Corporate Speak

[letsgocards89]

Had this bit of clipart in a slide deck I received today. Something about overly serious expressions made me LOL.

[wart57]

Had this bit of clipart in a slide deck I received today. Something about overly serious expressions made me LOL.

Here, take the baton!!
I HAVE THE BATON!!!!! And I shall RUN WITH IT!!!!

[JackofDiamonds]

SYNERGIZE - TEAMWORK

WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

[Radbird]

The term "organic growth" has become trendy. It means sales growth of our internally developed products. As opposed to those manufactured by others that we acquire and sell.

I feel much healthier when I work on an organic deal.

[jim]

Here is a good one I got from my idiot MBA boss yesterday. The guy is a walking acronym/buzzword machine. I've never seen anyone close to him in terms of the [expletive] - even the dress code. This is the guy that has bad hair plugs and polishes his nails. Yesterday he was wearing the goofiest ass looking turtleneck I have ever seen in my life. He is a nothing, he did consulting for 20+ years which gives you a hint. Lots of fluff, no substance. Here is the email I got:

Bob does not see Tom reengineering our BPs using Lean or Six Sigma
> principles.  He reiterated that he wants Tom to focus on eliminating
paper.

I've heard of Six Sigma but really don't know what it is, and we sure as hell don't practice anything like that. So I replied (this was the last part of an email):

And your last sentence means absolutely nothing to me.

BP is batting practice to me. He uses acronyms like crazy and shortens words all of the time. In a meeting yesterday he kept shortening a word in conversation and it took me forever to realize what he was talking about. He's a nice guy and everything but as a boss he is just a tool. We are oil and water.

[JL21]

I love this… some ad agency made a fake brand book for Santa Claus. And it makes fun of all of the stupid bull [expletive] language and strategies that I hear on a daily basis.

http://www.fastcodesign.com/3023236/thi ... -century#1



I can't stress enough that I hear people speak this way every day I go to work.

[planet planet]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZ ... ture=share][/youtube]

[TimeForGuinness]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZ ... ture=share][/youtube]

Good lord that hits close to home...hilarious.

[Radbird]

That was great - but somebody should've shown up in their PJs.

[Freed Roger]

That was great - but somebody should've shown up in their PJs.

preferably the lady.

I will occasionally see my wife on conference call, flipping the bird to her phone.