Well it's a well know fact, sonny Jim, that there's a group of the five wealthiest people in the world known as the pentaverate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers. And meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion known as, the Meadows.
Ah the Pentaverate. Col Sanders and his secret recipe that makes you crave his chicken fortnightly.
My sweet and wonderful gf brought me lunch today on the tractor. She's the best.
New guy at the farm recognized her from her past career. As we were quitting for the night he says "dude is your gf (blankity blankyblank)." I said yes and this is the last you speak of it here. I think I handled it well.
Her being recognized could be worse. My GF's' ex managed to find her and show up at her place last Saturday morning. He kicked the crap out of her. Yeah, that kind of ruined the weekend.
tlombard wrote:Her being recognized could be worse. My GF's' ex managed to find her and show up at her place last Saturday morning. He kicked the crap out of her. Yeah, that kind of ruined the weekend.
tlombard wrote:Her being recognized could be worse. My GF's' ex managed to find her and show up at her place last Saturday morning. He kicked the crap out of her. Yeah, that kind of ruined the weekend.
Jesus! Did the guy get arrested???
Of course not. The parking is in the alley behind her building and he managed to slip away through the alley in his car as the cops were pulling up out front. Apparently they didn't take anything seriously and just told her to go file for a restraining order Monday (which she did). She could have probably pressed harder and filed charges but she doesn't see the use in that. Sadly this isn't the first time she's been through this with him which is why she left him. If they don't see it, police just really don't seem to care and blow it off as if women are lying or something.
Saturday morning I had missed a call from her mom a little before seven. I woke up and saw the missed call about twenty minutes after I missed it but there was no message so I figured it was accidental or something. Turns out that when her mom called the beating was still going on. The GF managed to get a hand on her phone while he had her pinned down and hit the call button which called the last number she'd dialed, her mom. So her mom heard everything that was going on. She hung up and called 911 and then tried calling me.
Back to the police not taking things seriously. She'd tried to get restraining orders against him before as well and they never believed her or said she had enough evidence that she needed one. Well, she got it this time. After the cops were gone he started calling her and leaving her messages when she wouldn't answer. She played those and finally got the restraining order. She played them for me. They were BAD. He admitted beating her, threatened to beat her again and even threatened to kill her. It has taken everything I have to not go after the guy myself but that wouldn't help anything other than making me feel better. Although it would also just escalate things and that really doesn't need to happen.
I want her to file charges but I also get why she hasn't. It is terrible how the system treats battered women. Sadly this isn't my first experience with similar situations. It is the first time I've been involved with the victim at the time it happened but I've got a few friends who have been abused in the past and they all tell the same story about not being taken seriously and giving up on the 'man' ever getting even arrested and charged. Thankfully the other friends have been able to get away from the situation and are happy with good men in their lives now. Trying everything I can to make sure the GF ends up in the same situation... and hopefully with me. We'll see though. She has made horrible decisions with men in her past so it's already hard for her to trust and not run away but I'm making progress and being patient with her because I think she's worth it. Him showing up and kicking the crap out of her sure didn't help though. She's kind of gone back into a bit of a shell the past few days. I get it though. We'll see.
tlombard wrote:Her being recognized could be worse. My GF's' ex managed to find her and show up at her place last Saturday morning. He kicked the crap out of her. Yeah, that kind of ruined the weekend.
Jesus! Did the guy get arrested???
Of course not. The parking is in the alley behind her building and he managed to slip away through the alley in his car as the cops were pulling up out front. Apparently they didn't take anything seriously and just told her to go file for a restraining order Monday (which she did). She could have probably pressed harder and filed charges but she doesn't see the use in that. Sadly this isn't the first time she's been through this with him which is why she left him. If they don't see it, police just really don't seem to care and blow it off as if women are lying or something.
Saturday morning I had missed a call from her mom a little before seven. I woke up and saw the missed call about twenty minutes after I missed it but there was no message so I figured it was accidental or something. Turns out that when her mom called the beating was still going on. The GF managed to get a hand on her phone while he had her pinned down and hit the call button which called the last number she'd dialed, her mom. So her mom heard everything that was going on. She hung up and called 911 and then tried calling me.
Back to the police not taking things seriously. She'd tried to get restraining orders against him before as well and they never believed her or said she had enough evidence that she needed one. Well, she got it this time. After the cops were gone he started calling her and leaving her messages when she wouldn't answer. She played those and finally got the restraining order. She played them for me. They were BAD. He admitted beating her, threatened to beat her again and even threatened to kill her. It has taken everything I have to not go after the guy myself but that wouldn't help anything other than making me feel better. Although it would also just escalate things and that really doesn't need to happen.
I want her to file charges but I also get why she hasn't. It is terrible how the system treats battered women. Sadly this isn't my first experience with similar situations. It is the first time I've been involved with the victim at the time it happened but I've got a few friends who have been abused in the past and they all tell the same story about not being taken seriously and giving up on the 'man' ever getting even arrested and charged. Thankfully the other friends have been able to get away from the situation and are happy with good men in their lives now. Trying everything I can to make sure the GF ends up in the same situation... and hopefully with me. We'll see though. She has made horrible decisions with men in her past so it's already hard for her to trust and not run away but I'm making progress and being patient with her because I think she's worth it. Him showing up and kicking the crap out of her sure didn't help though. She's kind of gone back into a bit of a shell the past few days. I get it though. We'll see.
That's terrible. I feel for her (and you). Not that it helps in the current moment for either of you, but I fully believe in karma. That guy will get his sooner or later.
I'm sure he will at some point, I just hope that I find out about it when he does! Obviously this isn't easy for her to go through but as messed up as it sounds, I think I might be having a harder time dealing with it than her. This isn't the first time so she's a bit numb to it. For me, I spent all weekend alternating between rage and feeling completely worthless because I didn't answer her mom's call and wasn't able to keep it from happening. If I could, she'd have been out of that apartment and into a new one that afternoon... but I can't make that happen.
tlombard wrote:After the cops were gone he started calling her and leaving her messages when she wouldn't answer. She played those and finally got the restraining order. She played them for me. They were BAD. He admitted beating her, threatened to beat her again and even threatened to kill her.
Surely, that combined with the testimony of the mom taking the call, and any photos of injuries would be more than enough to press assault charges, wouldn't it?
Anyway, ugh. It's always depressing to hear how easy it is to get away with victimizing people like this.
Last edited by Arthur Dent on October 12 16, 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I will not go on a rant about useless cops I promise.
I'd go to the news with it. As much of an anti cop sentiment there is you can bet the news would love to question some cops as to why they aren't doing their job. Then the next time it happens, because it will, I'd sue the [expletive] out of the police.
Like the others I know that have been through similar situations, she's going to just settle for the restraining order and try and forget about the rest... and hope the restraining order doesn't just set him off and have him come after her again restraining order or not. That's probably the scariest part is that these guys are unstable enough that they'll kick the crap out of a tiny woman for whatever reason and the restraining order might just set them off even more. I want her to go after him with both barrels blazing but she won't do it and I can't force her.
I mean seriously, this girl is tiny. The other week she was out of town for the weekend and I was bored Sunday morning/afternoon and had time to kill before a friend's birthday party at my normal bar so since her apartment is just two blocks from the bar I went over to her place to be nice and did some laundry and stuff for her. I knew she was tiny but when pulling the clothes out of the dryer I couldn't believe that anybody actually fits into those things. She wears a size zero long in pants and even some jeans are double zero. I don't think I could get my arm through the legs of her jeans. I've never asked what she weighs but it can't even be 100 pounds. She never stood a chance against him.
tlombard wrote:Like the others I know that have been through similar situations, she's going to just settle for the restraining order and try and forget about the rest... and hope the restraining order doesn't just set him off and have him come after her again restraining order or not. That's probably the scariest part is that these guys are unstable enough that they'll kick the crap out of a tiny woman for whatever reason and the restraining order might just set them off even more. I want her to go after him with both barrels blazing but she won't do it and I can't force her.
I mean seriously, this girl is tiny. The other week she was out of town for the weekend and I was bored Sunday morning/afternoon and had time to kill before a friend's birthday party at my normal bar so since her apartment is just two blocks from the bar I went over to her place to be nice and did some laundry and stuff for her. I knew she was tiny but when pulling the clothes out of the dryer I couldn't believe that anybody actually fits into those things. She wears a size zero long in pants and even some jeans are double zero. I don't think I could get my arm through the legs of her jeans. I've never asked what she weighs but it can't even be 100 pounds. She never stood a chance against him.
Things like this disgust me. I have four girls, and I would be in jail if a man did this to them, I don't have your self restraint.
It suck's how little police can do in these situations, even with evidence.
My sister was sexually assaulted by a boy last December, but it was her word against his, and she didn't come forward until months later.
I am still looking at getting some Karma for him....
