mother [expletive] god damn

[docellis]

I lost my phone again

[stlouie_lipp]

Is alcohol a factor?

[Radio_Bugtussle]

Call your phone. Of course this only works if it's lost within the house or at someone else's house, not on silent and not suffering from a dead battery.

EDIT:
IF it's not in your house, it is possible that you might not want to know where your cell phone is depending on what sort of a Saturday night you had.

[docellis]

Yay! It was in my friends front yard.

[StatmanCrothers]

sometimes my phone makes me feel all funny in the pants.

[docellis]

I need daycare or a babysitter or something

[Tambourine Man]

sometimes my phone makes me feel all funny in the pants.

Pants? Pants? Pants?

What's gotten into you, Stat?

[StatmanCrothers]

sometimes my phone makes me feel all funny in the pants.

Pants? Pants? Pants?

What's gotten into you, Stat?

Well. Sometimes society dictates pants. I rebel when i can.

[docellis]

i ordered two mexican pizzas at taco bell (one for me, one for my sister) and the guy gave me one spork.

he really thought i was going to eat two mexican pizzas by myself....?

i called taco bell and demanded a refund on my dignity.

[Radbird]

Maybe he thought you were carbo loading.