Rant: The current state of the 3rd floor men's room

[IndyCards13]

I've seen something close to this in a McDonald's bathroom in Plainfield. One of the grosses sights i've ever had. Turds all over the floor and poopy toilet paper everywhere.

[jim]

This stuff was basically liquid coming out I'm pretty sure, coagulated at room temp a bit but certainly too loose to form anything that would resemble a turd.

Although when I first started working here 16 years ago, first month I was here I did see perfectly formed turds in the corner. We had this guy that was a savant - Ph.D. and a genius in math and computer science but otherwise not functional in the most basic ways. He was this short round little man with big glasses slipping off of his nose all of the time and he wore polyester pants with suspenders. He would forget to go and then just fly up from his chair and go sprinting for the restroom. You could hear the grunts and the $30 in change jingling in his pockets, and oh boy if you were at the urinal when he came flying in god help you. Because he had them [expletive] suspenders off before he hit the door, and he had his thing out and the flow going 3 steps before he got within range to hit the urinal. Whatever he sprayed on the way in he sprayed.

Well, one day I walk in the stall and look in the corner and there are like four perfectly formed turds. It had to have been him, and I'm sure he crapped his pants on his sprint in. They weren't squished down or anything so he couldn't have started while he was sitting, these were text book looking turds.

This is the same guy that was diabetic and would get skittles out of the vending machine and sit in the break room and chew them and hack them back into a brown napkin and stuff it in his shirt pocket. He'd have this brownish skittle juice running out of the corner of his mouth - when you mix all of them colors up the purple dominates and it's not a pretty color.

I miss Dave. Hope he's ok.

[IndyCards13]

This stuff was basically liquid coming out I'm pretty sure, coagulated at room temp a bit but certainly too loose to form anything that would resemble a turd.

Although when I first started working here 16 years ago, first month I was here I did see perfectly formed turds in the corner. We had this guy that was a savant - Ph.D. and a genius in math and computer science but otherwise not functional in the most basic ways. He was this short round little man with big glasses slipping off of his nose all of the time and he wore polyester pants with suspenders. He would forget to go and then just fly up from his chair and go sprinting for the restroom. You could hear the grunts and the $30 in change jingling in his pockets, and oh boy if you were at the urinal when he came flying in god help you. Because he had them [expletive] suspenders off before he hit the door, and he had his thing out and the flow going 3 steps before he got within range to hit the urinal. Whatever he sprayed on the way in he sprayed.

Well, one day I walk in the stall and look in the corner and there are like four perfectly formed turds. It had to have been him, and I'm sure he crapped his pants on his sprint in. They weren't squished down or anything so he couldn't have started while he was sitting, these were text book looking turds.

This is the same guy that was diabetic and would get skittles out of the vending machine and sit in the break room and chew them and hack them back into a brown napkin and stuff it in his shirt pocket. He'd have this brownish skittle juice running out of the corner of his mouth - when you mix all of them colors up the purple dominates and it's not a pretty color.

I miss Dave. Hope he's ok.

That is so gross.

[cardsfantx]

pics or it didn't happen


























please don't have pics

[JL21]

jim is the William Shakespeare of poop stories.

[jim]

No pics but it happened. I have so many stories about this guy, every one of them true and unembelished. One guy kept telling his wife about stuff and she refused to believe him so he brought in a video recorder (this was like 1995) and video'd the guy. He used to read like 8 newspapers a day, and he would get all excited at a story and you would hear these grunts and laughs and knew he would not be able to contain himself. He'd put the paper down and be laughing and running out of his cubicle with his arms pumping down like he was trying to punch the floor.

He was a sports fan though, I actually could connect with him by talking sports. He was from New York and loved the Yankees, jewish guy with this really affected thick jewish New York accent because of his disability. I actually really felt for the guy, I mean this was the strangest human being I had ever met. Imagine a Rain Man Einstein with Turrets. That was him.