Not being able to maintain anger

[docellis]

I wish I could maintain anger. I get really mad---really mad in an instant. But once that feeling dissipates, I can't force it to come back.

So, many times I get over things I shouldn't. I forget slights that I should remember.

I allow crazy people back in my life because I don't have the ability to sustain anger.

I used to get so mad that I countered my antagonist with enough force that they wouldn't attempt friendship with me ever again.

But I don't care that much anymore. I get mad enough to post here. Then I forget how mad I was and after a few months I hang out with people I don't need to be dealing with.

How do you cut ties with people?

[Hudler]

Do something to make them really mad at you,then it's their problem.

[Richie Allen]

How do you cut ties with people?

You probably shouldn't decide whether or not to cut ties with someone while you're angry. And you shouldn't have to be angry with someone when you do ultimately decide to cut ties with them.

You might be flying off the handle and saying you're going to cut ties with someone when you're really angry but once you settle down you realize that possibly you overreacted and you don't really want to cut ties with them.

I'd suggest waiting until you're thinking straight and if it makes sense to get them out of your life, you go about it in a calm, level-headed way.

[docellis]

One person: I flat out said that I had no interest in speaking with him (e-mail, text, phone). They popped back up yesterday. After a month or so.

The other person: An ex who I do not trust enough to not be a total pyscho and come beat me up. He has never beat me up before, but he has pushed me and did that FINGER POKE into my chest that I think means he might.

[M1IRONMIKE]

One person: I flat out said that I had no interest in speaking with him (e-mail, text, phone). They popped back up yesterday. After a month or so.

This isn't the DVD player extortionist is it?

[jeffbgoofy]

ok, you sound like me. I think you need a good nice guy in your life to treat you well and to help you thru your struggles. The problem being, most of us are married. So I wish you luck there. I do know country music tends to have either nice guys or drunk rednecks, so there may be an option, just choose carefully.

With the poke finger guy. Do not, and I repeat, do not ever let a guy do that to you again. If they do, call someone immediately....

[Jocephus]

hmm....its easy for me to seed out the [expletive] from the rest....just completely ignore them, if you can....

[Sutter'sBeard]

I wish I could maintain anger. I get really mad---really mad in an instant. But once that feeling dissipates, I can't force it to come back.

So, many times I get over things I shouldn't. I forget slights that I should remember.

I allow crazy people back in my life because I don't have the ability to sustain anger.

I used to get so mad that I countered my antagonist with enough force that they wouldn't attempt friendship with me ever again.

But I don't care that much anymore. I get mad enough to post here. Then I forget how mad I was and after a few months I hang out with people I don't need to be dealing with.

How do you cut ties with people?

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (M Gandhi)

[StatmanCrothers]

Tell them about an oozing sore you have that you can't show them. Ask how much stuff has to come out of a sore over a month or so before it should become a concern. Then pretend to change the subject and ask if they prefer alfredo sauce or marinara, or a mixture?

[sighyoung]

You're talking about two different issues: 1) letting go of anger, and 2) steering clear of problematic individuals.

It's great that you don't stay angry with others. Your initial reactions are legitimate. You deal with the problem, and that's the end of the matter. It's also fine to be happy to see these people weeks or months later--that's normal, since you wish them well.

But you don't have to be mad about something to say no to more goofy [expletive]. I don't know the answer to this problem, especially since you seem to do a good job looking out for yourself. But frankly, your mention of the psycho ex scares me.