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Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 10:52 am
by jim
wart57 wrote:Dear Formerly,
At the beginning of time there was a big bang and then the universe was created and started rapidly expanding. From where did all that [expletive] matter come? A milisecond before there was nothing, and then BANG everything. How did that happen?
Signed, lover of big bangs.
Some recent strong evidence is point to some ancient civilization building this huge machine that crashed these little particles into each other. They may have cranked it up too high and .....
Then there was light, and the universe was born.
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 10:53 am
by jim
Joe Shlabotnik wrote:whiterat24 wrote:Joe Shlabotnik wrote:Dear (formerly) jim,
Today at work I was in a meeting with the other programmers in my department and had to make a presentation. I get sweaty hands when I have to get up in front of people and while we were all waiting for the projector to warm up with my powerpoints, I attempted to take a drink of my Mountain Dew and really fumbled it. I ended up catching the whole thing with my scrotum. Everybody laughed at me and I was so embarrassed I ran from the room, out the door and didn't stop until I was back in my mom's basement. I've been here playing WoW ever since.
Do you think if I e-mailed them the Scrote Holliday video and told them all to shove it they'd see how cool it is to catch stuff with your crotch and let me be the Build Boss?
You are awesome,
Joe
Are you 12? Who the hell drinks Mt. Dew?
The Dew is the problem! I SO get it man. I should, like, be drinking DIET Dew now that I'm out of tech school and mature and all.
Thanks dude - I'll let you know how it turns out!
You are totally AWESOME!!
Every celebrity needs a stalker. I feel complete now.
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 10:54 am
by jim
heyzeus wrote:Dear rat;
my dog can lick itself in places mankind cannot. That's awesome. Why does god hate us?
Why do you think yoga was invented?
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 10:58 am
by wart57
whiterat24 wrote:wart57 wrote:Dear Formerly,
At the beginning of time there was a big bang and then the universe was created and started rapidly expanding. From where did all that [expletive] matter come? A milisecond before there was nothing, and then BANG everything. How did that happen?
Signed, lover of big bangs.
Some recent strong evidence is point to some ancient civilization building this huge machine that crashed these little particles into each other. They may have cranked it up too high and .....
Then there was light, and the universe was born.
A "supercollider" if you will? cool.
If the earth is only 6000 years old or so, like the bible rells me, why is there evidence of a meteor or comet striking the earth aproximately 65 millin years ago in Chicxulub on the Yucatan pininsula? The math just does not add up.....
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 11:05 am
by Radbird
Dear jim -
This is really a question for mrs. jim.
Why Leroy???
Signed, Concerned
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 12:36 pm
by jim
wart57 wrote:whiterat24 wrote:wart57 wrote:Dear Formerly,
At the beginning of time there was a big bang and then the universe was created and started rapidly expanding. From where did all that [expletive] matter come? A milisecond before there was nothing, and then BANG everything. How did that happen?
Signed, lover of big bangs.
Some recent strong evidence is point to some ancient civilization building this huge machine that crashed these little particles into each other. They may have cranked it up too high and .....
Then there was light, and the universe was born.
A "supercollider" if you will? cool.
If the earth is only 6000 years old or so, like the bible rells me, why is there evidence of a meteor or comet striking the earth aproximately 65 millin years ago in Chicxulub on the Yucatan pininsula? The math just does not add up.....
The "evidence" is just the liberal left wing gothcha media spinning lies. Rest assured the earth is 6,000 years ago. It's pretty simple math really, just read the bible and count the years.
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 9 10, 5:45 pm
by Swatcat27
Dear formerly-jim,
Per research analysis, Brit Hume receives two turds in the mail on an average every week. I would like to know who is this other person.
Also, is any report that refers to a place called Chicxulub, be assumed fictitious ?
Sincerely,
Ardent fan.
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 10 10, 6:24 am
by AdmiralKird
Dear Jim,
Is there a G-Spot?
Signed,
Possibly-off-the-hook?
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 10 10, 10:05 am
by Hungary Jack
Jim,
Under what circumstances is defenestrating a neighbor an acceptable course of action?
Re: Ask (formerly) jim
Posted: January 10 10, 10:17 am
by jim
The answers to the previous questions are ....
1. Preperation H should work. Make sure you don't have butt cancer, or stop pushing so hard and just let it flow.
2. Rush Limbaugh
3. The bible clearly says that sex is only for procreation. Since a female orgasm is not necessary for procreation, it is a sin. All sins are created equal, so it's like murder. God has already put one apple on the female body, why would he put two?
4. Back to the bible again ... do unto your neighbor what he will want you to have done to you and him and likewise. So you want to be sleeping at 4am, it's fair to put him to sleep.