Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

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Cronos
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by Cronos »

It happened again. Tonight my Mother called me about four hours ago asking if I could give her a lift from the car dealership after she drops her car off for service(my father is having health concerns and wasn't able to drive). She called me about an hour before I was having a bit of a party(see the social thread, the finale of Mole 3 was tonight and I was watching with some friends). I had a drink and a couple of beers during the viewing with a large amount of food. Two hours after the drinks I drove across town(completely capable, not even the slightest bit tipsy) and picked her up, greeted her warmly as always. First words she says are: "I smell liquor. Do I need to drive?" and then doesn't say another word the whole trip back until I finally say something.

She claims it doesn't bother her or change what she thinks about me, but I know she's not telling the truth.

Were I anyone else, I feel like this sort of thing wouldn't bother me at all because I wouldn't care. But yet I can't get out of the childish, weak mindset of trying anything to not disappoint my parents when apparently there's nothing I can do to fix this divide between us.

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Maclowery
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by Maclowery »

Maybe it's because I am a drinker, or maybe it's because I have a terrible sense of smell, but I just can't get the "I smell booze on you" thing. I mean, I can smell a mean drunk, like when your buddy has had like a half a bottle of whiskey in the last hour and is belching, or something. But I'm amazed when people can pick this out. My dad got on me about it years ago on a next morning kind of deal, after I'd taken a long shower, brushed the hell outta my teeth, gargled some listerine, wore new clothes, and he still says he smelled liquor on me. Which is silly, I'd had only beers, not hard liquor, and for Pete's sake it'd been like 15 hours since a drink! I am still convinced he simply knew I'd gone to a bar the night before and used the 'smell' to harp on me for it.

Anyway, we can bemoan our grouchy parents in a week, right bro? Hah.

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Radbird
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by Radbird »

Cronos69 wrote:It happened again. Tonight my Mother called me about four hours ago asking if I could give her a lift from the car dealership after she drops her car off for service(my father is having health concerns and wasn't able to drive). She called me about an hour before I was having a bit of a party(see the social thread, the finale of Mole 3 was tonight and I was watching with some friends). I had a drink and a couple of beers during the viewing with a large amount of food. Two hours after the drinks I drove across town(completely capable, not even the slightest bit tipsy) and picked her up, greeted her warmly as always. First words she says are: "I smell liquor. Do I need to drive?" and then doesn't say another word the whole trip back until I finally say something.

She claims it doesn't bother her or change what she thinks about me, but I know she's not telling the truth.

Were I anyone else, I feel like this sort of thing wouldn't bother me at all because I wouldn't care. But yet I can't get out of the childish, weak mindset of trying anything to not disappoint my parents when apparently there's nothing I can do to fix this divide between us.
This will all get better when you move to Chicago. There's nothing like a little distance to change the parent-child dynamic (and I've now seen it from both sides).

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thrill
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by thrill »

Radbird wrote:This will all get better when you move to Chicago. There's nothing like a little distance to change the parent-child dynamic (and I've now seen it from both sides).
True story.

TimeForGuinness
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by TimeForGuinness »

break a beer bottle and lunge at them...they'll never question you again.

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ThatGuy
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by ThatGuy »

TimeForGuinness wrote:break a beer bottle and lunge at them...they'll never question you again.
You can always count on TFG for A+ advice.

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sighyoung
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by sighyoung »

ThatGuy wrote:
TimeForGuinness wrote:break a beer bottle and lunge at them...they'll never question you again.
You can always count on TFG for A+ advice.
Then begin singing "The Jet Song" from West Side Story:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exGJsv6Z ... re=related][/youtube]

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StatmanCrothers
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by StatmanCrothers »

well -- the fact that there is some history of complaining about the drinking adds some baggage to the anecdote...

but if someone came to pick me up to drive me somewhere and i could smell alcohol, i think it would be within my rights to inquire about their sobriety. it's my life at stake. its a reasonable question, and if someone asked me i'd say something like, "well i had ___ drinks over the course of about __ hrs, and its been ___ hrs since my last drink..."

in general i think it takes an hour to burn off each drink. so if you have no more than 1 drink an hour you are good to go 1 hr after your last drink. Legally, you are okay before that, you may not even go over the limit with 1 drink per hour.

most people are drunker than they realize... especially when you have come down from your maximum drunkness level to some lower level, it is very hard to tell how drunk you are. a general rule of thumb is that for every drink above 1 drink per hour, you need an extra hour to wait to drive. So 4 drinks in 2 hours? wait 2 hours after your last drink to drive. 6 drinks in 2 hours? wait 4 drinks after your last drive to hour. are we cl--clear on thish? :TimeForGuinness:

concerning smelling the alcohol, if you have alchohol in your system, you sweat it out your pores. like any smell that you are exposed to for a long time, you become at least a little desensitized to it... the brain learns to filter it out so it can smell other things.

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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by Agent25 »

My parents were in denial about my behavior in high school. They were always soft about when I had to be home. The only rule was if it was after midnight I'd have to call. If I wasn't sober I'd just get a friend to call to say I'm staying at his house.

They, of course, knew I was up to no good but they could never catch me so they stopped trying. I guess, they stayed off my back because my grades never suffered and I never did anything too stupid that they found out about.

I prefer their approach. It may not work for everyone but it worked for me. I learned from my own mistakes and I like to think I've turned out alright. I'm on track to graduate from college in May and have generally stayed out of trouble.

So, yeah, I turned 21 a month ago and it isn't wierd to drink around my parents who don't really drink.

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cardsfansince82
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Re: Parents that can't get over the fact that you drink.

Post by cardsfansince82 »

My mom always accused me of smelling like weed, but usually she was right. She pretty much let me do my own thing though. I wasn't one-tenth of the headache my brother was before me, I had a 3.98 GPA and I was the best baseball player in my school. So basically she didn't have a whole lot to get mad about and trusted me to make my own decisions.

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