Morans Who Overstuff the Chipotle Napkin Dispenser

[Hungary Jack]

[sung to the tune of the "Bud Light Real Men of Genius" song]

(reee-aaaalll men of geniiussss)
Today we salute you, Mr. Overstuff the Chipotle Napkin Dispenser (Mr.OverstuffftheChipotleNapkinDispens-eerr)
Armed with nothing but determination and a mandate from the Chipotle manager, you cram 2000 logo napkins into a stainless steel box designed to hold 500.
(cram those suckers in there!)
Defying the laws of physics, you transform the napkin dispenser into a napkin Alcatraz.
(nothing escapes its clutches!)
Chipotle patrons pull, tug, and swear to no avail. They all walk away with measly shreds of brown paper, and a date with guacamole-smeared faces.
(Use your sleeve!)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Chipotle Napkin Nihilist. Because only you know that napkins are overrated.
(Mr.OverstuffftheChipotleNapkinDispens-eerr)

[JL21]

The same applies to the bathroom paper towel dispenser.

[tothebeach08]

Thank you for making me laugh today when I feel like I'm the only one at work (obviously not working too hard though). Our cleaning people do that with the papertowels, drives everyone crazy.

[jimedmondsfan]

thanks for making me laugh. I needed it! I think you should submit that one to Anhueser-Busch...

[G. Keenan]

HJ, do you have a preferred burrito wrapper at your Chipotle? My guy is an artist. No matter what the front of the assembly line throws at him, too much rice, too many beans, he can perfectly wrap it every time.

I hate when I walk in and see he's not there. I know some rookie is going to screw up my burrito so that the middle bursts out, or the end comes undone.

[TimeForGuinness]

That was amazing HJ!

[Hungary Jack]

HJ, do you have a preferred burrito wrapper at your Chipotle? My guy is an artist. No matter what the front of the assembly line throws at him, too much rice, too many beans, he can perfectly wrap it every time.

I hate when I walk in and see he's not there. I know some rookie is going to screw up my burrito so that the middle bursts out, or the end comes undone.

There are some guapas (hotties) who, er um, wrap my burritos. It seems fairly regularly that I am finishing off my burrito with a fork, because it has exploded about halfway through the consumption process.

[G. Keenan]

HJ, do you have a preferred burrito wrapper at your Chipotle? My guy is an artist. No matter what the front of the assembly line throws at him, too much rice, too many beans, he can perfectly wrap it every time.

I hate when I walk in and see he's not there. I know some rookie is going to screw up my burrito so that the middle bursts out, or the end comes undone.

There are some guapas (hotties) who, er um, wrap my burritos. It seems fairly regularly that I am finishing off my burrito with a fork, because it has exploded about halfway through the consumption process.

That would make me feel very conflicted. Ultimately I have to side with wrapping it right. I hate when it falls apart.