Rave: Taking a [expletive] at home

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Is there anything worse than having to take a [expletive] before you finish your morning coffee. For some reason it bugs me to no end. I'll physically squeeze my ass cheeks together to be able to finish at least the first cup of joe.

[jim]

I plugged the toilet up at the health place this morning. It was all I could do to get out of the house and make the 5 minute drive without [expletive] myself, but I'm glad I did it. It was worth putting off instant gratification. Because when I plug the toilet up outside of my house, I don't have to unplug it.

This is yet another reason for not going at home.

[Bo Hart]

I plugged the toilet up at the health place this morning.

Busted out laughing uncontrollably at this... at work.

[haltz]

Is the proximity-sensing autoflush really necessary in a stall? I pulled into a Quiktrip this afternoon because I really had no choice, and took a supremely vile [expletive]. That's not even the right word. It was watery and uncontrollable. Vultures are amateurs. Anyway,a Quiktrip bathroom in St. Peters has to be one of the most crowded places on earth, and it would've eased my comfort level if the sound and smell of that nightmarish bowel movement could have been covered up by a few commercial toilet flushes. Not an option.

And then when I was finishing up, the guy who peeked through the crack to see if it was occupied. I asked if he couldn't just look for shoes like other civilized human beings, and he scurried out.

[TGantz]

Is the proximity-sensing autoflush really necessary in a stall? I pulled into a Quiktrip this afternoon because I really had no choice, and took a supremely vile [expletive]. That's not even the right word. It was watery and uncontrollable. Vultures are amateurs. Anyway,a Quiktrip bathroom in St. Peters has to be one of the most crowded places on earth, and it would've eased my comfort level if the sound and smell of that nightmarish bowel movement could have been covered up by a few commercial toilet flushes. Not an option.

And then when I was finishing up, the guy who peeked through the crack to see if it was occupied. I asked if he couldn't just look for shoes like other civilized human beings, and he scurried out.

I was laughing out loud the entire time I read that.

[Arthur Dent]

Are you saying the proximity switch was the only way to flush? No manual button? The problem I have with those things is that I stand up to wipe, which triggers the thing immediately and several more times before I finish, thereby negating the (I assume) goal of saving water.

[Tambourine Man]

Chalk another one up for the standing wipers.

[Maclowery]

I cannot compete with haltz's awesome story. Jesus. Amazing.

Today at work was a bummer. Our bar has your standard nice men's and women's rooms, with a handicapped-accessible room past them that most customers don't notice. Hence, it's basically the staff bathroom. Much preferred since it's a one-stall room so there's no chance of hearing other people. Today it was occupado (the kitchen staff take their possibly-literal sweet-ass time in there), so I had to dip into the public restroom. Always embarrassing when you're clearly an employee. And, of course, the dude who walked in the same time as me got to hear my opera of horror, even though I tried to pinch off a gentleman's 30 seconds for him.

Of course, 10 minutes later his waitress had to go on break, so I had the opportunity to bring his group a round of drinks. He had to have been thinking "Wow, that's that skinny bastard who sounded like that youtube hippopotamus video a few minutes ago, giving me a beer. cool!"

[docellis]

you should have looked that dude straight in the eye and said "i'm sellin' the steak, not the sizzle"

[docellis]

for a good 6 months every bathroom i used (gym, work, school) had the auto flush. i hate it.

1. it seems to be splashier.
2. it made me forget to flush at home