just bought a house and I am freaking out

[planet planet]

Welcome to the land of "it's always something".

[ndistops]

Wife and I are house hunting and I hate this thread because of it.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

A mortgage basically limits where you can live and the minimum amount of money you can make and the maximum you can spend. Which are big [expletive] limitations if you ask me.

How much more than renting, really? Both carry a monthly cost with which you may decide you no longer want to accept. Granted, selling a home is more work than ending a lease and a bunch of people will have their hands in your pockets for the transaction, but you still have to hunt down a new place and move all your stuff, which to me at least is daunting. Home buying also has a speculative component but the relative risk there is much lower than short term trading of 3D printer stocks. Also, almost no one actually stays in their home long enough to pay it off. The median length of length ownership is more like 10 years or something. When you no longer want the house, you can sell it and get the not having a job savings back, typically with interest.

To me, the main problem with housing in urban areas is that it just costs too damn much no matter the financial arrangement. The cost of rent around here also feels like a big [expletive] limitation.

Edit:

How do you justify having money sitting there when paying a mortgage?

Easily. Without a mortgage, you still face a choice between spending and saving. A mortgage tips the balance towards saving some as you have the option to save by paying down principal and reducing your interest cost, but even without a mortgage you trade-off returns on invested savings when you spend. I would still maintain a liquid emergency fund and then save or spend unexpected income like bonuses, or whatever, pretty much as I would without a mortgage.

Just a few things.

RE: renting being as big of a ball and chain as buying..... Sure, they're both monthly payments. But, renting the same property is likely going to be a bit cheaper on a month to month basis* as there's no taxes, interest, insurance, maintenance, etc. Getting out of a lease is a fine, if that. Selling a house requires finding a buyer. Being a buyer requires obtaining a loan, transferring tens of thousands of dollars out of personal control, paying for an inspection, paying for an appraisal, and actually liking the house enough to do the previous things.

Also, unlike stocks they're not a liquid asset. You're not getting that money back for quite some time if it's needed and I think that's where all this freaking out started. All that money is not gone, but it's reliant on selling the house which will at a minimum take months and also require moving.

I think we're pretty much in agreement re: the savings while having a mortgage. Seems like the prudent thing to do is pay off the principal with a little fund in case of emergency. I like having a bigger fund; it just makes me feel more secure. And, like you said, I can trade 3d printing stocks all day. Something to do at work other than GRB.

[jim]

I think a condo is the way to go. Home buying/ownership is the biggest scam ever. A lot of people make a lot of money and have convinced people that you are living the dream if you own a home.

[Michael]

Buying a condo fixes this issue.

How has the HOA worked out? My girlfriend owns a condo, and it hasn't been a great experience. Your neighborss pipes are in your walls, you have less control of the timing of special assessment for repairs/upgrades, etc.

I'm in a smaller HOA with only 6 units and its new construction, which I think is the way to go. I've noticed larger HOA and older buildings are more likely to be a mess. We've had some interesting experiences, but it's not a nightmare. I basically never do maintenance, shovel snow, mow a lawn, etc. I think the trade-off is well worth it. YMMV

[GeddyWrox]

I own, and right now it's a PitA, but hear me out... We bought a modest house on the fringes of St. Louis. We stayed well within our means. Like, we were pre-approved for a $300,000 house, but bought one roughly half that cost. When the market tanked and rates went down, we refinanced from a 30 year at roughly 4.5% to a 15 year at 4.125. We kept our house payment the same, and managed to shave 15 years off our loan. We also over-pay every month, to bring down the principal amount. We aren't even 40 yet, and if we push it hard, we could own our house outright in another 7 or 8 years. At that point, we'd only have the cost of taxes and home owners insurance. The burden up front is high, and it has taken a good deal of restraint. But it will be [expletive] liberating as hell to know no mother [expletive] can come take our house away from us. And everything we earn from age 48 forward -- every dime we don't spend -- goes right into my early retirement fund. So, yeah, I am glad we own.

[jim]

I own, and right now it's a PitA, but hear me out... We bought a modest house on the fringes of St. Louis. We stayed well within our means. Like, we were pre-approved for a $300,000 house, but bought one roughly half that cost. When the market tanked and rates went down, we refinanced from a 30 year at roughly 4.5% to a 15 year at 4.125. We kept our house payment the same, and managed to shave 15 years off our loan. We also over-pay every month, to bring down the principal amount. We aren't even 40 yet, and if we push it hard, we could own our house outright in another 7 or 8 years. At that point, we'd only have the cost of taxes and home owners insurance. The burden up front is high, and it has taken a good deal of restraint. But it will be [expletive] liberating as hell to know no mother [expletive] can come take our house away from us. And everything we earn from age 48 forward -- every dime we don't spend -- goes right into my early retirement fund. So, yeah, I am glad we own.

If you are like me, you will just find a different way to piss it away.

[GeddyWrox]

I own, and right now it's a PitA, but hear me out... We bought a modest house on the fringes of St. Louis. We stayed well within our means. Like, we were pre-approved for a $300,000 house, but bought one roughly half that cost. When the market tanked and rates went down, we refinanced from a 30 year at roughly 4.5% to a 15 year at 4.125. We kept our house payment the same, and managed to shave 15 years off our loan. We also over-pay every month, to bring down the principal amount. We aren't even 40 yet, and if we push it hard, we could own our house outright in another 7 or 8 years. At that point, we'd only have the cost of taxes and home owners insurance. The burden up front is high, and it has taken a good deal of restraint. But it will be [expletive] liberating as hell to know no mother [expletive] can come take our house away from us. And everything we earn from age 48 forward -- every dime we don't spend -- goes right into my early retirement fund. So, yeah, I am glad we own.

If you are like me, you will just find a different way to piss it away.

Luckily I have my wife to keep me in line. I affectionately call her the budget nazi. I have to fill out request forms in triplicate to purchase a soda at the gas station. LOL... No, it's not that bad. But she does keep an eye on what we're spending our money on. And if we're bleeding money she'll put a stop to it.

[docellis]

I was underwater on my last house (despite the fact that I was supposedly buying it with 20k built in equity at the time) and we sold it and basically made about $4000. I bought a house in 2005, which was basically the worst time ever to buy a house. I felt like I would never actually own it and it was hard to spend money on keeping it up. So getting rid of it felt really good.

We bought a new house last year that was a complete disaster. But it had 2 things that the other house didn't: A large kitchen and a large backyard.

We spend all our time thinking about our next project in the house. We've taken a home that revolted us and turned it into something we really love, one room at a time. And it will be paid off in 2 years.

We enjoy knowing that we will own this home free and clear and that lets us spend a little more on upgrades and personal touches. And we enjoy thinking through what we ideally want for each for each room. We love taking risks in terms of decorating, fixtures, etc. Every day we do something that makes the home ours and it feels awesome.

But we had to commit to a disaster and there have been times we have really wondered if it was worth it.

Edit to add: Bf is, and always has been a carpenter. A lot of risk we took was based on the fact that he can build walls, lay floors, fix roofs, etc.

[GeddyWrox]

Yeah, being handy helps tremendously. Unfortunately, I am not handy