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There are strange things done in the midnight sun,
by the men who tort for gold;
The legal trails have their secret tales
That would make your blood run cold;
The Superior Courts have seen odd sights,
But the oddest they ever did see
Was that night in the sight of my assistant, Marge
I unlawful detainered Sam McGee.

stlouie_lipp wrote:OK, so my firm celebrates administrative assistants week in lieu of administrative assistants day. Well, the lawyers have been charged with writing a poem for their assistant. I am not creative at all...I need your help GRB!

So--what is your assistant like? What does he/she take pride in? If you were to praise performance, what would you single out? Does the person want to be considered a friend? A professional? Level-headed? Sane?

You could think of doing an acrostic, in which the first letters spell out a word, such as Thank you.

T
H
A
N
K
Y
O
U

And you could use adjectives to describe the person, with a short sentence in the final line or two. That's only eight lines, so not too hard to do.

A heart-felt prose poem would work. You can even create a found poem based on two or three sentences of well-written material.

You can also write a parody, but you'd have to choose wisely, I'd think. Keep things short, line up three or four words or images that you want to use, and you could put something together pretty quickly. A quatrain (four lines) might be just enough.

She's a very good assistant. She's about 30, married with a young son. She is extremely organized and detailed. Sometimes we bicker with each other but that is only because we work so well together. We get along good and I can definitely tease her. You guys have actually given me some ideas.

Be sure you bill your time for writing poetry to the firm-time charge code. This BS should count towards your billables minimum.

heyzeus wrote:Be sure you bill your time for writing poetry to the firm-time charge code. This BS should count towards your billables minimum.

Just a taste of small(ish) town lawyering, zeus.

Go to store. Buy a visa gift card.

Call you poem

Visa Gift Card.

Note how awesome you are that your poem is embossed on a small bit of plastic.

you are creative, funny, and you give a thoughtful gift that she can use.

(I would be [expletive] pissed if I got just a poem. gGve cash for all of the abuse that you heap on these poor assistants)

oh don't forget to bill that time

To dank oak chambers
You bear a bouquet of briefs.
Ah! Lawsuit season.


Pollen from law books
Powders your wool cardigan.
Such springtime dolor . . .


A springtime sneeze:
The receipts of my clients
Swirl like pear blossoms.


A mouse hears thunder . . .
Typist twitches to life at
the rainmaker’s voice.

sighyoung wrote:To dank oak chambers
You bear a bouquet of briefs.
Ah! Lawsuit season.


Pollen from law books
Powders your wool cardigan.
Such springtime dolor . . .


A springtime sneeze:
The receipts of my clients
Swirl like pear blossoms.


A mouse hears thunder . . .
Typist twitches to life at
the rainmaker’s voice.

yeah, that sounds like me...I actually wrote something very similar.

stlouie_lipp wrote:She's a very good assistant. She's about 30, married with a young son. She is extremely organized and detailed. Sometimes we bicker with each other but that is only because we work so well together. We get along good and I can definitely tease her. You guys have actually given me some ideas.

We need to know what she looks like, man. What she looks like!

Cole Burns wrote:

stlouie_lipp wrote:She's a very good assistant. She's about 30, married with a young son. She is extremely organized and detailed. Sometimes we bicker with each other but that is only because we work so well together. We get along good and I can definitely tease her. You guys have actually given me some ideas.

We need to know what she looks like, man. What she looks like!

She's cute enough. Doesn't look like this though.

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