Rant: Shyness/Introversion

[InvincibleCakeEater]

Drink more alcohol.

[Radbird]

Good advice from Admiral and Richie. I think experience is the best teacher. Having gone through this will help you treat your patients more effectively, right?

[Popeye_Card]

Some days I think slide_into_first is a genius. Other days, I know. Today, I know.

[Cronos]

Aren't you going to school to be a shrink? Isn't it your job to fix people's minds so they aren't shy anymore?

Heh. If one could "fix" minds just like that I would be looking elsewhere for a job because the field wouldn't exist. We're all human, including therapists. Anyone who says they don't have issues is lying.

Shyness is actually narcissistic.

I'd like to hear more of Slide's opinion on this, actually, assuming it wasn't a joke/sarcasm.


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Still, it's pretty fair to say that this era does not favor the introverted/shy.

[InvincibleCakeEater]

Still, it's pretty fair to say that this era does not favor the introverted/shy.

Has there ever been an era that favored people who couldn't talk to other people?

[Richie Allen]

Still, it's pretty fair to say that this era does not favor the introverted/shy.

Has there ever been an era that favored people who couldn't talk to other people?

I think he means, if classic literature can be trusted, there was a day when it wasn't seen as a weakness or shortcoming if one was reserved. And loud, outspoken individuals were viewed as less refined.

[Cronos]

Still, it's pretty fair to say that this era does not favor the introverted/shy.

Has there ever been an era that favored people who couldn't talk to other people?

Yes, in eras where marriages and partnerships were arranged.

[Popeye_Card]

This era is one of the best in recent times for the shy/reserved. Particularly when it comes to dating. 20 years ago, the intorverted still had to come out of their shells to find a mate in public. Today, well the internet was basically invented for the introverted.

I believe s_i_f's point has been well illustrated in the past few posts. Classic literature protagonists who were introverted? That's because a large chunk of authors were/are introveted. Amazing how they make their personality traits seem noble. And arranged marriages? Get over yourself. Nobody is going to arrange anything for you. You're not goddamned royalty.

Unless you have a paralyzing fear of other people, sack up. I'm generally a reserved guy. But like anything else in life, sometimes you just have to be stronger than your flaws.

[Richie Allen]

I don't disagree with your assessment of 19th century authors, Popeye. But their voices were seen by many as the voices of reason in that day and age and, like influences that occur in all eras, the behavior of their characters were often the blueprint that many young men and women aspired to. George Eliot's Middlemarch, which I'm currently reading, was described as being "concerned with how to live and what to think, not just as these problems present themselves to the man in the street, but to the artist and the philosopher." Sure, much of the literature was set in a different time or completely different social structure and might have been viewed as nothing more than an escape and there were often examples of despicable behavior, but I still doubt the influences of today's society (nothing but wall-to-wall obnoxious, while constantly being reminded that loud, confident life of the party types get all the women they want) could be viewed as more welcoming or a better environment for an introvert to exist.

Oh, and let me go on record as saying that don't I think shyness or narcissism should necessarily automatically be viewed as a "flaw".

[slide_into_first]

Cronos- if you are walking into a room full of strangers and feel insecure because you are afraid of making a fool of yourself and don't talk to anyone because you are afraid of being rejected, that comes from the point of view that "it's all about me." It is a downside to being introverted. In reality, no one is looking at you and they have enough problems of their own and don't care about yours. That all comes from your need to measure up to an idealized picture you have in your head. Life is not perfect. No one is perfect.

If you see relationships as gifts and that you have something to offer others, and that relationships allow you to get your needs met, then by allowing your fear of rejection to inhibit you, you are being selfish.

If this rant started because you wanted to talk to a hot chick you saw at LAX while you were waiting to return to O' Hare and you hoped she'd introduce you to the Mile High Club but were afraid of rejection, you are just making yourself miserable, haltz and ICE can pull that off but others cannot.

Thank you, Popeye, for the compliment, that was very high praise.