The way my brother in law argues...

[JCShutout]

Its very frustrating because he's ALWAYS looking to get into some discussion. We have very different personalities and worldviews.

He makes broad statements that imply a certain understanding of humanity, life, existence etc. and if I don't agree with his understanging of the world, and disagree with some of his premies, then he claims that I'm avoiding the question.

I think my understanding of the world offends him, because he'll start yelling and making personal and emotional attacks, then claim that I'm being defensive because I don't think that I'm a relativist, or because I am still a pacifist and I still think that dying because I refused to commit violence is more important than staying alive.

He explodes when I disagree with him for more than like 7 minutes. (but claims that he doesn't explode... because yelling, swearing and calling me names is apparantly proper argument protocol - and when I walk away when he starts this temper tantrum, I'm being cowardly and defensive. ... ??? No, I'm just tired of arguing the SAME EXACT THING every day).

We both have a very different understandings of the world that just clash, which I don't really care about, except that I feel like I'm always walking on egg shells because if I even say hello, he's going to try and finagle an argument out of me. He sometimes follows me around and just has this look, like he's ready to pounce on anything I say. Seriously, I say "hello" and pray that he doesn't want a long discussion.

I know I'm not perfect ether, but I'm getting sick of being told that I'm not understanding what he's trying to say (said in an authoritative way as if he completely understands what I'm trying to say) and that I don't use logic or examples in my arguments when I do (more than him, I've started just calling him out on logical fallacies because its one of those, he gets 3 minutes, I get 30 seconds type of discussions).

Why does he have a need for his understanding of the world to be universal. He recently rebuked me for engaging my own philosophies with a strong sense of uncertainty (I'm sorry that I dont' know everything at 24), and critiqued me for not being absolutely certain on everything that he thinks is important. (What if being open to new experiences and data is important to me. What it being able to admit that at best I'm dealing with limited information and experience, both biased, and that my culture and worldview aren't infallible? Why can't that be acceptable or important?)

Why is this offensive to him? Especially since he said he accepts the postmodern understanding of the world, but doesn't like it because it's too hard to implement. You accept it, so why are you pissed that I'm still trying to work with it? Does he feel like I'm showing him up or something?

I don't even want to approach him about being on eggshells because it will develop into another argument.

Maybe I just have trouble because you can't dialogue with someone who isn't open-minded. I have taken a more dialogical approach with people over the past few months (as best I'm trying), instead of yelling at each other from different cultures, trying to explore what experiences make us both think the way we do. Usually, it helps both parties better understand the other position, and makes for better relationships in most of my experiences...

maybe I'm frustrated because I don't think you can dialogue (a true dialogue) with someone who isn't open-minded, and I hate the fact that down deep, I'm starting to think that my brother in law isn't open-minded.

He's also constantly trying to get me into his anime and tv shows. I don't want to watch. Why can't you live with that?

[wart57]

Its very frustrating because he's ALWAYS looking to get into some discussion. We have very different personalities and worldviews.

He makes broad statements that imply a certain understanding of humanity, life, existence etc. and if I don't agree with his understanging of the world, and disagree with some of his premies, then he claims that I'm avoiding the question.

I think my understanding of the world offends him, because he'll start yelling and making personal and emotional attacks, then claim that I'm being defensive because I don't think that I'm a relativist, or because I am still a pacifist and I still think that dying because I refused to commit violence is more important than staying alive.

He explodes when I disagree with him for more than like 7 minutes. (but claims that he doesn't explode... because yelling, swearing and calling me names is apparantly proper argument protocol - and when I walk away when he starts this temper tantrum, I'm being cowardly and defensive. ... ??? No, I'm just tired of arguing the SAME EXACT THING every day).

We both have a very different understandings of the world that just clash, which I don't really care about, except that I feel like I'm always walking on egg shells because if I even say hello, he's going to try and finagle an argument out of me. He sometimes follows me around and just has this look, like he's ready to pounce on anything I say. Seriously, I say "hello" and pray that he doesn't want a long discussion.

I know I'm not perfect ether, but I'm getting sick of being told that I'm not understanding what he's trying to say (said in an authoritative way as if he completely understands what I'm trying to say) and that I don't use logic or examples in my arguments when I do (more than him, I've started just calling him out on logical fallacies because its one of those, he gets 3 minutes, I get 30 seconds type of discussions).

Why does he have a need for his understanding of the world to be universal. He recently rebuked me for engaging my own philosophies with a strong sense of uncertainty (I'm sorry that I dont' know everything at 24), and critiqued me for not being absolutely certain on everything that he thinks is important. (What if being open to new experiences and data is important to me. What it being able to admit that at best I'm dealing with limited information and experience, both biased, and that my culture and worldview aren't infallible? Why can't that be acceptable or important?)

Why is this offensive to him? Especially since he said he accepts the postmodern understanding of the world, but doesn't like it because it's too hard to implement. You accept it, so why are you pissed that I'm still trying to work with it? Does he feel like I'm showing him up or something?

I don't even want to approach him about being on eggshells because it will develop into another argument.

Maybe I just have trouble because you can't dialogue with someone who isn't open-minded. I have taken a more dialogical approach with people over the past few months (as best I'm trying), instead of yelling at each other from different cultures, trying to explore what experiences make us both think the way we do. Usually, it helps both parties better understand the other position, and makes for better relationships in most of my experiences...

maybe I'm frustrated because I don't think you can dialogue (a true dialogue) with someone who isn't open-minded, and I hate the fact that down deep, I'm starting to think that my brother in law isn't open-minded.

He's also constantly trying to get me into his anime and tv shows. I don't want to watch. Why can't you live with that?

A dick punch will solve your problems.

[Fat_Bulldog]

Have you considered rubbing your feces in his eyes?

[wart57]

Have you considered rubbing your feces in his eyes?

Afte that if he says your argument is full of crap, you can say so is your face. BURN!!!!

[G. Keenan]

Maybe he just likes to hear himself talk.

[Cronos]

It seems as if he's a little insecure in his own positions, JC.

I'd also say that this is most likely the case. Just tell him you don't want to discuss politics or religion or whatnot anymore if he brings it up. If he still tries to bring it up, say you'd rather not argue with him. Disarming your opponent is the easiest way to stop an argument.

Despite what you think of his beliefs, just don't bring up things with him anymore on these subjects. I know your nature is to discuss differences in opinion openly regardless of who may get hurt, but maybe he's just not the type that can easily do this or feels that people should do this.

[AdmiralKird]

It seems as if he's a little insecure in his own positions, JC.

I'd also say that this is most likely the case. Just tell him you don't want to discuss politics or religion or whatnot anymore if he brings it up. If he still tries to bring it up, say you'd rather not argue with him. Disarming your opponent is the easiest way to stop an argument.

Yeah, but his Brother-in-Law is probably just going to start complaining about how he's avoiding the issues and more about world unity in ideas or something.

What you should do is just agree with everything he says, but then suggest taking it one more step to the extreme. Eventually you can back him into a corner and he'll have to eat his own arguement.

Say he wants Universal Health Care. Tell him you agree but you think that thats not enough, start talking about how everyone should get a stipend from the government to be able to afford food and shelter. Talk about extending the government funds to the internet and television so everyone can learn about the 'issues' in elections. Tell him how we can't move forward as a 'people' until everyone is safe and able to afford the necessities of life. Eventually you can get him to agree that the government should fund everything to make the safety of every citizen equal. To make everyone safe though you need the government to fund universal assault rifles for every citizen. The government can't possibly regulate every gun in the U.S. to remove guns, so you need to equip every citizen with an AR-15 or the safety of every citizen isn't equal.

He'll never argue with you again.

[sighyoung]

JC, does your brother-in-law believe in some concept of adiaphora (areas of theological indifference)?

Not that it would help matters any.

[Fat_Bulldog]

Start saying you agree with him after he makes his point. See what his reaction is. You should have some fun at his expense.

[Swatcat27]

Its very frustrating because he's ALWAYS looking to get into some discussion. We have very different personalities and worldviews.

He makes broad statements that imply a certain understanding of humanity, life, existence etc. and if I don't agree with his understanging of the world, and disagree with some of his premies, then he claims that I'm avoiding the question.

I think my understanding of the world offends him, because he'll start yelling and making personal and emotional attacks, then claim that I'm being defensive because I don't think that I'm a relativist, or because I am still a pacifist and I still think that dying because I refused to commit violence is more important than staying alive.

He explodes when I disagree with him for more than like 7 minutes. (but claims that he doesn't explode... because yelling, swearing and calling me names is apparantly proper argument protocol - and when I walk away when he starts this temper tantrum, I'm being cowardly and defensive. ... ??? No, I'm just tired of arguing the SAME EXACT THING every day).

We both have a very different understandings of the world that just clash, which I don't really care about, except that I feel like I'm always walking on egg shells because if I even say hello, he's going to try and finagle an argument out of me. He sometimes follows me around and just has this look, like he's ready to pounce on anything I say. Seriously, I say "hello" and pray that he doesn't want a long discussion.

I know I'm not perfect ether, but I'm getting sick of being told that I'm not understanding what he's trying to say (said in an authoritative way as if he completely understands what I'm trying to say) and that I don't use logic or examples in my arguments when I do (more than him, I've started just calling him out on logical fallacies because its one of those, he gets 3 minutes, I get 30 seconds type of discussions).

Why does he have a need for his understanding of the world to be universal. He recently rebuked me for engaging my own philosophies with a strong sense of uncertainty (I'm sorry that I dont' know everything at 24), and critiqued me for not being absolutely certain on everything that he thinks is important. (What if being open to new experiences and data is important to me. What it being able to admit that at best I'm dealing with limited information and experience, both biased, and that my culture and worldview aren't infallible? Why can't that be acceptable or important?)

Why is this offensive to him? Especially since he said he accepts the postmodern understanding of the world, but doesn't like it because it's too hard to implement. You accept it, so why are you pissed that I'm still trying to work with it? Does he feel like I'm showing him up or something?

I don't even want to approach him about being on eggshells because it will develop into another argument.

Maybe I just have trouble because you can't dialogue with someone who isn't open-minded. I have taken a more dialogical approach with people over the past few months (as best I'm trying), instead of yelling at each other from different cultures, trying to explore what experiences make us both think the way we do. Usually, it helps both parties better understand the other position, and makes for better relationships in most of my experiences...

maybe I'm frustrated because I don't think you can dialogue (a true dialogue) with someone who isn't open-minded, and I hate the fact that down deep, I'm starting to think that my brother in law isn't open-minded.

He's also constantly trying to get me into his anime and tv shows. I don't want to watch. Why can't you live with that?

So, Bill O'Reilly is your brother ? I second that dick punch.