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All these faux rants about parents, I'm gonna post one without b****ing too much. Just lay it out there since it is what it is and they are what they are.


My mom: She's a good mom but not real warm and fuzzy and a bit of a front runner. My sis has 3 boys who are excellent soccer players (the eldest has all A's and will get a D1 scholly as a goalie) and she almost never misses a game.
She never expressed any interest in going to my 7 y/o daughter's games nor those of my stepson. So the other day my gf and I took her out to lunch then over to an antique shop in the hood. Since my youngun had a bball game to follow I invited Mom. Now just the night before she went down to Columbia Mo to watch the local HS win the Mo State Championship, so she thought it was okay to reply to my invite, "No thanks. It won't be much of a game after watching that one last night." WTF???? Did she think I invited her because of the high level of skill??????
Oh, well. That's Mom.

My dad: A few days before the 2001 Super Bowl, Dad calls my brother and I to tell us he had tix for us to go the game. Very cool. So we drive down to Tampa where Dad lives and where the game is being held. When we get there we find that he had 10 incredible seats, not fifteen rows from the field, that he was able to buy through his connection as President of the NFL Alumni in Tampa. Unfortunately, those tickets he had reserved for his stepsons and their wives and my sister and her husband. My brother and I?? My father's sons?? We got two relatively crappy seats that he won in a drawing a couple of days earlier.
Oh, well. That's Dad.

I don't really have any beefs with my parents. I'm not the favorite child of either, but they both treat me wonderfully, even when I don't treat them as great as I should.

My siblings though are a different story. My sister is OK, but we're just into completely different things. My eldest brother is cool, but can be kinda cocky about stuff. My other brother is two years older than me, and we were fairly close growing up. But since he left for college, I rarely see him. He didn't attend either my high school or college graduations, even though I attended his (and was a groomsman in his wedding, etc.). I have lived in ~20 different dorm rooms, apartments, houses, etc. since graduating high school, including where I live now just a mile south of downtown (where he visits for Blues and Cardinals games 10+ times a year). Yet a few weeks ago was the first time he has visited any of my houses since I moved away from home. What's up with that, besides his wife's family being selfish a-holes?

This is a total stab in the dark, but does the divorce create a dynamic where each parent is less willing to invest emotionally in the former relationship (or invest more in their current family/relationship)? If the divorce was especially painful, it may be their own way of protecting themselves, or putting boundaries around some very painful memories. If this is the case, you and your brother/daughter are sort of innocent bystanders in the mess.

Regardless, it sucks to have family members who don't show interest in you or your family. Sorry you have to experience this.

I didn't used to have hardly any issues with my parents(until about a year or two ago). I wasn't much of a rebel, and there were very supporting and helpful in just about every aspect. I wasn't the most active socially at first so I basically didn't have a curfew.

The few problems I do have with them(and probably them with me) started only recently when age is beginning to change them a bit, and when I became a drinker.

Other than the fact that they're the two most sexually repressed people I know, my parents are pretty good people. I was very fortunate. They've gotten wacky in their old age, f'sho, but that didn't manifest itself until I was into my 20's.

Hungary Jack wrote:This is a total stab in the dark, but does the divorce create a dynamic where each parent is less willing to invest emotionally in the former relationship (or invest more in their current family/relationship)? If the divorce was especially painful, it may be their own way of protecting themselves, or putting boundaries around some very painful memories. If this is the case, you and your brother/daughter are sort of innocent bystanders in the mess.

Regardless, it sucks to have family members who don't show interest in you or your family. Sorry you have to experience this.

Nah, my parents can just be inconsiderate boobs at times. C'est la vie.

Sometimes it happens all at once in an epiphany, and sometimes it's a slow and steady buildup... but isn't it a weird feeling when you realize that your parents are just normal everyday "people" with faults of their own?

maddash wrote:Sometimes it happens all at once in an epiphany, and sometimes it's a slow and steady buildup... but isn't it a weird feeling when you realize that your parents are just normal everyday "people" with faults of their own?

I think that's one of the most important stepping stones of maturity and independence, yes.

Willie: Whatcha my mom now? You shat me out of your womb?
Marcus: You said that yesterday, you stupid f***.



Willie: Is that your underwear?
Kid: Part of it.
Willie: Where the hell's the rest of it?
[the kid opens his mouth to speak]
Willie: Actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know. What do you want?
Kid: I was thinking I wanted a purple stuffed elephant, not pink. But now I changed my mind.
Willie: Yeah? What?
Kid: Now I don't want an elephant at all. I want a gorilla named Davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear. And he can take his orders from the talking walnut, so it won't be my bad thing.
[Santa looks at the kid in confusion]
Willie: Jesus, kid. When I was your age, I didn't need no f'ing gorilla. And I wasn't as big as one of your legs. Four kids beat me up one time and I went crying home to my daddy. You know what he did?
Kid: He made it all better?
Willie: No, he kicked my ass. You know why?
Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?
Willie: What the f***? No!
Kid: He tried to teach you not to cry and be a man?
Willie: No. It's because he was a mean, drunk, son of a [expletive]. And when he wasn't busy busting my ass, he was putting cigarettes out on my neck. The world ain't fair. You've gotta take what you need when you can get it. You've gotta learn to stand up for yourself. You have to stop being a wussy and kick these kids in the balls or something.
[the kid stares at Santa]
Willie: Or don't. S***. I don't care. Just leave me the hell out of it.
Kid: Okay. Thanks Santa.

My parents put up with my youthful indescretians with the law and let me continue to live with them until I graduated. If they don't go to one of my kids games, or choose to go to a brothers kids game instead, I am not gonna flip out about it.