People in the office / at work

[Molly]

Thankfully, I have a very good rapport w/all my co-workers.

Hell yes, you bring in Legrands sandwiches for the place, don't you?

Hershey's Miniatures.

[jim]

I go into the kitchen and some guy is rinsing out his coffee cup. He rinses it out nine times. NINE times! NINE! It's a [expletive] coffee cup and the stain is not going away. After rinsing NINE times, he proceeds to fill it up with coffee again. Mind you, he's wearing a plaid flannel shirt (heat index around 100 today) with skinny jeans and hipster thick rimmed glasses so I am already in a rage just looking at him before the NINE time episode even started. Take your coffee to your cube, eat your [expletive] kale and listen to Mumford and Sons or whatever the [expletive] is supposed to be cool these days.

Oh, and ladies, if you are going to wear thin skirts, sun dresses, nothing on your shoulders and sandals or even worse, flip flops, don't walk around the air conditioned office all day complaining how [expletive] cold it is. The other half of us have to wear pants, sleeves and socks. And some of us are really [expletive] fat and are hot all of the time. Go [expletive] off.

But it's after Labor Day bulldog. He can do that!

[Fat_Bulldog]

Within the last hour I got a request for some data needed for a presentation from one of the team leads. Timeframe given to get this together, 10 minutes. Yes, 10 minutes.

Basically this is how I interpreted the request:

"We need x data because we [expletive] everything up early in the year. Although we have access to this data via SharePoint, we are too [expletive] stupid to access it and make it represent anything meaningful. This is why we are requesting it from you and allowing you an entire 10 minutes to complete this task."

So I send it and get their message back (again, my interpretation):

"Why wasn't x and x explicit like we asked for?"

My response:
"Well, that is because you did everything ass backwards January through May and everything was an ad hoc emergency so that is how it was tracked. 90% of that was your doing."

Team Lead response:
"I don't remember that."

My response: Sending dozens of emails from Jan - Apr.

I win!

[expletive], people are so [expletive] stupid. Holy Mother of GOD!

[Freed Roger]

My last job, one of the reasons I knew I couldn't be long-term satisfied there was the bizarre secretarial/Admin Asst people they hired for the front desk, or basically the person that represents the company. From what I recall, here is the incredible run of characters they had there:


-The Taz's Girlfriend - In looks and personality.
-A mix between Roseanne Barr and Wendy from Breaking Bad (burn marks and scabs all over her arms)
-Jews for Jesus woman. she was hired as a temp, but brought so much personal [expletive] into the office, (photos, meds, plants etc) that it took her 4 trips out with it when her time was up. And she cried as she left.
-the New Divorcee - nice person, but just as dingy and unstable as could be -and not in a way helpful to me. Talked like she had marbles in her mouth, and very hard to understand.
-Peter Pan but played by a woman. I was walking up to make copies one day, and unaware of my presence she tilted to one side to let out some gas.


Can only wonder what sort of people my old bosses turned down when interviewing. I didn't realize how bad it was there, until getting around nice decent people that I work with now.

[jim]

I just ran into this guy at my office, and as I passed I said:

- Hey Joe, how's it going.

And he replied with a very upbeat tone

- Things are going pretty well.

And I wanted to reply back

- You know I don't give a [expletive], right?

The correct answer here was a robotic "Pretty good, and you?".

[tlombard]

One of my idiot friends has been trying to get me to leave early all day so we can hit the bar but I won't because I have work to do.

Well, I should say that I won't leave early while my boss is still here which brings me to the next part of my rant....

She's sick, threw up earlier BUT JUST WILL NOT LEAVE!!!!

Come on man, go home. People keep telling her to go but she won't. As soon as she leaves I'm gone. Or 5:30. Whichever comes first. The idiot friend finally just left at 4:30 without me.

[Fat_Bulldog]

It's so pointless having to play the game of sitting in your office at work while there is essentially nothing that has to be done for the day / you have everything completed.

If something came up, like a genuine emergency, I could respond from anywhere the same as if I was sitting on cubicle row. They don't hesitate to call me at 2 AM at home or on the weekends, so why should 2 PM on a Friday afternoon be any different?

[tlombard]

The thing is that I do have things to do. It isn't like I was sitting here doing nothing. I was actually working... which is why I wouldn't leave early when he wanted me to. He was trying to get me to blow of a meeting at 3 that my boss was in. I'm covering my normal job and another one until we can get someone replaced right now so I have no business leaving early just to go drink. That is what sick days are for.

She just left though so I'm shutting down as soon as I finish this post and I'm out of here. It is my normal quitting time anyway but I'm walking extra fast out the front door today.

And I was kidding about the sick day part. Most of my vacation time is used for day drinking for one reason or another though.

[planet planet]

I just ran into this guy at my office, and as I passed I said:

- Hey Joe, how's it going.

And he replied with a very upbeat tone

- Things are going pretty well.

And I wanted to reply back

- You know I don't give a [expletive], right?

The correct answer here was a robotic "Pretty good, and you?".

Here was my greeting into the office today:

Co-worker #1: "Sup biatch"

Co-worker #2: No greeting, just "Where is my bouncy ball. I know you took my bouncy ball"

Me: "No, I did not! Check co-worker #1!"

Co-worker #2: "I already searched him. He's been cleared. So where is it?"

Earlier this week, co-worker #1 was talking about going on a water park ride with his kids which was a straight vertical drop into the water.

Me: "That sounds like a power douche."

Co-worker #1: "For you maybe, but for me it was a power enema."

[jim]

I count three things in your conversation that would have earned people a trip to "the 15th floor" (HR) where I work.