UPDATED! Bernie and Gordo AND JOE STRAUSS ACK! Burwell TOO!

[Hungary Jack]

I know I shouldn't even read anything that Joe Strauss writes, because he is well-practiced at meaningless obfuscation and literally making saying nothing sound like something. But his latest installment of illogic makes we want to eat cigarette butts through a park bench:

Joe Strauss: The front office recognizez the value Holliday offered their lineup and the lack of alternatives on last year's free agent market. In a way, they called Pujols on his oft-stated desire that the club demonstrate a prolonged commitment to winning. The club has dropped hints that if Pujols is indeed determined to become the game's highest-paid player it may not be able to retain him. The Cardinals certainly have not offered Pujols a proposal exceeding Alex Rodriguez' $27.5 million AAV. The guess here is they may never reach that plateau. If not, something will have to give. Does Pujols' representation at Beverly Hills Sports Council -- or Pujols himself -- accept less than top dollar for the game's best player? Remember that Scott Boras represents Rodriguez. It would be hard for Beverly Hills and Albert's lead agent, Dan Lozano, to settle for a deal that does no re-set the salary standard. Of course, the Players Association is also acutely interested. Right now, I'd say there is more than a 20 percent chance Pujols remains. Ultimately I think he wants to play his entire career in St. Louis. But for the club to rely exclusively on that is extremely dangerous. It's been stated previously here that the Cardinals' best chance for signing Albert is before the 2010 season. That's not to say it can't happen later. But I expect it to become much more difficult.

In his defense, if you read through the article that this was in, the question he is replying to explicitly asks if the chances of Pujols staying are over or under 20%.

Later in his chat, he pins the odds of Pujols staying in St. Louis as 75%.

True, but reread his response. He offers a myriad of factors that play against Pujols re-signing. Then he says there's a 75% chance of him staying. It's like he's arguing against himself.

[Hungary Jack]

Mr. Burwell is now informing us that "Bradford is a Must."

[thrill]

Mr. Burwell is now informing us that "Bradford is a Must."

I'm really happy with my decision to quit the Rams.

[doe_boy]

Mr. Burwell is now informing us that "Bradford is a Must."

I'm really happy with my decision to quit the Rams.

++

[Hungary Jack]

I wish I knew how to quit the Post Dispatch.

[Freed Roger]

I wish I knew how to quit the Post Dispatch.

well you can stick with Telandar and company.

Sportswriters are a metaphor for life.

[Hungary Jack]

I wish I knew how to quit the Post Dispatch.

well you can stick with Telandar and company.

Sportswriters are a metaphor for life.

You are resident evil.

[thrill]

I wish I knew how to quit the Post Dispatch.

well you can stick with Telandar and company.

Sportswriters are a metaphor for life.

You are resident evil.

I'm reading Heaven Is A Playground right now, and I must say, it's superb. Didn't see it coming.

[obucard]

I wish I knew how to quit the Post Dispatch.

well you can stick with Telandar and company.

Sportswriters are a metaphor for life.

You are resident evil.

Freed's a zombie?

[lukethedrifter]

Here’s what Mozeliak had to say about the Lugo move, and my instincts were correct

Of course they were Bernie. Who would question your instincts?