An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

The forum for ranting, raving, complaining and praising
User avatar
Popeye_Card
GRB's most intelligent & humble poster
Posts: 31083
Joined: April 17 06, 11:25 am

An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by Popeye_Card »

Part I: The Glory and Splendor

El Birdos Cantina
You call to me sweetly
Supreme nachos!
Salty, spicy, and meaty

Your jalapenos so green
Lead to pleasures unknown
Your pal Budweiser
Frosty refrshment is shown

For your last tasty bites
A fork I must use
Oh ballpark nachos!
How could you ever abuse?




Part II: The Agony and Denial

Sweet morning arrives
To the bathroom I wander
To duece or no duece?
A question I ponder

Politely I decline
And I step in the shower
Mid-shampoo my bowels feel
An incredible power

To the toilet I rush!
An explosion begins
Oh ballpark nachos!
Never again!


--P--

User avatar
thrill
bronoun enthusiast
Posts: 30539
Joined: April 14 06, 10:45 pm
Location: barely online

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by thrill »

*tear

User avatar
Cronos
In perpetuum
Posts: 34778
Joined: June 30 06, 7:49 am
Location: St. Louis

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by Cronos »

*finger snaps*

User avatar
G. Keenan
Sucking on the Rally Nipple
Posts: 23718
Joined: April 16 06, 6:03 pm
Location: Chicago

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by G. Keenan »

I love this message board so damn much.

jim
Red Lobster for the seafood lover in you
Posts: 50393
Joined: May 1 06, 2:41 pm

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by jim »

Holy Jesus that was funny.

User avatar
heyzeus
Everday Unicorn
Posts: 43330
Joined: April 21 06, 10:14 am
Location: Austin, TX

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by heyzeus »

t.s. eliot was such a hack. he never captured the spirit of nachos like you have.

User avatar
JL21
NPR & THT Contributor
Posts: 36109
Joined: April 18 06, 7:44 am
Location: Chocolate City

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by JL21 »

heyzeus wrote:t.s. eliot was such a hack. he never captured the spirit of nachos like you have.
I've read that Emily Dickinson could wolf down three plates of nachos in 10 minutes.

User avatar
Popeye_Card
GRB's most intelligent & humble poster
Posts: 31083
Joined: April 17 06, 11:25 am

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by Popeye_Card »

heyzeus wrote:t.s. eliot was such a hack. he never captured the spirit of nachos like you have.
I don't feel as though I've fully captured the burning sensation as the nachos exit my body. Nor did I mention round 2 after I got to work and had a cup of coffee.

Round 1 was pretty bad though. I didn't even have time to towel off. I just shut off the water and ran to the toilet.

Never again!

Until the next time I'm hungry at the game.

--P--

TimeForGuinness
Hall Of Famer
Posts: 20007
Joined: April 18 06, 7:38 pm

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by TimeForGuinness »

RC21 wrote:
heyzeus wrote:t.s. eliot was such a hack. he never captured the spirit of nachos like you have.
I've read that Emily Dickinson could wolf down three plates of nachos in 10 minutes.
...so that's how she died

Michael
GRB Founder
Posts: 35304
Joined: December 31 69, 6:00 pm
Location: Chicago, IL
Contact:

Re: An Ode to Ballpark Nachos (In Two Parts)

Post by Michael »

After I read, no, experienced this masterpiece I openly wept.

Thank you.

Post Reply