Addictions -drugs alcoholism etc

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Feel like I should put this here. Seems like over the years most people have started to lay off the booze or completely quit. I've made some posts in that time about struggling for certain periods and certainly drinking more than I should have.

After having kids, and when finances were a little tighter, I was able to really slow down and not worry about it. Slowly but surely, however, I started to drink more and more. It wasn't a big deal but I would always keep track in my head and make sure to not let things get out of control.

Back in June, I got lyme disease and things quickly spiraled. I think I missed about 8 days of work for hangovers from July to October. I couldn't handle drinks like I used to. Liver tests all came back normal, but something changed. So having 7, 8, 9 beers/drinks went from being not a huge deal to having a massive hangover. And, worse, I wanted those drinks like never before. And, when I started drinking, it was a decision to basically go until blackout. It was really weird. I was rapidly approaching the point of losing control. Drinking more often, drinking more when I did, all while having a lowered tolerance.

I'd always been scared of getting to that point of losing control because the only path out of it seemed to be complete sobriety which I really didn't want because of the enormous timeframe, the stigma I've got in my head, and the sheer difficulty of committing to that. But, something had to change.

I talked to a friend and he recommended The Sinclair Method. It's pretty simple. Take a medicine like naltrexone an hour before drinking. It blocks the endorphins/dopamine release. And, over time, the desire to drink disappears because...biochemistry. You don't get the chemical release/euphoric feelings. You still get drunk, but that's apparently not what's addictive. So, I got a RX and it was like $10.

I've been doing it for about a month and it's really odd. I've tracked my drinking habits and gone from ~50 drinks a week to ~20, a number that falls each week. Oddly, hangovers, even when I have 10ish drinks in a day, have completely disappeared. I just spent a weekend with friends/family celebrating thanksgiving. Even before lyme disease, these would always be booze fests day drinking while smoking turkey one day then going to grafton to the winerys and bars the next. Over 3 days, I had 15 drinks which may sound like a lot but shoot with people drinking 8-10 hours for two days straight, it's not even a drink per hour. I don't think I ever got legally drunk. Didn't even realize it until writing it in my diary. Makes me pretty hopeful for the future.

Looking at this thursday despite having a few people over, I have like 6 beers in the fridge and wouldn't have even thought to get more had I not taken them out to put the dry brined turkey in the fridge. Two months ago, I'd have made sure to not only have enough to get through the day but any type of drink I could possibly want so as to not have to leave and get something. That want...that craving is really fading.

I don't say this to say it works. Who knows. But, it's been a godsend for me. And, it's really crazy that its not better known. According to a book I read, well audiobook I listened to, it has a 78% success rate. I'm not sure what the criteria for 'success' is. The goal isn't necessarily to entirely stop drinking, though many people do.

[haltz]

I'd always been scared of getting to that point of losing control because the only path out of it seemed to be complete sobriety which I really didn't want because of the enormous timeframe, the stigma I've got in my head, and the sheer difficulty of committing to that. But, something had to change.

This is always interesting to me, because I felt the same way. It was overwhelming to consider never having a drink again and then you get down the road in sobriety and it's no big deal, in fact it seems ridiculous that I cared at all and scary to go back to something that was 98% downside. I'm also someone who writes cocktail menus and sells $1000+ bottles of wine, gets offered things like a 1945 Haut Brion and could not give a [expletive] less anymore. I have every excuse in the world to at least taste and you could even say I was professionally obligated but it hasn't hurt me one iota. In fact, I've had to memorize tasting notes instead of relying on my mediocre palate and make drinks for other people instead of whatever whacky [expletive] I like and am probably better off.

I talked to a friend and he recommended The Sinclair Method. It's pretty simple. Take a medicine like naltrexone an hour before drinking. It blocks the endorphins/dopamine release. And, over time, the desire to drink disappears because...biochemistry. You don't get the chemical release/euphoric feelings. You still get drunk, but that's apparently not what's addictive. So, I got a RX and it was like $10.

I've been doing it for about a month and it's really odd. I've tracked my drinking habits and gone from ~50 drinks a week to ~20, a number that falls each week. Oddly, hangovers, even when I have 10ish drinks in a day, have completely disappeared. I just spent a weekend with friends/family celebrating thanksgiving. Even before lyme disease, these would always be booze fests day drinking while smoking turkey one day then going to grafton to the winerys and bars the next. Over 3 days, I had 15 drinks which may sound like a lot but shoot with people drinking 8-10 hours for two days straight, it's not even a drink per hour. I don't think I ever got legally drunk. Didn't even realize it until writing it in my diary. Makes me pretty hopeful for the future.

This is used in injectable form in treatment centers for opioid and alcohol addiction under the name Vivitrol, which is a long release version that gives you about 30 days of blocking as opposed to daily tablets. For heroin users it's tough because they need to stay clean for about a week before it's administered or it causes immediate withdrawals that can be pretty dangerous.

Anyway, it's how I got clean. When I went in I lit up the drug test like a Christmas tree but what I was really after was the euphoric combo of cocaine and alcohol. They recommended I stay on the shot for about 18 months but I think I got it twice. Alcohol was always the first step down that path which was a multi-day bender where on the bad ones I would end up smoking crack or more likely meth when everything else stopped working. Needless to say it was getting pretty dark, but cutting out the middle man of having that first drink made it so the train never left the station. Didn't try and drink during those two months, was planning on quitting for a year and then things were so much better I made a longer term decision that I wouldn't have been able to without that runway of clarity.

I'm not an expert on this stuff, so hopefully I got that right in general. It's what I recommend to people who ask me, since it's tough to make that decision or even think straight when you're in the middle of it.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

This is always interesting to me, because I felt the same way. It was overwhelming to consider never having a drink again and then you get down the road in sobriety and it's no big deal, in fact it seems ridiculous that I cared at all and scary to go back to something that was 98% downside. I'm also someone who writes cocktail menus and sells $1000+ bottles of wine, gets offered things like a 1945 Haut Brion and could not give a [expletive] less anymore. I have every excuse in the world to at least taste and you could even say I was professionally obligated but it hasn't hurt me one iota. In fact, I've had to memorize tasting notes instead of relying on my mediocre palate and make drinks for other people instead of whatever whacky [expletive] I like and am probably better off.

Thanks for sharing.

I kind of found that if I commited to sobriety for an unspecified period of time, it wasn't a big deal for a while. But, after some amount of time, be it a week or two or a month or two, I'd start to get this craving. Even when I wasn't drinking a lot, I'd get cravings for a drink. Then constantly having to subconsciously make the decision to not drink made me short tempered. I wouldn't be in a bad mood or going through withdrawals or anything. But, if something irritated me, I'd just snap. And, I never committed to not drinking forever. So the internal dialogue was constantly there. Eventually I found it easier to just have a couple beers every now and then to avoid that. Weird stuff.

I've always found the further I went, the harder it got to avoid alcohol. The worse the cravings got. The more often I'd have to battle the desire to have a drink. I never went to any type of treatment, never looked into why I wanted to drink - unitl recently at least - or tried to find a path away from it. Though, for the first time, I do kind of look forward to a path of sobriety or a path where that desire isn't there.

This is used in injectable form in treatment centers for opioid and alcohol addiction under the name Vivitrol, which is a long release version that gives you about 30 days of blocking as opposed to daily tablets. For heroin users it's tough because they need to stay clean for about a week before it's administered or it causes immediate withdrawals that can be pretty dangerous.

Anyway, it's how I got clean. When I went in I lit up the drug test like a Christmas tree but what I was really after was the euphoric combo of cocaine and alcohol. They recommended I stay on the shot for about 18 months but I think I got it twice. Alcohol was always the first step down that path which was a multi-day bender where on the bad ones I would end up smoking crack or more likely meth when everything else stopped working. Needless to say it was getting pretty dark, but cutting out the middle man of having that first drink made it so the train never left the station. Didn't try and drink during those two months, was planning on quitting for a year and then things were so much better I made a longer term decision that I wouldn't have been able to without that runway of clarity.

I'm not an expert on this stuff, so hopefully I got that right in general. It's what I recommend to people who ask me, since it's tough to make that decision or even think straight when you're in the middle of it.

I think you pretty much nailed it, at least from what I found online. Mrs. AW wrote my RX which came with a pamphlet about not drinking while on naltrexone. She looked into it a bit but just trusted me to do what I thought was best.

I do think the scientific studies point to it being more efficacious if used only in conjunction with drinking. Basically, don't force people to change their habits, or pressure them to do so, just change it so they don't get the reward. And, instead of taking it daily, just take it before drinking. It was interesting to see that alcohol itself wasn't the reward but rather the brains reaction to alcohol. At least from what I gather, I don't know all that much either.

I did see all the warnings about not taking it if using opioids which wasn't a concern. I've never strayed too far from alcohol and if you exclude weed in extremely limited quantities, the only drug I've used over the past decade or so.

[haltz]

I kind of found that if I commited to sobriety for an unspecified period of time, it wasn't a big deal for a while. But, after some amount of time, be it a week or two or a month or two, I'd start to get this craving. Even when I wasn't drinking a lot, I'd get cravings for a drink. Then constantly having to subconsciously make the decision to not drink made me short tempered. I wouldn't be in a bad mood or going through withdrawals or anything. But, if something irritated me, I'd just snap. And, I never committed to not drinking forever. So the internal dialogue was constantly there. Eventually I found it easier to just have a couple beers every now and then to avoid that. Weird stuff.

I've always found the further I went, the harder it got to avoid alcohol. The worse the cravings got. The more often I'd have to battle the desire to have a drink. I never went to any type of treatment, never looked into why I wanted to drink - unitl recently at least - or tried to find a path away from it. Though, for the first time, I do kind of look forward to a path of sobriety or a path where that desire isn't there.

Everyone is different but I think I inadvertently made that sound easier for me than it is. It turns out that I'm incredibly high strung and spent most of my adult life until age 33 or so either intoxicated or hungover and recovering and never really realized this about myself, and certainly didn't learn as I matured how to manage it so all of the sudden the lights were bright and the edges were sharp and trying to figure it out on the fly has been interesting. Therapy has helped and being that way if you can manage it is not all bad, just a work in progress to focus it in the right directions and do things where it comes in handy.

[heyzeus]

I don't have a ton to add, other than to say: I'm proud of y'all. What you're doing is both very hard and very important. Here's a relevant gif from the best show of all time.