Life changes

[Arthur Dent]

I don't know how the statement balance is figured. Some quick calculations makes me think that the $75k value is low, and maybe that value is her share of the current pension fund, but that pensions are paid both out of that fund and also out of future tax revenue not included in the balance value. The pension administrators almost certainly have an actuarial value, so maybe you can call and ask if this is something that gets supplied in divorce cases, or if you have to hire and actuary yourself or something.

Edit: If she's still working such that her expected first payment isn't for a number of years, the reported balance might be an accurate picture. $2k/mo or $24k/yr is not exactly a luxury retirement, so it wouldn't surprise me if your other retirement accounts are worth much more. Anyway, it's worth checking into.

[heyzeus]

Geddy, I'm sorry, but this is so far from the area I practice law, that I don't have any advice that I could reasonably offer. It may be worth a consult with a family law attorney, and offer to pay them for their half hour or hour of time. In the end it'll be worth it.

[GeddyWrox]

Geddy, I'm sorry, but this is so far from the area I practice law, that I don't have any advice that I could reasonably offer. It may be worth a consult with a family law attorney, and offer to pay them for their half hour or hour of time. In the end it'll be worth it.

Appreciate it Zeus. Totally understandable.

We actually did contact an attorney for this purpose. They said that if we use them for mediation and then decide to go through a more formal proceeding, they wouldn't be able to represent either one of us due to conflict of interest. They said it would be smoother all around if we could agree on our own how to divide assets and then they would just file the paperwork, essentially.

I would have just said yes, let's mediate through them but my wife thought we could do it on our own to save some money. And now if I insist on mediation she might think I'm getting itchy to do it the hard way. Sigh.

[Leroy]

I know a guy that can make these problems go away.

[GeddyWrox]

I know a guy that can make these problems go away.

[sighyoung]

Not sure if you wanted to say, @G. Keenan, but how's it going? Did you decide to do it?

Yes I did. I submitted my resignation and two weeks notice December 20, which was great because I wasn't scheduled to be back in the office until January 2 anyway. I offered to come in on the 2nd to return work property etc. and say goodbye, but they said to just drop it off in the empty office over the break. Cowards. Couldn't even face me.

It was fortunate that I got to spend my last two weeks with family, out of Chicago, and so got to kind of put some headspace and distance there as soon as I resigned. I feel pretty damn great about it. Yeah, I will get pangs of dread sometimes but I've learned to identify those as fear invading my rational mind.

I've had what I consider a few wins already. Firstly, I didn't want them to be able to establish a narrative to our suppliers about why I left, so at the same time I resigned, I emailed all my best vendors to say a very classy farewell and tell them where to connect with me personally. I didn't tell them the story of course, just thanked them for all their work over the years and told them how to keep in touch. They all reached out to me personally to say they were very surprised by the news, where am I going, and they would like to keep working together. Including a few I didn't expect to get that reply from as they are the longest suppliers to the business by a lot, going back to the mid 90s so long before I got there. They were also just very kind personally so that all felt great. One even remarked they thought I'd been the owner the whole time, lol.

I already have clients ready to give me business, and some have already reached out to me proactively on LinkedIn because they emailed me at the old company and got told I left, so they came and found me. That feels great.

Also managed to pivot from representing the company at a major trade show in Portugal I had set up on their lazy ass behalf, to attending as buyer on my own behalf. I just told the organizers who invited me that I'd left to start my own business and that I understood if they needed someone from my old company to still attend, but they didn't question it at all. Just said come anyway and update your details in the buyer catalogue with your new info. So that's awesome. That feels great.

And my old boss who founded the company and retired in 2015 reached out to say she'd heard through the grapevine I was leaving, asked what my plans were. She offered to introduce me to the owner of a big company here in Chicago she's been close with for 30 years if I'd be interested in working there. So I said sure, that would be great. Hopefully they'll get in touch and if it's a fit, I could pick up some hours there in a low stress way that will get some money coming in so I can feed that into the business instead of taking it out of savings, while leaving me time in the week to keep working on the business, building out the website, etc. I registered my domain this morning.

So I feel like I've started 2024 with some momentum, and it feels really damn good to be in charge of my own destiny, so to speak. I feel more positive, creative, and motivated than I have in a lot of years.

Thanks again guys for the encouragement and feedback. It means a lot. Hope this new year brings you all good things and, if you're looking for them, new beginnings as well.

Was thinking about you today after learning that the FTC declared non-compete clauses to be illegal. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/pr ... oncompetes

[G. Keenan]

Not sure if you wanted to say, @G. Keenan, but how's it going? Did you decide to do it?

Yes I did. I submitted my resignation and two weeks notice December 20, which was great because I wasn't scheduled to be back in the office until January 2 anyway. I offered to come in on the 2nd to return work property etc. and say goodbye, but they said to just drop it off in the empty office over the break. Cowards. Couldn't even face me.

It was fortunate that I got to spend my last two weeks with family, out of Chicago, and so got to kind of put some headspace and distance there as soon as I resigned. I feel pretty damn great about it. Yeah, I will get pangs of dread sometimes but I've learned to identify those as fear invading my rational mind.

I've had what I consider a few wins already. Firstly, I didn't want them to be able to establish a narrative to our suppliers about why I left, so at the same time I resigned, I emailed all my best vendors to say a very classy farewell and tell them where to connect with me personally. I didn't tell them the story of course, just thanked them for all their work over the years and told them how to keep in touch. They all reached out to me personally to say they were very surprised by the news, where am I going, and they would like to keep working together. Including a few I didn't expect to get that reply from as they are the longest suppliers to the business by a lot, going back to the mid 90s so long before I got there. They were also just very kind personally so that all felt great. One even remarked they thought I'd been the owner the whole time, lol.

I already have clients ready to give me business, and some have already reached out to me proactively on LinkedIn because they emailed me at the old company and got told I left, so they came and found me. That feels great.

Also managed to pivot from representing the company at a major trade show in Portugal I had set up on their lazy ass behalf, to attending as buyer on my own behalf. I just told the organizers who invited me that I'd left to start my own business and that I understood if they needed someone from my old company to still attend, but they didn't question it at all. Just said come anyway and update your details in the buyer catalogue with your new info. So that's awesome. That feels great.

And my old boss who founded the company and retired in 2015 reached out to say she'd heard through the grapevine I was leaving, asked what my plans were. She offered to introduce me to the owner of a big company here in Chicago she's been close with for 30 years if I'd be interested in working there. So I said sure, that would be great. Hopefully they'll get in touch and if it's a fit, I could pick up some hours there in a low stress way that will get some money coming in so I can feed that into the business instead of taking it out of savings, while leaving me time in the week to keep working on the business, building out the website, etc. I registered my domain this morning.

So I feel like I've started 2024 with some momentum, and it feels really damn good to be in charge of my own destiny, so to speak. I feel more positive, creative, and motivated than I have in a lot of years.

Thanks again guys for the encouragement and feedback. It means a lot. Hope this new year brings you all good things and, if you're looking for them, new beginnings as well.

Was thinking about you today after learning that the FTC declared non-compete clauses to be illegal. https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/pr ... oncompetes

Nice! Good job, FTC. Thanks for sharing that, sigh.

[GeddyWrox]

Signed my divorce papers today. It's actually a good feeling. This has been 10+ years in the making. We managed to stay cordial respectful the whole time while the kids were home. Daughter is heading off to college in August, so nothing keeping me here anymore.

Here's to the beginning of new chapters.

[IMADreamer]

Signed my divorce papers today. It's actually a good feeling. This has been 10+ years in the making. We managed to stay cordial respectful the whole time while the kids were home. Daughter is heading off to college in August, so nothing keeping me here anymore.

Here's to the beginning of new chapters.

Best of luck on the next chapter of your life!

[GeddyWrox]

Thanks @IMADreamer!