Corporate Speak

[jimedmondsfan]

I am so glad you are all being so proactive about bringing this to the notice of the higher ups.

[mikechamp]

"...on the ground"

Definition: on a project, typically used when describing an understaffed project.

Example: "We don't have enough people on the ground at (company name)."

I'm not even a veteran, and I find this phrase offensive to veterans.

[TimeForGuinness]

Things I've learned at work from management...(sigh)

1) Never use the color red on a slide
2) You can always roll up the most complicated results into one slide...even if it makes the results totally meaningless
3) You can always be "educated" by upper management

[thrill]

Why don't you step into my office so I can download you on some things.

What? That's not even technically correct. If you are sending me information you are uploading it.

[Radbird]

"Net net, at the end of the day..."

[Dillagii]

Deployment is complete. Please perform smoke test and keep us posted the results.

What the hell does that mean?

[ghostrunner]

"Net net, at the end of the day..."

God, no.

[Arthur Dent]

Is there a more soulless and anti-human invention than the modern corporation? It's so strange that it has become the dominant institution of our times.

I'm fascinated by corporate attempts to fake humanity with things like the company song:

[/youtube]

or

(Amusingly mixed with ads)

[/youtube]

[Michael]

Is there a more soulless and anti-human invention than the modern corporation? It's so strange that it has become the dominant institution of our times.

I'm fascinated by corporate attempts to fake humanity with things like the company song:

[/youtube]

That's so creepy. Yeesh.

[Tambourine Man]

Is that real? My company does some cult-like stuff, but I don't know that we have a theme song. I've seen to many high-fives around the center...Once cool people were transformed.