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My roommate is really starting to get on my nerves.

I have a work from Rigoletto: "La donna e mobile" in my head all day after hearing a good version of it on the radio. Later as I get home, I greet my roommate and he seems in a well enough mood. I've had an issue or two with him in the past, I won't lie, but they've never been enough to truly rankle me. After the previously mentioned conversation, I hit the restroom. I sing a little bit of the last verse of the previous song rather quietly while washing my hands because I like the song, it's in my head, and I am in a good and singing mood.

I head back out to the common room enroute to my room, and he tells me: "Keep in mind the doors are very thin".

At first I have no idea what he's talking about. I have been known to sing to myself a little bit here and there, without any regard to what's happening. I say "Excuse me?" and he elaborates: "The doors, they're thin. And if you do that you subject yourself to sh*tty reviews."

I'm a little taken aback by this in the moment because I feel like if I have any reason to be prideful about anything in my life, it's my singing voice. I've done quite a bit of vocal work, including several all-state appearances in high school, four years of collegiate non-professional vocal work that which has all received positive reviews from very credible sources within the institution. Not that I'm saying I have the best singing voice in the world, but you get the point. Note: he has done absolutely no vocal work in his entire life as far as he has told me. The man has told me he appreciates classical music, opera, and whatnot. So I feel it would normally be okay to do such a thing as recall a fond memory of vocal work in the past.

I'm stunned, and don't know what to say. I then finally figure out what's going on, and then offer, figuring he must not like opera: "Oh, you don't like 'La donna e mobile'?" He chuckles, and looks away as he says "I've heard better." As my face reddens and I head to my room to avoid reaction to both shock and a hideous review from a completely ignorant source of a ten second piece of self-professed completely unprofessional work, he claims half-assedly that he's joking.

This is the kind of thing that has always driven me CRAZY: when someone says something that they only moments later say: "Oh come on, I'm just joking".

No, you weren't joking. You wouldn't have said it if you hadn't thought there was a grain of truth to it. That's your way of apologizing for something you should never have said when you feel guilty for creating the EXACT REACTION YOU SOUGHT TO CREATE by saying it.

Excuse me, Luciano f*ing Pavarotti. Let me know the next time you do something off-the-cuff that you're innately passionate about of which I know nothing so that I can rob you of any self-esteem you might once have had. Then we can call it even.

Oh, and flush the toilet once in a while after doing your business, Troglodyte.

Therapist: "You give other people too much ability to determine how you feel."

dangerous wrote:Therapist: "You give other people too much ability to determine how you feel."

How do we know who we are if not through what we observe whether it be by our own actions or sensations of the world around us?

Cronos69 wrote:

dangerous wrote:Therapist: "You give other people too much ability to determine how you feel."

How do we know who we are if not through what we observe whether it be by our own actions or sensations of the world around us?

There is a risk in giving too much credence to another person's reality.

dangerous wrote:

Cronos69 wrote:

dangerous wrote:Therapist: "You give other people too much ability to determine how you feel."

How do we know who we are if not through what we observe whether it be by our own actions or sensations of the world around us?

There is a risk in giving too much credence to another person's reality.

Why should my reality be any more credible than anyone else's?

Cronos69 wrote:

dangerous wrote:

Cronos69 wrote:

dangerous wrote:Therapist: "You give other people too much ability to determine how you feel."

How do we know who we are if not through what we observe whether it be by our own actions or sensations of the world around us?

There is a risk in giving too much credence to another person's reality.

Why should my reality be any more credible than anyone else's?

Perception of reality is subjective, obviously, so we make choices. Do you want to enjoy singing in the shower or do you want to avoid your roommate's criticism?

Cronos69 wrote:Why should my reality be any more credible than anyone else's?

dangerous wrote: Perception of reality is subjective, obviously, so we make choices. Do you want to enjoy singing in the shower or do you want to avoid your roommate's criticism?

I don't know what the latter has to do with the current situation, and I'd much rather not have a roommate who criticizes every minor thing I do from the way I rouse myself in the morning for class, to the way I organize my personal bedroom, to the way I lock the doorknob lock instead of the deadbolt, to the way I melt cheese over rice in the microwave instead of putting meat, sauce and seasonings over it, to the way I connect to the internet over the way he connects to the internet.

See a pattern here, anyone?

i'm saying your roommate is an ahole in the way everyone is an ahole- anyone can get on someone's nerves, be hypercritical, say insensitive comments and then deny their intent, etc. He could complain about you-- "cronos thinks he's Pavarotti, I don't like his singing," or, "cronos always lets me know when I'm too judgemental of others, it bugs me." So we are left with making a judgement about ourselves- was I really out of line and hurtful or intrusive or was I just being myself and my roommate has a problem with my spontaneity? If he really objects to all the little things you mentioned he may be envious of you or just really petty.

dangerous wrote:If he really objects to all the little things you mentioned he may be envious of you or just really petty.

He's shown too much self-respect and pride for me to indulge thoughts of the former, so I'm left to consider the latter, first and foremost.

Cronos69 wrote:

Cronos69 wrote:Why should my reality be any more credible than anyone else's?

dangerous wrote: Perception of reality is subjective, obviously, so we make choices. Do you want to enjoy singing in the shower or do you want to avoid your roommate's criticism?

I don't know what the latter has to do with the current situation, and I'd much rather not have a roommate who criticizes every minor thing I do from the way I rouse myself in the morning for class, to the way I organize my personal bedroom, to the way I lock the doorknob lock instead of the deadbolt, to the way I melt cheese over rice in the microwave instead of putting meat, sauce and seasonings over it, to the way I connect to the internet over the way he connects to the internet.

See a pattern here, anyone?

Have you tried criticizing every minor thing he does?