R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

The forum for ranting, raving, complaining and praising
Post Reply
User avatar
tothebeach08
All-Star
Posts: 1564
Joined: January 10 08, 2:52 pm
Location: In My Happy Place

R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by tothebeach08 »

Since I"m working on Bud Light Lime #5, I feel sufficiently numb enough to purge myself of the details of my day, not that anyone cares, but it will make me feel better and I really don't care anyway. So my Dad is in the Hospital and being the good daughter I am, I'm trying to help keep up with their 5 acres of lawn care. I already broke one of their weedeaters, but another has taken it's place. I get it out of the box, plug it in, and the nylon thread whips across my legs taking my skin with it. I throw it down, pick it up, and do it again. This time taking skin off the tops of my feet because I am, of course, weedeating in my swimming suit and flip flops (doesn't everyone). Finally figure out that I have to hold the thing way far away because the nylon string things are like 12" long and there are 2 of them. Soon it stops working I turn it upside down and see that the strings are now wrapped around the metal thing in the middle like 500 times. I try to unwind them but they are melted into one big blob. The weedeater takes a flying trip across the yard. Luckily the fridge is stocked with BLL, the pool is calling me. Five acres gives lots of privacy, no one else is home, so off goes the swimming suit and into the water. Absolute heaven. Nothing like sun, BLL, and naked skin in a giant warm pool of water.
So at this time I will share with you that 3 weeks ago I filed for divorce (this will be a separate rant at a later time). I knew the whole time the weedeater thing was going on that somewhere my soon to be ex was holding a voo doo doll laughing his hairy butt off. But here's the thing. I now have this awesome all over tan and he will NEVER see it. HA!

User avatar
dangerous
Perennial All-Star
Posts: 4320
Joined: October 3 06, 12:33 am
Location: 605 Freeway at 91

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by dangerous »

You will be banned if you don't supply pictures.

User avatar
Transmogrified Tiger
Puppy Murderer
Posts: 9323
Joined: April 25 06, 6:07 pm
Location: Across the River

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by Transmogrified Tiger »

So you bled in your dad's pool?

User avatar
G. Keenan
Sucking on the Rally Nipple
Posts: 23718
Joined: April 16 06, 6:03 pm
Location: Chicago

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by G. Keenan »

Oh this is going to be good.

Proceed...

User avatar
tothebeach08
All-Star
Posts: 1564
Joined: January 10 08, 2:52 pm
Location: In My Happy Place

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by tothebeach08 »

Naw, all bleeding had stopped before that and I hosed myself down before disrobing and diving.

Sorry, no pictures were taken unless that was what that helicopter was doing.....

User avatar
AdmiralKird
MBA, CPA, CFA, CFP, JD, PE, MD
Posts: 10178
Joined: March 7 07, 4:50 pm
Location: Tycho Crater, Luna

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by AdmiralKird »

You left out the part where your dad's gardener, Pablo, stepped out back for a refreshing BLL and happened to miss about an hours worth of precious mulching time.
Last edited by AdmiralKird on July 27 08, 9:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Hudler
All-Star
Posts: 2293
Joined: September 13 06, 12:02 am
Location: Fulton,MO

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by Hudler »

Ummmm,I can run a trimmer. :cool:

User avatar
ghostrunner
GOAT
Posts: 30870
Joined: April 18 06, 9:40 pm

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by ghostrunner »

You tell a good story, tothebeach. Nice little zinger at the end too.

User avatar
Hungary Jack
Mother Earth
Posts: 19536
Joined: July 24 06, 6:03 am
Location: In Cognito

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by Hungary Jack »

my mind is racing.

User avatar
Cronos
In perpetuum
Posts: 34778
Joined: June 30 06, 7:49 am
Location: St. Louis

Re: R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping

Post by Cronos »

Nothing better than skinny-dipping on a blistering summer day.

Post Reply