cancer

[planet planet]

Bunt, so you're saying she was fine at her last checkup and went in recently to get this news? Why did she see the doctor recently? I can't imagine getting that kind of news and what your mom and family are going through. I'll be thinking of you, hoping she stays in a positive frame of mind, and that she gets to be there at your wedding. Hugs!

[Radbird]

Again, thanks folks.
Sometimes it's easier to let my emotions out on a board than it is in front of my family. My dad isn't around anymore, so I'm kind of expected to keep my wits about me during this whole thing.
Mom did awesome last night. She has a tube near her heart where they've drained 1.5 LITERS of fluid out over the last two days. She also has a chest tube in where they've drained another 600 mL of fluid out in the last 18 hours. She's finally stable after a very scary few hours yesterday afternoon where I thought we may lose her.
All I want is for her at this point is to have a real chance to fight the cancer - which isn't going to be any cake walk - and the docs are working really hard to make sure she gets that chance. She's in better spirits today, too. She's been her usual witty, sarcastic self...which is a great change. Her only focus right now is getting to my wedding day, which brings real tears of joy to my eyes. I need to find a goal for her after that 11 weeks has passed!

You're right about the board - just putting things into words and sharing with anonymous friends helps me process feelings at times.

Sounds like she's a fighter so you better get that next goal figured out!

[GeddyWrox]

I feel for you. Lost my dad to lung cancer the night before thanksgiving. My thoughts are with you.

[Swingingbunt]

Bunt, so you're saying she was fine at her last checkup and went in recently to get this news? Why did she see the doctor recently? I can't imagine getting that kind of news and what your mom and family are going through. I'll be thinking of you, hoping she stays in a positive frame of mind, and that she gets to be there at your wedding. Hugs!

She went in last July and the only red flag was a dot on her liver...but they determined it wasn't cancer. All of this has happened since then. She smoked for darn near 20 years...quit for ten...and then started again 3 years ago. She had literally quit again on Tuesday.

You're right about the board - just putting things into words and sharing with anonymous friends helps me process feelings at times.

Sounds like she's a fighter so you better get that next goal figured out!

Definitely. My sister and I sat and talked about goal setting for her last night.

I feel for you. Lost my dad to lung cancer the night before thanksgiving. My thoughts are with you.

I'm sorry to hear that wrox. This is pretty awful, and I know lots of people have gone through this whole ordeal...but already I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


Mom did laps around the hospital floor today! Very exciting. We get the actual diagnosis tomorrow or Tuesday, so she's just going to try and build strength until then.

She's already decided to cut her hair to donate it to locks of love if she's going to lose it anyway...and I may be a very bald man on my wedding day! I told her I'll shave my head to match...but mrs. bunt's family and my aunt are offering to go halvsies on a nice wig if she wants.

[heyzeus]

Good luck swingingbunt. We're all on your side. If you need to vent or share, we're here for you.

[Fat_Bulldog]

Peace and good wishes to you and your family.

This is a good place to share/vent.

[IMADreamer]

I hope things turn out in a very similar way for you. Dying is such a part of life, but I think our society teaches us to fear it. Try to help her make a peaceful, love-filled transition if this is indeed her fate. Try to have faith in that.

This is so true and it's sad in a way. I don't want to make this about me but as I've said before my gf was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer late last year and basically the doctor said "there isn't much we can do I'd suggest quitting your job if you can and enjoy what little time you have left." It was crushing to both of us. A couple days later my gf during lunch out of no where says " you know what [expletive] that and [expletive] him" and I just assumed she was kind of going through the denial stage of it all but because she wanted to we got another opinion who sent us to a specialist and then there was hope. There have been some monumentally tough times through multiple rounds of chemo and a pretty big surgery coming up in a few weeks. Through this whole thing I've been amazed at how she has taken it, I mean she was told she was going to die, she knows she's going to die although we now know it doesn't have to be soon and may even be a few years. It would have been so easy to give up and let it happen, or to curl up in a little ball and let it take the life from you before you die. She didn't though and she's told me "I'm not afraid to die, but I'm not going without a fight." I'd admire it so much and it brings tears to my eyes just to retype it.

So I guess my point is death is inevitable and scary for everyone and those with terminal cancer are really staring it down. Those of us who are the care takers just have to give all the love and support we can to help them fight because with things like cancer every day you wake up and can be with your loved ones is a small victory. I think if you can show them that love you have for them while they are going through all this it helps them quite a bit. Not to mention you can create some really good memories of them towards the end. It doesn't all have to be bad.

I hope none of that sounded stupid and I hope you continue to share your thoughts and feelings on it all because it helps to vent it to people and it helps other to read what people are going through because it helps them relate.

I wish you and your family all the best and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Leroy]

None of that sounded stupid, and your girlfriend sounds pretty special.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Sorry to hear bunt. You're in our thoughts. Hopefully things work out for the better, but be sure to enjoy every moment with your family you can regardless of what the diagnosis is.

I just lost my grandpa to cancer and I know everyone was extremely satisfied with how his life ended, not that it ended, but that we were all able to say goodbye and that he was able to die at home with his wife of 50+ years. The doctors gave him til Thanksgiving back in September maybe and he made it to Valentines Day. So, not that you shouldn't trust doctors, but they're really just guessing a lot of times...don't get too discouraged one way or another over what they say.

[Swingingbunt]

Dreamer, that's an awesome story!

The other shoe dropped today. Diagnosis is stage four lung cancer...they've given her 6 to 12 months. If anyone will outdo that, it will be my mom. She finally broke down a little today...she's worried about leaving my sister.

We're making plans to get together as a family pretty often...gonna make the best of the time we have left and keep making memories.

Thanks, GRB, for all the thoughts and prayers. It's very much appreciated.