Howard dies and waits in line for judgement. He notices that some souls go right into heaven, while Satan throws others into a burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, the devil tosses him aside. Curious, Howard asks Satan, "Excuse me, but why are you tossing them aside instead of flinging them into hell with the others?"
"They're from Oregon," Satan replies. "They're too wet to burn."
Re: IT's TEH sighyoung SuperHappyFunThread!!!
Posted: April 24 09, 12:17 pm
by KyCardinalFan
A tough old Badlands rancher once told his grandson that the secret to long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 26 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren... and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Re: IT's TEH sighyoung SuperHappyFunThread!!!
Posted: April 24 09, 1:22 pm
by obucard
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, & Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St.. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.
Patty had recently added special legs to his bar stools, which were the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood. All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front door.
They, too, came for a cold drink, and when they entered they were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw.
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their big habits partially blocking the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah... there are only 100 Nuns living there." The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana there are only 50 Nuns living there." The third guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Idaho; there are only 25 Nuns living there." One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and calmly said, "Why don't you go to Hell - there aren't any nuns there."