Girls

[Bo Hart]

It would be so much easier to figure out if we weren't in a stage prior to this where we were dating... but now I don't know how to interpret the stuff she's doing. It seems like she wants to just be friends, but everything she's doing is so reminiscent of the way we were hanging out before.

I like her so much it's unbelievable. She renders all girls I've met before boring and mundane. I want nothing more than to just be able to move on, but she's so captivating and awesome that I just can't get my mind off of her.

Were you guys really dating before, or just occasionally making out? It seems like the way you two were "hanging out before" was little more than friends anyway. Didn't she rather unceremoniously go after one of your good friends?

Kyle, my man, I'm afraid you might just be seeing what you want to see here.

Well, I would definitely consider it dating -- or at least quasi-dating -- because she told me that it was "beginning to feel too much like a relationship" when we first stopped hanging out (and remember, she said she just wanted a fling). So the stuff we were doing and the way we acted was very boyfriend-girlfriend-esque. And contrary to the way I may have explained it earlier, the physical interaction was very limited -- it was mostly just a lot of intellectual fun. I guess another way to describe it was to reason that it felt a lot like dating from older times, when things were slower and more "innocent."

And also, as a matter of fact, she did tell me that she outright liked me back that way for a while, but that the mutual feeling eventually subsided... After we've been hanging out again, though, it feels eerily similar to the way it was before. Could it just be wishful thinking? Definitely. But that's why it's so frustrating, I really just don't know.

But i said it because i think he gets attached easily and if there were more girls to distract him maybe he'd avoid attachment...and i think he lives in a rural place where it would be easy to get attached

The town I live in has about 50,000 people -- this does not include the 13,000 student campus. So there are literally thousands of girls my age...

With that said, I don't find girls that I'm compatible with very often. It's honestly pretty uncommon for me to find a girl that can invoke genuine laughter in me, or who can hold an intelligent conversation up on par with me, etc... I'm not trying to sound arrogant or conceited, but that's really how I feel... To find a girl that can do all of those things (and many more) all while having interest back in me, only to have it fade away... it's... it's really frustrating.

[Socnorb11]

If she's leaving anyway, then that pretty much solves the problem for you, right?

[TimeForGuinness]

Just remember, don't fall for someone unless they are there to catch you.

...easier said than done, though.

[cardinalkarp]

you need to move to a city that has more girls.

Maybe. But I get the sense Kyle likes where he lives and a city may have more girls, but not necessarily the kind of girls he's looking for.

I should have said "imo". But i said it because i think he gets attached easily and if there were more girls to distract him maybe he'd avoid attachment...and i think he lives in a rural place where it would be easy to get attached....but totally imo and i am probably wrong.

Grand Forks is kind of a college town though. I believe there are at least 3 colleges there and University of N.D. is a decent sized school.

[tothebeach08]

If you have all these great conversations with her, why can't you just tell her how you feel? It's possible she's confused about her feelings toward you. She may not want to like you but can't help that she does so she's holding back to keep herself, and you, from getting hurt.

Don't listen to these guys who say it's not worth it. Caring about someone, and connecting with someone, is always worth it. Tell her how you feel, you have nothing to lose. In the end, you learn something from every relationship you have.

[heyzeus]

If you have all these great conversations with her, why can't you just tell her how you feel? It's possible she's confused about her feelings toward you.

Exactly. Confusion is a two way street; sometimes it may seem like girls are mysterious and elusive and in control of whether you end up together or not, but really she's probably feeling the same thing as you - confusion about what to do. Men and women just deal with it in different ways, but it's the same feeling.

[wart57]

Just go for it, crashing and burning is way better than never knowing. Talk to her, find out what she is feeling, if you guys are really that compatible, she is probably going through the same things you are going through.

[Socnorb11]

But she's LEAVING.

So what's the point?

[thrill]

But she's LEAVING.

So what's the point?

Sexy time.

[TabascoElvis]

You think you're done, but then they pull you back in, but then you still think you have a chance, but in reality you're just being delusional... but then they invite you to dinner with their parents which is incredibly suggestive, but you just pass it off and think you're just her friend, but you never really know for sure and are too scared to actually ask her what her true feelings are, so instead you just rant on Gateway Redbirds in the Rants forum via run-on sentences, and then you think, "hey this is the coolest girl you've met," just be audacious and tell her how you feel and ask her if it is mutual," but you are too much of a coward, and so you just continue to sit in between a rock and a hard place and hope you can figure things out before she leaves in three weeks.

That's how I ended up with my wife. Well, not dinner, but invited to a wedding by her.

But back then there wasn't GRB to answer all my questions.

You'll figure it out.