Corporate Speak

[Popeye_Card]

So we have a safety initiative starting soon that has an acronym--OEMS. And you know how acronyms go, everybody starts pronouncing them. In this case "ohmz."

Well our VP has expressly stated that we will NOT pronounce it "ohmz". It will be O E M S. Why? Because one of our competitors has a similar initiative that they call "ohmz". Same acronym. Letters stand for the same exact words. But we don't want to look like we are copying them, even though it isn't like this gives anyone any sort of business advantage.

[wart57]

So we have a safety initiative starting soon that has an acronym--OEMS. And you know how acronyms go, everybody starts pronouncing them. In this case "ohmz."

Well our VP has expressly stated that we will NOT pronounce it "ohmz". It will be O E M S. Why? Because one of our competitors has a similar initiative that they call "ohmz". Same acronym. Letters stand for the same exact words. But we don't want to look like we are copying them, even though it isn't like this gives anyone any sort of business advantage.

[lukethedrifter]

Call it weemz.

[Michael]

Last week I got a safety email and video on what to do if there's a mass shooting.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Last week I got a safety email and video on what to do if there's a mass shooting.

[expletive] run like hell!

[tlombard]

The first time we had a safety meeting on active shooters I told everybody in my group to just follow me because I'd be sure to get out of the place alive. What I didn't tell them is that the reason I would live is because I would convince them to follow me and then use them as a human shield.

[jim]

I have been sitting through vendor demo's for a project we are contracting out, two yesterday and I feel like I'm now on the cutting edge of corporate speak.

- Ecosystem.
- Can you use that in a sentence jim?
- Well yes I can. Suck my ecosystem.

Ecosystem.

[IMADreamer]

I'm not sure this qualifies at corporate speak or not but my Dad and I have been putting fertilizer on wheat today and he finished the field up got on the radio and said "well we made that field our [expletive]." That's about as corporate speak as it gets on the farm.

[jim]

You and your Dad do about the same thing as most business consultants do - put fertilizer on things.

[sighyoung]

This parody is actually a good imitation of the bureaucratic crap I have to deal with about rubrics and learning outcomes: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/rubr ... about-them