"OK, and this is your resume I see? May I keep it?"
No I brought it for you to take a snapshot with your cell phone camera, since I'm a lunatic fringe environmentalist and cried when I made this single copy at Kinkos. Thanks for asking both of those questions (even though the first one seems like a statement, she said it like a question, made eye contact and waited for me to confirm that it was my resume, even though I had just handed it to her and said "here's my resume").
"So and so that you need to talk to is out scouring pumpkin patches with his daughter."
I stand there awkwardly while she stares down at the paper.
Me: "Um OK, well thanks for your time."
*dramatic pause on her part*
Her: "Thank you Phillip*, I will certainly be passing this along."
*I introduced myself as Phil, and she really hits the first syllable hard to boot. Basically I just got to meet this lady:





