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Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 1 16, 11:34 am
by TGantz
We are rebranding a new logo. We are a non-profit spending money on all new swag, business cards, changing all of our forms, etc. As if we needed more B.S on our plate.

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 3 16, 12:01 pm
by JL21
"We need to find a way to have more frequent touch-base points"

You mean [expletive] talk to someone?

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 8 16, 12:48 pm
by jim
I am interviewing candidates for a new position, someone basically straight out of college. One of the candidates was weak, I was talking with a person on the interview panel who is pretty good with the buzzwords, and I asker her what she thought of the person. Word for word, she said: "I think he will work out just fine, but we may have to fire him".

Not making that up.

Get them out of their comfort zone with the buzzwords, and it's a comedy.

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 8 16, 1:27 pm
by Arthur Dent
jim wrote:I am interviewing candidates for a new position, someone basically straight out of college. One of the candidates was weak, I was talking with a person on the interview panel who is pretty good with the buzzwords, and I asker her what she thought of the person. Word for word, she said: "I think he will work out just fine, but we may have to fire him".

Not making that up.

Get them out of their comfort zone with the buzzwords, and it's a comedy.
Huh? What do you think she meant by that? Or is it a so used to using buzzwords to say nothing at all that you can't actually form a coherent thought thing?

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 8 16, 4:34 pm
by jim
Arthur Dent wrote:
jim wrote:I am interviewing candidates for a new position, someone basically straight out of college. One of the candidates was weak, I was talking with a person on the interview panel who is pretty good with the buzzwords, and I asker her what she thought of the person. Word for word, she said: "I think he will work out just fine, but we may have to fire him".

Not making that up.

Get them out of their comfort zone with the buzzwords, and it's a comedy.
Huh? What do you think she meant by that? Or is it a so used to using buzzwords to say nothing at all that you can't actually form a coherent thought thing?
She has a tendency to just talk nervously and this type of rambling nonsense can come out from time to time between buzzword laced periods, so I'm not entirely sure. If I had to guess I would say she meant that she thought he would probably do the job, but worst case we can get rid of him within the probation period. Really just a guess though. I just let it go.

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 9 16, 9:10 am
by UK
We call employees "Stakeholders" and our Human Resources Department "Talent Department".

I never understood the need for fluffy titles.

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 9 16, 11:55 am
by Radbird
Recruiting is now Talent Acquisition

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: March 22 16, 8:36 am
by Freed Roger
Not really corporate speak, but snake oil salesperson speak - the Pres candidates say it:


"....blah blah blah ...But I can tell you this."

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: April 8 16, 8:09 am
by Freed Roger
" circle back"

Re: Corporate Speak

Posted: May 6 16, 11:09 am
by ghostrunner
I'm going to say this is an extension of corporate speak. Siemens rebranded some branch of themselves as "Healthineers" complete with an elaborate song/stage production. I had roughly the same feeling I get whenever I see a leaked Scientology video.