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Ok, so maybe it's unfair for me to rant about this - old people are generally lonely and crave any kind of attention they can get - but jeeze, enough with the shtick. It's like once you hit 70, you're given a bunch of bad jokes by AARP you feel obligated to tell... EVERYONE, OVER AND OVER. And then the stories of how you're old and shouldn't eat sweets, but sneak them in anyway... um, yeah, that's riveting stuff gramps, now how about shutting the hell up. You'd think old people would have these great stories about how they won the war, or ran moonshine, or landed on the moon... but no, they're really boring people with really boring stories. And I think they know this, so they work on these jokes they tell over and over to try and get people to listen to them. I don't even think they care about the punchline, they just know a setup to a joke is bound to get someone to look at them.

Old man: Did you hear the one about...
Me: [turns head to look] Huh?
Me: ....ahhh, god dammit, I fell for it again

Or they tell you about the funny birthday card they got with the wrinkled dog next to the wrinkled lady... Yes grandma, I got you that card. You're telling me about a funny card that I gave to you. For the love of god, they could just make up stories if they wanted to. I mean, jesus, tell us about your trip to the center of the earth with Jules Verne and Benny Goodman. It's not like we're going to try and correct you or anything. But enough with the stupid shtick already.

Normally, I might agree....but my gramps just passed away last week. So, enjoy the time with them while you can. Get interesting stories from them while they remember....for instance, I never asked my gramps about the war (he was in the marines at the end of WWII and during the Korean conflict). Coulda-shoulda-woulda now.......

Simbagal23 wrote:Normally, I might agree....but my gramps just passed away last week. So, enjoy the time with them while you can. Get interesting stories from them while they remember....for instance, I never asked my gramps about the war (he was in the marines at the end of WWII and during the Korean conflict). Coulda-shoulda-woulda now.......

Sorry for your loss Simbagal. I persuaded my grandpa to record a bunch of his stories to tape for the family record. I think he felt more comfortable telling certain stories, especially war related ones, to a machine. I do vividly remember him telling me stories of his time in the Navy during WWII when I was just a kid. They were brutal stories to be honest, stories a kid shouldn't be hearing, but I feel honored to have heard them. If I asked him to tell those same stories to me now, directly in person, I really don't think he'd open up. So if it's any solace for you missing those stories, I really doubt he'd open up about many of his war stories... at least that's my experience.

To get serious about the shtick though, the humor old people rely on is, IMO, a crutch for their social awkwardness. I think it's hard for them to relate to the people who visit them that are a generation or two (or three) younger, so they fall back on jokes to try and interject themselves into conversions.

Perhaps you're the one having trouble relating.


FWIW my grandma was hilarious. For her 50th wedding anniversary she presented herself with an award that referred to my grandpa as "old and ugly".

My grandma was a nut. She used to order coffee like this "I want it like my men. Black and strong." This was coming from a 60 something grandma lady. She also used to steal silverware at restaurants and put it in the purses of people at our table so that when they reached for their wallets when the bill came, the server would see them pull silverware out. She was hilarious.

Michael wrote:Perhaps you're the one having trouble relating.

Could be, my opinions on buffets and African Americans don't exactly jive with theirs, and that can occasionally stifle conversation.

I remember going out to eat about a year ago with my grandma, parents, and three couples that were friends of my grandma, all of them were about 80. The entire time, nothing but talking about their latest medical tests, and their latest medical problems with EVERYTHING. Way, Way, More than I wanted to know. Keep the intestine stories to yourself please, kthx. I promised myself from then on when I get to 80, I'm going to remind myself everyday I am a senile old man and should keep my mouth shut.

As far as my grandpa goes, he was one of the cooler ones. Each year our school would hold a grandparents day, where we would bring our grandparents with us for most of the day. I remember during 6th grade, my lit teacher was asking everyone what their grandparents were doing during 'those moments you'll never forget where you were'. He asked my grandpa what he was doing when Kennedy was assassinated and he said he was downtown checking out all the fine girls at the time and really didn't remember. Of course he had been married for twenty years in 1963 and my grandma practically slapped him for making that remark. Almost weekly I'd go over to their house and play cards. He was quite a player. Back in DubyaDubyaTwo, he would clean out most of the players on his destroyer. My grandma could never beat him. We'd always be down to the last hand of something and she'd be so excited and he'd pull some trump card from nowhere and he'd start chuckling at her and she'd get so upset and throw her hand at him and he'd break out laughing.

My dad takes her to Cardinals games sometimes. She always curses at them when they give up just one run and yells at all the opposing fans around when they stand up to cheer. Needless to say, shes self-banned herself from Cubs-Cardinals games.

AdmiralKird wrote: The entire time, nothing but talking about their latest medical tests, and their latest medical problems with EVERYTHING. Way, Way, More than I wanted to know. Keep the intestine stories to yourself please, kthx. I promised myself from then on when I get to 80, I'm going to remind myself everyday I am a senile old man and should keep my mouth shut.

Hubby and I went to some spring training games this year....stayed at a friend's condo in the Ft. Myers area. Around 3:00 one afternoon, we decide to hit the pool.......turns out it was old timer's happy hour (because they had to leave at 4:00 in order to get to their favorite local restuarant for the early bird special!). Anyway, we're the youngest couple there by a good 30 years or so; we find a spot and lay out, minding our own business. All we heard for the next hour was some old guy in the pool, loudly discussing his various maladies to any lady that would listen. He even discussed his latest colonoscopy. Not sure if any of his lines worked, I couldn't take it anymore...we left and went to the bars!

My dad has become fairly humorless in his old age. His WWII stories started gushing out about 4 years ago, and even though I've now heard them many, many times, I'm glad he finally opened up. And he talks incessantly about how he plans to get his driver's license back and his many regrets in life. I don't think he remembers all of the prior discussions we've had about these things.

My mom still cracks me up, though. Biggest concern about her is that her level of worrying is increasing exponentially. About health, money, home maintenance, her dog's bowel movements - you name it, she's worried about it. But she realizes it, and makes light of it often.

Don't get me wrong - I'm very lucky to still have both of my parents, and get back to St. Louis as often as I can to see them. I look forward to those moments when we actually have meaningful conversations instead of rehashing old topics, but unfortunately, that's becoming all too rare these days, especially with Dad.

Simbagal23 wrote:He even discussed his latest colonoscopy.

I would gladly take a colonoscopy story after what I had to listen to. I don't even want to think about it anymore, plus I'm pretty sure Keenan would have to release the edit hammer on me again for it not being family friendly.