested in making a change. This can get frustrating. I try not to let it since I've been on the other side of the conversation dozens of times.

I never cared for weed and it would go against what I'm trying to do which is tackle life while with everything sharp and in focus. I have friends that have quit problem drinking and hard drugs who still smoke and it really works for them. Sometimes I'm jealous of that too in the same way I am with people that can drink moderately. Sounds nice to be able to take the edge off but I know where that leads for me. If I ended up enjoying it even though I never have, it would become a problem.
Thank you for sharing haltz. I too had much of the same problem. When I drank, I would want to drug...and when I drugged I would almost always drink since it was intensify the drugs I did (pharmaceutical opiates and anti-depressants).

My drinking/drugging destroyed a marriage because of all the lying and hiding it eventually led to. I've always known it was a problem, but I justified it by surrounding myself w/ people who did what I did. It took losing my marriage and coming to the realization that I was at a point where I was choosing to get high and drunk over the people that I cared for most in my life. As they say, everyone's "bottom" is different, but that was mine.

I decided it was time to make some serious changes in my life, as I had been drinking and doing drugs for nearly 25 years and it was truly beginning to ruin me as a person. I know AA is not for everyone, but I had tried to quit numerous times only to be right back where I started (or worse) within months so I knew I had to do something different. While the meetings are not for everyone (although I do happen to enjoy them), working a 12 step program is good for ANYONE....whether your trying to get sober or not. The program itself has been great for ME, and when it comes to my sobriety I have to be selfish....I've been sober for a little over 2 years and the difference it has made in my live is eye opening.
Inspiring stuff, guys. Good work.

AWvsCBsteeeerike3
"I could totally eat a pig butt, if smoked correctly!"
Posts: 25338
Joined: August 5 08, 11:24 am
Location: Thinking of the Children

Re: Alcohol Curtailment

Post by AWvsCBsteeeerike3 »

cardinalkarp wrote:
haltz wrote:I definitely don't mind talking about it. It's unfortunate that I can't have a couple of drinks without having a couple more and then calling a drug dealer (that combo was really where the magic happened for me, there's an argument that alcohol was just the middle man that needed to be cut out), but I tried for years and finally accepted what I needed to do. This didn't dawn on me until I was several months into what I told myself would be a year sober. In some ways it makes my life harder professionally, but it's been easier in a lot of ways too. I'm a better employee and if I come up with some cocktail or whatever I'm not emotionally invested in it. I've never tried it either so my coworkers can tell me what they think and it's no big deal. Sometimes like I said previously, I have to turn down a glass of wine from a bottle that costs as much as a Honda Civic but what are you gonna do.

I've gotten a lot of mileage from being open in terms of accountability but I've also found myself in the position where people come to me with their issues, often while drunk, and a day or two later they aren't really interested in making a change. This can get frustrating. I try not to let it since I've been on the other side of the conversation dozens of times.

I never cared for weed and it would go against what I'm trying to do which is tackle life while with everything sharp and in focus. I have friends that have quit problem drinking and hard drugs who still smoke and it really works for them. Sometimes I'm jealous of that too in the same way I am with people that can drink moderately. Sounds nice to be able to take the edge off but I know where that leads for me. If I ended up enjoying it even though I never have, it would become a problem.
Thank you for sharing haltz. I too had much of the same problem. When I drank, I would want to drug...and when I drugged I would almost always drink since it was intensify the drugs I did (pharmaceutical opiates and anti-depressants).

My drinking/drugging destroyed a marriage because of all the lying and hiding it eventually led to. I've always known it was a problem, but I justified it by surrounding myself w/ people who did what I did. It took losing my marriage and coming to the realization that I was at a point where I was choosing to get high and drunk over the people that I cared for most in my life. As they say, everyone's "bottom" is different, but that was mine.

I decided it was time to make some serious changes in my life, as I had been drinking and doing drugs for nearly 25 years and it was truly beginning to ruin me as a person. I know AA is not for everyone, but I had tried to quit numerous times only to be right back where I started (or worse) within months so I knew I had to do something different. While the meetings are not for everyone (although I do happen to enjoy them), working a 12 step program is good for ANYONE....whether your trying to get sober or not. The program itself has been great for ME, and when it comes to my sobriety I have to be selfish....I've been sober for a little over 2 years and the difference it has made in my live is eye opening.
Thanks for sharing, Karp. Sounds like you’re doing well.

Post Reply