Rant: Shyness/Introversion

[IMADreamer]

That seems somewhat more extreme, what with the hamster ball and all that, but seems basically on target with my own experience. Not sure how recognizing ones own introversion would change the desire and need to recharge by existing in your own head

I think this is something extroverted people don't get. I'm not going to be cured of it by going to bars all the time. I have friends that think this "oh you just need to go out more and kind of get used to it." That's not it at all. That stuff just wears me out. I like going and hanging out with my friends but not for a limited time. If I go do that say on a Friday I am just going to need some quiet time for a couple days other wise I'll be kind of stressed.

[33anda3rd]

Right, dreamer. It's like introverts can't understand why extroverts can't just shut up. It's not much different than anyone who is different than someone else--in like a polar opposite way--understanding the other party. You have to let an introvert be an introvert and understand that that is just them and not try to change them, just try to make them feel comfortable.

One of my partners is not cut out for what we do. He's quiet, introverted to the point of awkwardness, and is weird on the floor of our restaurant. It used to drive me nuts. Now I just let him do the social media, buy the wine, and go through the mail and run the financials. He's happy. I'm happy.

[docellis]

I don't identify myself as either but I agree with the premise that some people zap my energy and I like interactions on my own terms.

Nothing zaps my energy to socialize more than a bunch of people who are very loud and are wanting your attention/interaction.

That part of the cartoon resonated with me.

I love an extrovert. He says things like "They love me here" all the time - and I am so confounded as why one would care if people at a restaurant or bar or whatever loved you. But he feeds off having strangers love him. I only care to interact with strangers when they have something intellectually to offer me: humor, knowledge, something that touches my brain. I could care less about having strangers like me.

On the other hand, I have a weird and resolute since of fairness. I want strangers to know I am fair if in a social interaction - to the point of my own detriment. Basically I want a stranger to know I am fair but I could care less if they like me.

[JCShutout]

I think the graphic was right on target. The "ball" is just a visual aid. I teach. I'm in an extroverted field. People have said they are shocked when I say I'm an introvert because I am great at public speaking, in a crowd, etc etc. All that is fun but tiresome, and I go home and rest and recharge with silence, instead of recharging through going out to bars or shows or whatnot. Its all just in your energy and how you recharge.

Embrace and enjoy your introversion! I'm one, and so is my wife. Our house is so blissfully quiet most of the time.

[pioneer98]

Shyness is actually narcissistic.

Introversion is not the same thing as shyness. And I've met extroverts that are very narcissistic, too.

[pioneer98]

In recent years certain people have been promoting this idea about introversion and some people have felt the need to "push back" on it because everything needs to be pushed back on nowadays. But they raised some good points. Like, it's not just career paths that are set up to favor extroverts, but just work environments like cube farms also favor them. It's an inefficiency in the workplace. You aren't maximizing productivity if half your workforce feels uncomfortable.

I'm an introvert but for a long time, like into my 30s, I never understood what that meant. I knew that certain social situations took a lot of energy out of me, but I figured that was unusual and there must be something wrong with me. So when I discovered it was basically normal, it was a big relief.

I only get a "hamster ball" when I've totally run out of energy and need to recharge. If I'm prepared for the situation, even if it's speaking in front of a large group, I'm fine.

[Leroy]

I completely get this, I was terribly shy for most of my life. It was almost paralyzing.

My brush with death and the fact that I could either go at any time or need a major transplant completely changed me. I can walk up and talk to anyone now. I guess I just realized life is too short to live like that.

I wouldn't recommend this for everyone but it worked for me.

[lukethedrifter]

I'm glad you're not dead. I don't know about introvert versus extrovert. I do know that it is worthwhile to learn how not to be afraid to talk to people.

[pioneer98]

http://giftedkids.about.com/od/4/f/introvert_faq.htm

Consider two children in the same classroom, one introverted and one shy. The teacher is organizing an activity for all the children in the room. The introverted child wants to remain at her desk and read a book because she finds being with all the other children stressful. The shy child wants to join the other children, but remains at her desk because she is afraid to join them.

Children can be helped to overcome their shyness, but introversion is as much a part of a person as is hair or eye color. In other words, people can get therapy for shyness, but not for introversion. Not all introverts are shy. In fact, some have excellent social skills. However, after engaging in social activities, an introvert will be emotionally drained and need time alone to "recharge" their emotional batteries.

While therapy can help the shy person, trying to turn an introvert into an outgoing extrovert can cause stress and lead to problems with self-esteem. Introverts can learn coping strategies to help them deal with social situation, but they will always be introverts.