The guy next to me has a flattulance problem

jim · Post by **jim** » May 8 07, 3:32 pm

My work environment can best be described as "nerdy". The guy next to me is about 6'4", a big mop of curly hair, glasses from 1975, and a beard you usually only see on someone Amish. He wears t-shirts with nerdy sayings like "I can replace you with a six line shell script", often autographed by Larry Wall or some such computer "rock star" at a computer conference and shorts that were of proper length back in maybe 1980. He walks on his toes, kind of hopping up and down and swaying his head back and forth. You see four year olds walk like this, but it's odd seeing it on a grown man walk like this.

Nice, nice guy. Nicest you ever would want to meet and freaking brilliant.

But this farting is getting out of hand. He just walked by and let one rip, and seeing that big mop of a head bopping back and forth I wanted to strangle him. He sits next to me, and I don't think I have heard him ever do that sitting down. But apparently walking is a problem, he's long been known for this and now that I am sitting next to him I get to hear it twice a day at least.

The slurping of his tea in the morning I can handle, but this is another story.

JL21 · Post by **JL21** » May 8 07, 3:35 pm

This is the best rant ever.

Does he act like nobody hears?

jim · Post by **jim** » May 8 07, 3:39 pm

RC21 wrote:This is the best rant ever.

Does he act like nobody hears?

Yep.

Once I was in a basement type area in the building with a couple of other people, and he let one rip that echoed off of the walls and didn't skip a beat. Kept walking, kept bopping his head back and forth like nothing happened.

cardinalkarp · Post by **cardinalkarp** » May 8 07, 3:40 pm

jim wrote:
RC21 wrote:This is the best rant ever.

Does he act like nobody hears?
Yep.

Once I was in a basement type area in the building with a couple of other people, and he let one rip that echoed off of the walls and didn't skip a beat. Kept walking, kept bopping his head back and forth like nothing happened.

That's just weird.

omaha_red · Post by **omaha_red** » May 8 07, 3:56 pm

cardinalkarp wrote:
jim wrote:
RC21 wrote:This is the best rant ever.

Does he act like nobody hears?
Yep.

Once I was in a basement type area in the building with a couple of other people, and he let one rip that echoed off of the walls and didn't skip a beat. Kept walking, kept bopping his head back and forth like nothing happened.
That's just weird.

and funny

wart57 · Post by **wart57** » May 8 07, 3:59 pm

just start calling him Farty McFartpants.

Hudler · Post by **Hudler** » May 8 07, 4:18 pm

Slip a bottle of Beano onto his desk,maybe he'll get the hint.

StL Dan · Post by **StL Dan** » May 8 07, 4:46 pm

jim....this is absolutely the most hilarious thing I've read on this forum to date.

THANK YOU for sharing! And, tell your gassy colleague "thanks" for being such a zany character.

stlmark · Post by **stlmark** » May 9 07, 7:23 am

omaha_red wrote:
cardinalkarp wrote:
jim wrote:
RC21 wrote:This is the best rant ever.

Does he act like nobody hears?
Yep.

Once I was in a basement type area in the building with a couple of other people, and he let one rip that echoed off of the walls and didn't skip a beat. Kept walking, kept bopping his head back and forth like nothing happened.
That's just weird.
and funny

Oh, this is very funny.

Apparently, this dude needs to change his diet or hit the crapper more often.

Simbagal23 · Post by **Simbagal23** » May 9 07, 7:48 am

To quote Monty Python, "Always look on the bright side of life!"....at least he's not dropping any SBD's so you don't have any warning of the noisomeness cloud which may soon envelope you!