Rant: Spying Family Members of Partners

[Cronos]

So my GF and I nearly broke up tonight because her overly-involved and nosy sibling who stalked me online and found my twitter-feed where I [expletive] and moaned a bit after a mutual mis-communication cut short our Valentine's day plans, where both of us were angry, said things we both regret. We had a brief argument, but I think for the most part we're okay given that we took a mutually-agreed upon brief break.

Still: am I wrong to think that this situation is a bit unfair? Long story short: she lives with her younger sister and has all but told me that she "shares EVERYTHING" with her, so I kind of knew what I was getting into. I didn't like it, but I didn't have a problem with it for the most part. I opened Pandora's Box, after all, when I found, friended the sister on facebook and privately messaged her what I thought she might like since we had just started dating and I wanted to be clever and romantic like that. When she didn't respond to me for a day and a half, considering the sister lives with her, I figured she had to have spoken with her about it.

I know the word "fair" has no place in relationships, but seriously...am I wrong? My GF decried me for talking about our relationship on twitter. Hardly anybody follows me on twitter. And my twitter is normally locked. My friends on twitter are 95% not local and have never met. It's not like I posted this [expletive] on Facebook where she and I would both be embarrassed and harmed socially or professionally by this. In fact, I feel I showed significant restraint by not posting anything on facebook.

RGGh.

[Freed Roger]

I don't have twitter or Facebook and the likes, but it seems like if you put something out there - it is fair game.

[Cronos]

I don't have twitter or Facebook and the likes, but it seems like if you put something out there - it is fair game.

Sure, and my girlfriend and I talked about this. In the end it's my own fault for not locking my all but unknown twitter account (I obviously wouldn't post things on facebook where it could harm her personally and professionally), but why is there a double standard where she is able to talk to her sister about everything that we do/say? I'm not allowed to talk to my own friends about any details at all about my relationship, but she can talk about everything with her closest confidant?

[expletive] that.

[Maclowery]

Speaking from experience, don't talk about your Cardinals forum you love to chat with normal people about not-just-baseball stuff. Next thing you know, she's figured out which forum it is, she knows your online moniker, and bam, you're in the frying pan.

[lukethedrifter]

tweeting your personal business seems like a bad idea from the get go

[heyzeus]

At least you learned some valuable things. The sister is not to be trusted. Say nothing publicly on FB or twitter about your relationship. Make sure they never learn of this place. Log out on your computer. Clear browser history etc

[thrill]

Don't tweet critical things about people you care about. No one will take it well no matter how few people see it.

That said, it sounds like it might be better for you to chalk this relationship up to some valuable experience and then find somebody who isn't so weirdly intimate with their kid sister.

[Freed Roger]

It's just natural for some people to want to check it out. We had our older daughter de-friend many of our adult friends & family members. I got tired of learning from them about stuff happening in my own house with my daughter's colds, bad days, trouble with boyfriend etc etc. Certain people just gobble that [expletive] up.

Normal daily stuff somehow gains relevance just because people found that nugget via a social media press release.

[Fat_Bulldog]

Tweeting relationship information vs. talking to a sibling about relationship stuff.

And you're mad because?

[jim]

My boss has good advice - whatever you post online ask yourself if you would be comfortable having that same thing posted on the front page of the New York Times. If the answer is no, then don't post it. To be blunt, I think if you post stuff like that you basically are asking for it.