Girls

[docellis]

You guys got in a fight, didn't speak for a little while - then, once you agreed to just be friends (like she said she wanted all along) - things were fine again.

But it seems like she keeps acting like things are "more than friends", either that or Kyle is just misinterpriting things.

I'm not sure going out w/ this girls parents is typical just met we're friends behavior but then again she may think that since they're "just friends" that its no big deal that he's out to eat w/ her parents.

In any case, tell her how you feel.

I think she thinks of him sort of as a girlfriend type of friend. She wouldn't keep pushing him away or hitting on his friends if she wanted him like that, imo.

[TheoSqua]

You guys got in a fight, didn't speak for a little while - then, once you agreed to just be friends (like she said she wanted all along) - things were fine again.

But it seems like she keeps acting like things are "more than friends", either that or Kyle is just misinterpriting things.

I'm not sure going out w/ this girls parents is typical just met we're friends behavior but then again she may think that since they're "just friends" that its no big deal that he's out to eat w/ her parents.

In any case, tell her how you feel.

I think she thinks of him sort of as a girlfriend type of friend. She wouldn't keep pushing him away or hitting on his friends if she wanted him like that, imo.

For the guy, that's like the absolute worst situation to be in. I get the dreaded "you're like a brother to me" comment more than I'd like to admit.

[cardinalkarp]

You guys got in a fight, didn't speak for a little while - then, once you agreed to just be friends (like she said she wanted all along) - things were fine again.

But it seems like she keeps acting like things are "more than friends", either that or Kyle is just misinterpriting things.

I'm not sure going out w/ this girls parents is typical just met we're friends behavior but then again she may think that since they're "just friends" that its no big deal that he's out to eat w/ her parents.

In any case, tell her how you feel.

I think she thinks of him sort of as a girlfriend type of friend. She wouldn't keep pushing him away or hitting on his friends if she wanted him like that, imo.

Soooo, you're saying he's in the "friend zone". Not good.

[tothebeach08]

It's possible she's not sure herself how she feels. Maybe she only wanted him as a friend at one point and has since changed her mind. He will never know if he doesn't just talk to her. They are young. Don't you guys remember that time of your lives when you changed your mind every time you turned around because everything your feeling, your feeling for the first time and more intensely than at any other time of your life.

[docellis]

It's possible she's not sure herself how she feels. Maybe she only wanted him as a friend at one point and has since changed her mind. He will never know if he doesn't just talk to her. They are young. Don't you guys remember that time of your lives when you changed your mind every time you turned around because everything your feeling, your feeling for the first time and more intensely than at any other time of your life.

It is possible, sure. But he already talked to her and it turned into a fight and she ended up getting what she wanted in the first place - friendship.

I hope she changed her mind and is madly in love with him - but I honestly think if that was the case he would know it without having to "talk to her" about it...or, for that matter, rant about it.

[Socnorb11]

You guys got in a fight, didn't speak for a little while - then, once you agreed to just be friends (like she said she wanted all along) - things were fine again.

But it seems like she keeps acting like things are "more than friends", either that or Kyle is just misinterpriting things.

I'm not sure going out w/ this girls parents is typical just met we're friends behavior but then again she may think that since they're "just friends" that its no big deal that he's out to eat w/ her parents.

In any case, tell her how you feel.

I think she thinks of him sort of as a girlfriend type of friend. She wouldn't keep pushing him away or hitting on his friends if she wanted him like that, imo.

Soooo, you're saying he's in the "friend zone". Not good.

Either that or she thinks Kyle's gay.

[tothebeach08]

It's possible she's not sure herself how she feels. Maybe she only wanted him as a friend at one point and has since changed her mind. He will never know if he doesn't just talk to her. They are young. Don't you guys remember that time of your lives when you changed your mind every time you turned around because everything your feeling, your feeling for the first time and more intensely than at any other time of your life.

It is possible, sure. But he already talked to her and it turned into a fight and she ended up getting what she wanted in the first place - friendship.

I hope she changed her mind and is madly in love with him - but I honestly think if that was the case he would know it without having to "talk to her" about it...or, for that matter, rant about it.

Maybe, maybe not. I know 50 year old guys who can't figure out something like this. It's my understanding they are really young. All these kind of experiences end up helping you later in life. If it ends up he has misread all these recent signals, then he's just back where he was - friends.

[JCShutout]

I say go for it Kyle.

Better to have love and lost, than to listen to an album by Olivia Newton John.

FTFY

[ThatGuy]

During my senior year of high school, I really liked a girl that I got to know through our newspaper class. We spent a lot of time together (both inside and outside of school) and eventually became good friends. The more I got to know her, the more I liked her. Prom came around, and when I hadn't asked her to go with me for a week or so after tickets went on sale, even my teachers started to give me hell about it - it was obvious to everybody who knew us that there was potential for something beyond just a friendship. We did end up going to prom, and on that same night, our parents (hers and mine) randomly decided to have dinner together. Well, I got home the next day and told my family what a great time I had, and my mom went on and on about how great this girl's parents were - if I remember right, she said something along the lines of, "You have my full permission to marry her." So, basically it seemed like everything was going extremely well.

To my great surprise, the day after prom, I learned that she broke up with her boyfriend (he's a few years older and goes to college a few hours away from Knoxville - that's why she didn't go with him in the first place). In my mind, this was a clear indication that she liked me - a lot. But, instead of telling her my honest feelings, I gave her some time and space to deal with the boyfriend situation. Once I started hanging out with her more regularly again, I noticed that she was really spending a lot of time with another guy who she only got to know because he was in our group at prom - they never really spoke before that, despite being at the same school. She pretty much ignored me whenever he was around, and I couldn't for the life of me decide how she could go from hot to cold in a matter of days. It bothered me so much that I essentially stopped talking with her.

The rest of the story is basically this: we didn't talk much that summer, she went off to college in Nashville in the fall, and ever since then my relationship with her just hasn't been the same. A lot of the advice offered in this thread makes sense to me, because I think both of us avoided saying what we really wanted to say, and the resulting confusion messed up something I had almost been certain was going to happen.

Sorry for going off on my own tangent here, but in the above situation, I'd give my left arm to be able to go back and just tell her what I was really thinking. I never did that, and I regret it. You should tell this girl what you're telling us to relieve yourself of the stress. I know it's easier said than done (I obviously failed), but it's the only way to find the answers to your questions.

[Bo Hart]

Why is she moving?

She goes to school down there.

She wanted to be friends, have fun, no relationship, nothing serious.
You wanted more.
She was hot for your friend, did not want anything serious with you.
You wanted more.

This is probably the most accurate way I can describe it (and for the record, before we started hanging out, I made it abundantly clear that I liked her):

We initially started hanging out under the precaution that she didn't want anything serious. I didn't really like her that way, and so I pursued something more; the results were positive. Instead of doing fling-y things, we did relationship-y things. However, there was one big drawback: the relationship wasn't exclusive, and so she still tried (but failed) to hang out with my buddy.

Before I continue, let me explain where the ambivalence comes into play for me: on one hand, if she didn't view me as a potential boyfriend, I really don't think she would have acted the way she did. After all, being in a fling and having a boyfriend are radically different things, right? If she knew she wanted one and not the other, I don't think she would have been so receptive, don't think she would have continually hung out with me, and don't think she would have reciprocated the relationship-esque feelings. On the other hand, if she did view me as a potential boyfriend, why did she continue to try and hang out with my buddy, despite me explicitly asking her not to? Is there anything naive about this paragraph? I think it's a perfectly reasonable assessment.

So anyway, the whole love triangle thing with my buddy coming into play was too much for me, and so it culminated in a fight between me and her and we stopped hanging out. I went from being crazy about her to not hanging out with her at all. I was over her. I was very hesitant to hang out with her again, and so although she approached me a couple of times to hang get together, I rejected. Eventually, she offered an apology, I accepted, and invited her over just as friends.

Since then, we've hung out a few times, but it feels eerily similar to the way things were before. She's acting very similar to the way she was before the fight. Now you could reason that she was just being friendly before and, similarly, is just being friendly now. There's a reason I'll dispute that, though: she outright told me that it felt like we were sorta-dating during the first go-round; in other words, there is mutual agreement on both of our parts that's it what we had the first time.