Corporate Speak

[jim]

Is "manage expectations" now a catch phrase? My new boss, who is so full of Corporate Speak that I'm finding I can't hide or turn off my sarcastic side to him and will probably get myself in hot water, says this all of the time. He just called and left a message, hoping I would have my fy14 budget done by the end of the day and said: "Please manage my expectations when you will get your budget complete".

What is that? Please manage my expectations? I find this just bizarre. He's constantly saying this - "We have to manage Bob's expectations on the project XYZ deliverable". Oh yeah? I know Bob's expectations, and he wants this [expletive] yesterday. So how are we going to manage that?

[ghostrunner]

I don't see that as an odd phrase, except in the first example of how he's using it. It's just saying customers have to be aware of how long something is going to take beforehand. If you promise tomorrow, and can't deliver then they get pissed. Not so much if you said 3 days from now at the outset.

It's weird that you would ask for your own expectations to be managed. If someone said that to me, I'd be tempted to say "okay, you get it when you get it."

[wart57]

My co-worker and I have come up with our own corporate phrase - Good For You.

Good = Go
For = [expletive]
You = Yourself.

[jim]

He is so worried about using the right buzzword and enough of them, that he is at times incomprehensible. He spent his entire life in the business consulting world, and now is at a scientific research lab. Customers? I don't have any customers. Ok, I know, the old' MBA books talk about Bob down the hall being my customer because I supply a service to him and what not we have stakeholders and this and that. [expletive] that. Bob's a dick, and he gets his paycheck from the same god damned place I get mine, so [expletive] him. He isn't a customer.

I have been managing Bob's expectations for years, and Bob has come to expect nothing from me and like it.

[JackofDiamonds]

He is so worried about using the right buzzword and enough of them, that he is at times incomprehensible. He spent his entire life in the business consulting world, and now is at a scientific research lab. Customers? I don't have any customers. Ok, I know, the old' MBA books talk about Bob down the hall being my customer because I supply a service to him and what not we have stakeholders and this and that. [expletive] that. Bob's a dick, and he gets his paycheck from the same god damned place I get mine, so [expletive] him. He isn't a customer.

I have been managing Bob's expectations for years, and Bob has come to expect nothing from me and like it.

If I ever manage to get into/graduate from B-School, I promise I will never speak in MBA jargon.

[mikechamp]

He is so worried about using the right buzzword and enough of them, that he is at times incomprehensible. He spent his entire life in the business consulting world, and now is at a scientific research lab. Customers? I don't have any customers. Ok, I know, the old' MBA books talk about Bob down the hall being my customer because I supply a service to him and what not we have stakeholders and this and that. [expletive] that. Bob's a dick, and he gets his paycheck from the same god damned place I get mine, so [expletive] him. He isn't a customer.

I have been managing Bob's expectations for years, and Bob has come to expect nothing from me and like it.

If I ever manage to get into/graduate from B-School, I promise I will never speak in MBA jargon.

Unless you get hired by some consulting firm, where it is the norm and you would in order to fit in with your new colleagues.

[JackofDiamonds]

I'd leverage other personal human capital brand strategies to optimize our collaborative relationships.

[jim]

I'd leverage other personal human capital brand strategies to optimize our collaborative relationships.

So why do you want to go to Harvard business school? You've got it!

[jim]

btw - how do you study business? What is business exactly? I never really got what Business was. Is there any more nondescript profession than a Businessman?

"Hi, I'm Bob. I'm a businessman. "

Doesn't tell you jack [expletive] [expletive] about him.

"Hi, I'm Ted. I'm a plumber".

I know exactly what Ted does.

Business is just silliness.

[JackofDiamonds]

Do you want a real answer for the purpose of business school or should I just make a joke about it being a way to practice your social skills with a dose or two of business related quantitative analytics? Because... Well, that may actually be the best answer.