Introspection

[lukethedrifter]

I'm going to have to go against the flow and tell you that you need to quit drinking ASAP. And unless your goal is to be a tragic figure you need to figure out how to change your outlook and put together a plan to get mentally and emotionally healthy. Better to listen to Elliot Smith than to share his fate.

Hmm...is it bad that I've never even heard of Elliot Smith?

And nah; I'm in control of the drinking and I'd probably be worse without it.

Of course you are and of course you would. Drink up.

[haltz]

maybe if you stopped putting the [expletive] on a pedestal. It's like you're making the [expletive] into this big greek goddess named Pussalia.

[Cronos]

Of course you are and of course you would. Drink up.

I detect hostility. Not sure what that's about. Oh well. *shrugs*

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To all: Sorry for going emo a bit in the rants section. I figured that was allowed here, and I figured it'd been long enough since my last similar post that it wouldn't sound overly whiny. Guess I was wrong. Really I know what I need, just some self-esteem. And I know what's keeping me from having it, I just haven't managed it yet.

Kyle has his version of drunk posts, and I have mine.


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maybe if you stopped putting the [expletive] on a pedestal...

Except that's exactly where it belongs, metaphorically speaking of course.

[haltz]

To all: Sorry for going emo a bit in the rants section. I figured that was allowed here, and I figured it'd been long enough since my last similar post that it wouldn't sound overly whiny. Guess I was wrong.

Oh please. People are either trying to help or to be funny. Don't be so apologetic, this thread is fine (to me anyway).

FWIW, I just felt like quoting 40-yo Virgin because I swear people have quoted it to you before and I found it amusing. And Luke is being sarcastic because you said what everyone would say. I doubt it was hostile.

[Cronos]

FWIW, I just felt like quoting 40-yo Virgin because I swear people have quoted it to you before and I found it amusing.

Oh, they have. And everytime I hear it/read it it gets more annoying. I hate that [expletive] movie. Most depressing film I've ever seen.

[dangerous]

Cronos, if a lay person makes a well-meaning but insensitive remark, what determines whether you'd take offense or let it go? I'm thinking about Haltz' first post here.

[ThatGuy]

Cronos, I can empathize with you here. I'm far from the world's most outgoing person, and I tend to forget too easily that I'm a nice, interesting and funny guy ( ) who can get along with just about anybody given the proper chance. I still struggle with thinking too much about the opinions of others (most people probably do, whether they admit it or not), but after moving a few years ago and being forced to adjust to a foreign environment, I'm much better at being comfortable in my own skin. I over analyze my life most of the time, but I'm slowly edging toward the point where things that may have bothered me before are becoming minor bumps in the road. All of this probably sounds very cliché and lame, and I know it is MUCH easier said than done, but you seem totally capable of getting past this.

As an aside, if you ever want a quick way to forget your fear of being in front of large groups of people, become a tour guide. I'm usually not keen on being the center of attention, but after conducting groups of 20 to 40 people on two-hour tours of my university's campus for a few months, public speaking is my friend.

[haltz]

Meh, if that was offensive then I apologize. I thought the "grow up" and "stop acting like a girl" parts were obviously intentionally over-the-top. That's probable better left for someone I know in real life that says something like that at a bar and it's easier to convey tone.

[Cronos]

Cronos, if a lay person makes a well-meaning but insensitive remark, what determines whether you'd take offense or let it go? I'm thinking about Haltz' first post here.

I've been at work all day, and missed when he first posted it. So at first when I read it and didn't see his later explanation about it, I was taken aback by it quite a bit, mainly because I've heard a similar thing from many other people who have never been in my position nor have ever been through what I've been through. Most people (manifesting by a certain age) are born with self-esteem and self-confidence. Some are not.

So to answer your question: Without seeing his later explanation of it, culling what I know of Haltz, I would figure that he would intend the best with his response, but might not get that he's being an insensitve asshat. Then again, since this is the typical response I get from people(mostly guys) who have never been in my situation and who are being completely serious with their callous remarks to whom I've approached with this problem, I wouldn't think much about it and try to ignore it in the end.

Why do you ask?

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As an aside, if you ever want a quick way to forget your fear of being in front of large groups of people, become a tour guide. I'm usually not keen on being the center of attention, but after conducting groups of 20 to 40 people on two-hour tours of my university's campus for a few months, public speaking is my friend.

I know this is going to sound unbelievable, but I have no problem speaking/performing in front of a large group of people. I've played the violin and sang(both of which from age 6 to the present) throughout the majority of my life, and apart from a few times where I was nervous as a kid, I don't have any problem with it. It's not social anxiety as far as I can tell; from what my research has shown me, it's more an AVPD thing. Research in that area has not provided many answers, unfortunately; it affects such a small percentage of the population that it hasn't merited much research.

[dangerous]

Meh, if that was offensive then I apologize. I thought the "grow up" and "stop acting like a girl" parts were obviously intentionally over-the-top. That's probable better left for someone I know in real life that says something like that at a bar and it's easier to convey tone.

I'm not criticizing you, it had potential to get a different response.