GatewayRedbirds.com

OK, seriously. What is it with men in the john that feel like they have to make quasi getting off noises while taking a leak? I've had some really good p!$$3$ in my day but never felt the need to make noises! Uungh. Aaaaaahhh. Oooohhh. For F&*&^'s sake! Shut up, flush, and get out. Wash your hands before leaving tho.

I want to kick them from behind into the urinal when they do that crap.

Reminds me of Southpark

Ned, are you jackin' it?
Yes.
Well stop it!
I can't!

Maybe they have a growing problem?

I want to disagree with this rant but I don't know of a SFW way to put what I'd like to say.

Go in the stall and do a wide stance.

If I've had to hold in a piss for a long time, it almost feels as good to pee as getting off. I have to disagree with this rant. However, I cannot stand stall grunters. Do people really try so hard to push a [expletive] out they have to vocalize it?

I would expect it in a truck stop where people are on the road and have to hold it in. But at work where you can get up and go any time it's ridiculous. To me it is equal to the overly exuberant bm grunters.

Go to a urinal, start relieving your self, then slowly back up six feet or so. Tell your co-workers that you are trying to create a rainbow.

It won't solve your problem, but you may get a nice severance package.

I could just start washing their shoes off, couldn't I?

The rainbow move is very underrated.

I can deal with the occasional noises but I can't stand when folks talk to me why I'm crapping, they are crapping and I am wizzing, or both of us are crapping. I am a man of few words and even fewer when I am taking a morning duece.