GatewayRedbirds.com

Finding them on your car is annoying enough, and the fact that the clubs themselves are overpriced dumps with bartenders who can't make a drink and customers who look like fools...

But what really gets me is how poorly designed they are. Your stupid fonts and the outer glows you put on them. Your lazy lens flare and cloud filters. Your horrible color palette and layout choices. You're trying to sell a hip and trendy place by being completely un-hip and un-trendy.

Maybe that's why club goers dress like idiots, they have no freaking taste.

[SHOW]

Yo.

No interest in clubs in past, nor future....

yikes...2004

Everyone has their own thing...

...they like to make crappy fliers, go to raves, and listen to trance, drum n' bass, jungle, techno, house, etc...
...you like to point out underage T&A in photos that wart57 posts and scope them out in the mall...

...well all have our things...it's what makes us individuals.

I don't go to clubs very often. Almost never really. But they can be fun if you have a sense of humor about it and are up for getting completely smashed and throwing your dignity aside for an evening, which I happen to think is an excellent practice every so often.

docellis wrote:yikes...2004

I just grabbed whatever image came up first. This one is from this year and still looks terrible:



Good design that's hip really isn't that difficult.

docellis wrote:yikes...2004

I guarantee you that the night advertised on that poster was awesome. For starters, it was in an English club, and English clubs are friggin' awesomely hilariously great. On top of that it was in Portsmouth, which would have upped that awesomeness 10 fold because of the number of pikeys and pretzels that would have been in attendance.

The description on that first flyer is just awful:
"Big thanx goes out..."
"Massive respect to all those who raised the roof..."
"Follow the light... Follow the Future... That Future is Now!!"

G. Keenan wrote:I guarantee you that the night advertised on that poster was awesome. For starters, it was in an English club, and English clubs are friggin' awesomely hilariously great. On top of that it was in Portsmouth, which would have upped that awesomeness 10 fold because of the number of pikeys and pretzels that would have been in attendance.

As in hilariously bad dancing? What's a pikey?

I can't wait to see MC Smiley, the big green argon lazer, and the full u.v. decor.

Arthur Dent wrote:

G. Keenan wrote:I guarantee you that the night advertised on that poster was awesome. For starters, it was in an English club, and English clubs are friggin' awesomely hilariously great. On top of that it was in Portsmouth, which would have upped that awesomeness 10 fold because of the number of pikeys and pretzels that would have been in attendance.

As in hilariously bad dancing? What's a pikey?

A pikey is basically white trash, except instead of living in trailers they live in council houses. Another name for them is Chavs, which I believe is a police term meaning "council house acting violently." Pikeys like hanging out in groups to harass and beat people up for things like talking properly, looking at them, not looking at them, thinking you're better than them, etc. Pikey women get slutted up to go out like no other group of people on earth. It's amazing.

The clubs they go to usually have at least one person get a bottle to the face on a given evening and the bi-monthly stabbing. These clubs are hilarious because they are so trashy and so over-the-top. The music is always the worst Euro-pop/techno and there always seem to be lasers and a fog machine. Because the drinking age in England is 18 you have kids sneaking into the clubs at 16 and 17, meaning that when you're dancing with a girl and or making out with her on the dance floor there is the chance she is a junior in high school.

They are just and weird and ridiculous and tons of fun if you don't take yourself too seriously for a night.